[02] Saṃsāra

[Joe Petersen's POV]

It's eerily dark. Has night fallen already?

No, this perpetual blankness encroaching on my existence wasn't night. My existence has lost meaning since I've become one with the void—an endless sea of darkness.

Is this what it feels like to die when life reaches its epilogue? Death. I felt fear, an ominous dread of death itself. It's a pity a poor soul can't tremble. I was traumatized by mortality.

Death was terrifying. After dying, I now understood that I was utterly alone, cast out from the cycle of life. I could never return to the plane of the living.

Wait... I don't know who I am! Who am I? It seemed my memories had been devoured by the conceptual void around me. I've forgotten everything—a loss of self-identity. No, that wasn't any worse than shedding my mortal coil.

Is this what they call eternal suffering? I felt despair, yet I didn't blame anyone for my misfortune.

I don't know how long I had been staring into the nothingness until an infinite loop of stars appeared out of nowhere, spiraling hypnotically before my presence. An illusion?

I watched in confusion, thinking of the worst possible outcomes if something went awry with those bizarre stars. I knew I wouldn't have time to feel my astral existence turning to nullity if a supernova exploded in my face. Maybe a big bang would be more lenient—

I wasn't given enough time to form another thought as the horrific and cynical endings I had visualized came to be. Luck couldn't be controlled; it was a variable, and variables exist for a reason.

The entire pixelation of my existence ushered me into a completely white expanse with no boundaries or ends. What just happened was beyond mortal understanding and couldn't be explained by physics.

"Fantasy? Am I in a fictional reality, or is this some kind of twisted afterlife?" Panic clawed at my throat. The idea of being trapped in a fabricated world was terrifying, but the alternative - eternal damnation - sent shivers down my non-existent spine.

"You really think too much nonsense. I'm not impressed by your overthinking," a voice said, displeased.

"Within complexity lies a simple answer. Why should one seek a complicated solution when the answer lies within one's soul?"

If my soul could scream, I would have screamed Bloody Mary after hearing those cold, displeased words. The one behind that voice scared the hell out of my poor soul.

I tried to look around, but all I registered in this endless domain was whiteness.

"What a panicky mess," the voice sounded again before an eerie silence took over.

It was only after a few moments that the being behind the voice continued, "Hmm, now I see the reason behind your current behavior. You are like a baby. The void is unforgiving, and it washed away the very core of your existence—your former identity."

I forced myself to calm down and listened closely to the voice.

"Returning your former identity, including memories, will nullify your first wish, then," the entity talked to itself.

'First wish?' I thought in discombobulation. I don't remember ever wishing for anything.

Then it happened. Almost immediately, I felt a flood of foreign memories pouring deeply into my soul like a waterfall. It was overwhelming and weirdly orgasmic, like experiencing spiritual nirvana.

For once, since I came to the void, I felt like myself again. I had recovered every piece of the puzzle about my existence.

I was... Joe Effin' Petersen!

And the killer behind my sudden death had been... a meme! A clichéd existence, to boot! Why did I have to die via a damned truck when my life was just getting better? All my dreams and ambitions had become like smoke, gray and effortlessly blown away!

I was bitter, but whatever vendetta I had against the envoy of protagonists, Truck-kun, it was better to be discarded since I had just died. Despite my bitterness, I eventually came to terms with my current situation. There was no room for useless whining. What's done is done, and the past couldn't simply be reversed, as it was beyond humanity's capabilities. Time was a taboo concept, and in the grand scheme of things, I was just an ant. After this realization and acceptance sank in, tranquility began to permeate every layer of my soul as I aimlessly looked around, even though I couldn't spot the so-called existence behind the reappearance of my memories.

'Only by embracing tranquility can one see the truth,' I mused. Of course, that line was just a bullshit mantra I had read from Xianxia classics.

"You may continue," I said, not bothering to bargain about my already expended wish. Whatever forces had been guiding my fate since I ceased to exist had to be the fabled higher-dimensional entities. And those types of guys should never be messed with. Like, ever. Unless... let's leave that out.

Also, since I was essentially one with death, the opportunity glaring in front of me was hard to pass up. It was possibly going to serve as my only chance at rebirth.

"Karma. Your karma is pitifully low, but through the intervention of the 'one who foresees all,' the matter of cause and effect may as well be taken into consideration," the voice, neither female nor male, continued without pause. "I deem that your second wish may be the rebirth you mortals always hunger for."

I listened carefully but didn't voice my thoughts. 'So far, I haven't been given any power to choose whatever I want. Those two wishes can be considered to have served their purpose.'

I felt neither grateful nor ungrateful toward the circumstances beyond my control, as I understood that I was not inherently entitled to anything.

"I prefer this version of you over the previous, untainted one. The traces of samsara energy in the void can be a nuisance," the mysterious voice stated impassively. "Mortals should know their place."

'That was a random remark for a mind reader,' I thought, unsurprised. As an avid reader, I was well-versed in the themes of reincarnation and transmigration.

I disregarded the being's remarks, for my primary concern was leaving the endless white room before its unending whiteness potentially triggered a photosensitive epileptic episode – a pun, of course.

"Interesting. Now, onto your last wish. Look at the Sacred Eternal Wheel of Fortune in front of you..."

I smiled internally when I saw a resplendent golden wheel gradually materialize before me. It weirdly resembled Divine General Mahoraga's Sacred Treasure, or maybe it did since my mind was filled with a plethora of vivid information about anime.

"The oscillation of Fortune lies in the palm of your hands, but only your luck will determine what kind of reward you will reap for yourself."

"I will happily await the conclusion instead of divining the outcome."

"Use your thoughts to urge the wheel to rotate."

I looked at the alluring golden wheel with immense curiosity. I had no control over my own luck. No one did. The situation was truly... exciting. I was prepared for any eventuality.

And then, with a thought, I willed the Sacred Eternal Wheel of Fortune to rotate.

The Wheel of Fortune held endless random abilities, bloodlines, systems, and items that differed in usefulness and versatility: [All Fiction], [A Witch's Grimoire], [Merlin's Staff], [Infinity Gauntlet], [Reality Manipulation], [Andy's Death Negation], [Eyes of Horus], [Denial of Nothingness], [The Architect's System], [Infinite Mana], [All-seeing Eyes of Odin], [Dog-licking System], [Meta Essence Gacha], [Sun Wukong's Golden Cudgel], [Black King's Bloodline], [Nano Machine], [Golden Rod], [Idle System], [Sparda Bloodline], [The Strongest System], [Nigh-Immortality]...

It would be a lie to say I wasn't filled with tension and expectations as abilities, bloodlines, systems, and overpowered items from possibly infinite realities were mirrored before my eyes.

Of course, I wished to get some good stuff, just like any normal human. Who didn't like advantageous outcomes?

Anyway, when the Sacred Eternal Wheel finally stopped, I knew my fate was sealed.

[Super USB Drive]

As soon as the wheel stopped, pointing toward my future, a shiny black USB drive materialized from the realm of unreality before it flew and quickly merged with my soul. I didn't even get the chance to react to the USB Drive's supernatural speed.

"So it is 'that' item. Your luck didn't betray you, it seems. My business with you seems to have reached an end."

"Hmph, that old geezer won't be owing me anything starting from this moment."

Those were the last words of displeasure I heard before I could even process my thoughts.

The next moments of my life became a living hell of blackness as my astral existence shuttled to an unknown, distant reality! Who knows? Maybe I might just die again.

I might be reborn as an NPC in Bloodborne, a Gu in Reverend Insanity, a big boss in Dark Souls, a Corrupted in Shadow Slave, or as Kiana, if the author was into gender bender and fluff. 

All in all, I braced myself for the worst. Goddamn ball-fondler Murphy was always listening, always waiting for a positivity slip-up before I get cooked. 

My golden finger could be rendered inconsequential depending on the power level of the universe to which I might find my ass yeeted!

…