chapter 10

I knocked on the door of the Director of Lake Chad Research Institute. It would be my first time of meeting him face to face over this matter of getting a job. When I entered he told me to sit down. He was the friendly kind. The first thing he did was to offer me a cigarette. And I needed it badly. I lit it and drew the smoke into my lungs and felt very high. You are Akaa Iyortyer?' he asked. I nodded and handed my curricula vitae to him. He read the curricula vitae from the beginning to the end. He also re-read my application. He stayed for a long time, preparing himself for the information he was going to give me like one who was preparing to announce to a youngman that his bride had died in a motor accident. I saw the handwriting on the wall. After

fidgeting with many things on the table, he finally began 'You are highly qualified for the job', he said. My heart skipped a beat.

You are highly qualified for the job' he repeated only one thing bothers me though.' I didn't talk. "You have been out of job for seven years and you've stayed incommunicado for reasons which

you know. There is only one vacancy here and I have fourteen applications from those who have completed their National Youth Corps Service. Three other application are from University

graduates who have had research experience in the Agricultural Sciences. You did not have research experience because of the seven years. The Lake Chad Research Institute considers research experience as very significant in the employment of staff into the Research Section. This is my dilemma over your case. If I tell

you that you have any chance of getting this employment, I wouldn't be telling you the truth,' he concluded tragically.

My hope crumbled before me like a pack of cards. I thanked him for telling me the truth and told him that I was going to check on other employers and see if I could secure a job. Which employer do you have in mind?' he asked. I had to confess that I didn't particularly have any employer in mind, and that I was a new man in town who did not know anybody. I am going to give you a letter to MOHAMMED ALI,' he said. Who is MOHAMED ALI?" I asked.

The Director smiled 'Now I am convinced that you are a new man in town. Everybody knows MOHAMMED ALI' he said. 'I am going to give you a letter to MOHAMMED ALI' he said again 'MOHAMMED ALI is the proprietor and Managing director of ALI Group of Companies. He is my friend.' I told him I would be very happy if he

me a letter to MOHAMMED ALI 'I am going to give you the letter now, but I have to warn you about many things' he said. MOHAMMED ALI is a Nigerian with an Iranian wife. He is a Shiite Muslim, a Muslim fundamentalist. I could not see why the Director needed to warn me about this. I was to see what he meant later. When you go to the office of MOHAMMED ALI, do not dress in an irresponsible way.' he said. If you go there with what you are presently wearing, you would be bundled into the cell like a thief. Do not go there with a girl.

The sight of you with a girl automatically denies you a job in his company. Do not laugh in a loud manner even if the funniest thing is being said. He will say you are irresponsible and rough. Do not be angry even if you are provoked. He will call you an impatient man. MOHAMMED ALI regards

impatient people as animals. If you are taking this letter to him, make sure you are there before he arrives in his office. There is a beautiful woman in his office-by the right hand side as you enter

who is always busy on her typewriter. That is his

wife. As you enter his office, do not look in her direction even for a second. You will loose your chance of securing a job if you look at her even for a second: MOHAMMED ALI is the most jealous

man in the universe. Do not interrupt MOHAMMED ALI when he is addressing you. That would amount to suicide. If MOHAMMED ALI slaps you, do not say anything.... This was when I interrupted him. I told him my temper was too terrible to tolerate such things, and that I was not going to look for any job in MOHAMMED ALI's Company. Saying this, I told him not to bother about giving me any letter to MOHAMMED ALI.

'A job in Sheik Umar's office is worth it. He will pay you not less than a N1000 naira monthly

with a free car and accommodation." My heart missed three beats unbelievably. I had not seen money for a long time, and the idea of N1000 a month sent me mad. For all I know, no company can pay a graduate the sum of N400 per month. One thousand naira! If I could receive such a huge amount for even five months, I would become a successful businessman.

I told the director that he should give me the letter introducing me to MOHAMMED ALI. That I will do,' he said but remember the following: 'Do not wear smiles. MOHAMMED ALI will think it is directed at his wife. Nobody argues with MOHAMMED ALI. He is always right. If he calls you an imbecile, accept it. The shoe you are wearing now is a mockery. MOHAMMED ALI does not allow anybody to dirty the rug in his office with his bad shoe. Do not

venture into his office with your present outfit. He will mistake you for a mad man. MOHAMMED ALI is a puritan. He is an honest man. Do not 'show any sign of dishonesty, that would sound your

funeral knell. Do not do any impure thing. And this is very important:

If you have any serious misunderstanding with MOHAMMED ALI, do not think you have protection under the law. You do

not have protection: I protested against this and told the Director that as far as I was aware, I had protection under the law even if it were a case involving myself and the President of the country. Take that warning seriously' he said you do not have any protection under the law if you clash with MOHAMMED ALI. I weighed the matter again. Although I had been jailed wrongly by a court, this was the first time someone told me that I did

not have protection under the law. Our system guarantees protection for everybody' I told him. That is true he said. The protection does not extend to you in any case involving you and

MOHAMMED ALI. If it involves you with me, you may have protection. You do not have it with MOHAMMED ALI.

I started to wonder whether it was wise' for me to look for job in the office of this dreadful man called MOHAMMED ALI. The Director gave me time to think. I thought for about ten minutes

d decided that the monthly pay in MOHAMMED ALI's office was too big to miss. One more thing' he said 'Do not smoke cigarette any longer. Do not drink alcohol. Abstain from women. If you slip in any of these things, you will loose your job even if you are employed