chapter 4

They continued in this fashion until they were tired and Madam Ladapo had to leave the room. When she had gone, I lay on my bed and started to think about the ridiculous things they said

about me. They had said that I took three square meals a day and changed clothes like the manager of a fashion store. I considered this to be the unkindest remark they have made about me and this pained me more than their charge that I was an armed robber. I did not take three square meals a day, for I was practically starving.

And I had only two dresses, which though very old, I made sure I washed always. On several occasions. I had to go to different restaurants to tell their proprietors the bare truth about myself, the fact that I had just been released from prison and had no money for feeding. Proprietors who were kind allowed me to take a free meal while those who lacked human sympathy often ordered me out of their restaurants with irritating comments. I felt I should confront my landlady to protest vehemently and if possible return her seventy naira to her in protest. I decided that this was suicide because it would leave me without

transport money to Maiduguri and without money to feed myself in Ibadan. I needed the money very badly so that I could go to Maiduguri and secure a job I still felt I should protest to her all the same without returning the money to her. Again I saw that this was not safe; she could be provoked and request for her money, and this was against my wish. Infact, since she gave me that money I had never had peace of mind. I touched my pocket

every minute to be sure that the money was there.

Even the sight of Madam Ladapo with whom I nearly collided on my landlady's doorsteps made me miss a pulse because I thought she was an

attacker who wanted my money. After weighing everything, I decided to leave my landlady alone and pretend that I never heard her conversation about me with Madam Ladapo. And this was exactly what I did. I pretended that I never overhead their conversation. I picked my novel once more and started to read. But it was still my landlady who disturbed my concentration. She knocked on my door and brought me to attention.

She did not come to sit down, instead she stood on the doorway. How are you preparing for your journey?" she asked. I was tempted to rain abuses on her and tell her that I heard the bad things she and Madam ladapo said about me. I struggled hard against this temptation and told her that I had packed all my things. This wasn't really true

because I had no properties to pack. The bed did not belong to me, neither did the curtain. My only possession were two other tattered shirts, and they were still hanging on the wall. She was

observant enough to see them. 'You haven't packed those shirts yet' she said indicating the shirts on the wall. 'I would pack them,' I said. She paused. When are you packing them?' She

asked. I nearly told her that it wasn't her business to know. 'I will pack them whenever I am going' I said instead. 'when are you going?'

Her questions were becoming very irritating to me. I had heard Madam Ladapo tell her to force me to go to Maiduguri.on the assumption that I was an armed robber. When are you going?'

She asked again. You are really a stupid slut' I said feebly. 'I beg your pardon?" she said. I told her I was thinking aloud and didn't infact speak to her. You don't know when you are going yet?' She asked. I had a strong urge to throw her seventy natra at her and push her out of my door step. The knowledge that this would make me end up without money prevented me from doing this. I knew that I was travelling to Maiduguri the next day, but my hatred for her because of her opinion of me debarred me from telling. Instead I told her that I might go the next day, two or in four days time . When precisely do you think you can make it?' She asked. Anger gnawed me to my groins. 1

dont know!' I said rudely. Embarassed, she left me. I picked my novel once more and started to read. This time, I was only staring at it because my mind was not there. It occurred to me that I had not kept my appointment with the Head of Drama Program who had promised me a job in the State Television. I had been very reluctant to keep this appointment because the State Television House was located in Agodi where I did all my prison labours, and the sight of the entire area after my release from prison often gave me nausea. Besides, since I was leaving for Maiduguri the next day I did not really see any point keeping the appointment. Although the Head of Drama had promised me that I was going to get the job on the spot, I had no confidence in his promise because many employers had given me vain promises before.

The only reason why I decided to go there was that I was promised a high salary grade, higher than all other promises I had got before. I was also hoping that such a job could help me

develop my talent in acting and expose me to producer-directors like Victor Olaiya and Hubert Ogunde. I had only twenty kobo left on me. I was certain that even an insane taxi driver would not accept that amount from my house at Gbagi to Agodi which was several kilometres away. I had no choice but to fall on the seventy naira which my landlady gave me for my taxi fare to Agodi.

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