Mad

The urge for a cigarette rose in me and I strolled around my house in vain effort to buy cigarettes. There was no cigarette around because all shops were closed and their owners had gone to bed.

I went back to my room and sat on the cushion, I didn't know when I dozed off. When I woke up I looked at my watch. It was 11.00 p.m. I screamed wildly in disbelief.

I had to recruit some one tonight if I was to survive as a man. Jumping into my car, I drove out without even combing my hair.

My fate lay on whether I could recruit a girl tonight or not. I had to find a female: I didn't want the experience of job-seeking again. I was not prepared to re-enact that drama again.

I drove into the darkness of the night. Nobody existed in the streets. The only type of people I met on the streets were drunks and drug- addicts. I did not even see a single woman, although my plan was to recruit any woman at sight even if she was a murderess.

I drove along Kashim Ibrahim Road, making the bend to Bama road through Customs roundabout. I drove the whole length of Bama road then switched to the right along the road

from Bulabulin. I still did not meet any woman. I crossed Zuwa de Wuri and ended in Bakin Gada, still without meeting any woman. Turning to the right at the El Kanemi Cinema roundabout, I continued through the old market to Baban Line. I came across some drunken males, but not women. From Baban Line I shot out at Old Paladium Hotel in Hausari and found my way into Mafoni Ward. I was virtually the only man driving in town at

the time. From Mafoni Ward. I drove wildly across Sabon Lamba and came out once more on Kashim Ibrahim Road opposite

Borno Guest Inn, and continued thereafter to Abba Ganaram.

It was a vain search. I couldn't meet females, nor males at this time.

I looked at my watch. 1 a.m. God! I wasn't going to get anybody!

I wasn't going to get anybody!

I remembered that Calypso Hotel operated even after 1 a.m. So I drove through the State Low-cost Houses on my way to the Hotel. As I thought, Calypso Hotel was as busy as if it was day time. There were many men and women drinking. I beckoned woman who I believed was aged between twenty-five and twentyeight.

She came. I told her to sit down and ordered a beer for her.

Then I started to tell her everything about Ali's Group of Companies and my plan to give her a job there. Suddenly, an angry man headed towards me.

You want my woman eh?' The next thing was a heavy punch which landed directly on my jaw. It seemed to me that my jaw was broken instantly. I jumped.up from the chair and went for him. I collected all my energy and weight together on my fist and landed it on his forehead. I was completely satisfied because I felt that that would be the end of the man. I was stunned when he pounced on me again as if I did not give him any blow. He held my hand and whirled me around like a child playing with a toy. What followed next was a terrific blow on my medulla oblongata. I fell face down.

I heard the name of a hospital mentioned, and went into oblivion. Before we reached the hospital I regained consciousness and came to myself completely, except that I still had a mild headache. I looked at the driver who was taking me to the hospital and nearly requested him to drive me back to Calypso

because the pain had gone. I decided not to tell him this because I felt there was nothing wrong if I got some panadol or novalgin

from the hospital.

When the man drove into the hospital gate, he

shouted 'emergency'. Three people rushed to carry me. I closed my eyes like one who was really sick, and this was because the man who brought me was making a serious case out of nothing by declaring me an emergency case.

All I knew was that I had a mild headache, which was in fact almost gone. The three men

carried me into the male ward and put me on the bed. I opened my eyes occasionally to have the glimpse of the people who were

carrying me.

The Medical Officer on duty was an Indian doctor, Raji Ventakaraman. Doctor Ventakarama touched my forehead and

pronounced that I was suffering from a severe dengue fever. I nearly burst into laughter. This was because I was far from

suffering from any type of fever. He was told by the man who brought me in his car that what really happened was that I was given a blow by somebody on my head which sent me into a state of coma.

What's your name?" the doctor asked. 'Akaa' I said with the voice of one who was really sick. Where did this happen?' I told him it happened in a hotel where I went to recruit people to work in my company. Then realising that my car could be in jeopardy in Calypso Hotel, I told the doctor to send someone down to the

Hotel to bring my mercedes car or keep watch over it. This was a slip of tongue because my car was a peugeot car.

'You own a mercedes car?" the Doctor asked, looking unbelievingly as if I was not qualified to own a mercedes car. I corrected the mistake and told him that I owned a peugeot car. 'Search his body for his true identity if there is any evidence! The people did this and

brought out my identity card. They read it and told Doctor Ventakaraman that I had recently been employed in Ali's Group of Companies.

Get me the phone Directory' he ordered. My eyes were closed then. Somebody did this, and the next thing was that Doctor Ventakaraman was dialling a number. 'Is that the Residence of Alhaji Mohamed Ali?' I heard. We have an Akaa Iyortyer here in our hospital. He works in your company and he

is gravely ill!

Mohamed Ali must have said something in response to this because Doctor Ventakaraman said 'I don't know where to place him yet... but from what I can see the patient might be suffering from hereditary psychosis.' I didn't believe my ears. There is

evidence of severe mental disorder. It is either a case of anxiety neurosis or that of severe schizophrenia.'

I thought I was hearing this in a dream. Doctor Ventakaraman continued This type of severe personality disorder is better treated in a psychiatric hospital where he would be subjected to series of psychoanalytic therapy- hypnosis.

Psychotherapy is better, but we shall try all the

same.' Mohamed Ali certainly must have said something to this, because Doctor Ventakaraman said 'He has the impression that he wants to recruit people to work.

This is a hallucinatory condition. Our patient believes strongly that he owns a mercedes

car... these are of course delusions. This type of hallucination is the first step towards schizophrenia, and stark lunacy.' After

some silence, doctor Ventakaraman said 'okay' and hung up.