Chapter 1

I had my head on Alice's lap, watching her as she watched the TV. I couldn't help it; I wanted to kiss her, to feel those soft pump lips on my skin. I sat up and shifted in my spot, trying to find the words to say how I felt about her. I scanned her face. Her perfect blue eyes, that always shone when she smiled, her adorable button nose, her perfectly groomed blonde eyebrows, her-

Alice leaned in and kissed me, her lips pressing against mine and staying there a few moments before she moved back. She tasted sweet, like the sweetest strawberry lipgloss.

"I've always wanted to do that." She spoke, our lips now mere inches apart. My heart raced, beating out of my chest.

I moved forward, swopping in for another kiss. Our breaths wove together as we moved closer until our lips touched, sparking a connection between us that I've always wanted. As our tongues touched, Alice's hand gently ran up my bare skin, her fingertips like electricity.

"Mali." She whispered my name under her breath. "I love you too." Her eyes stared intently into mine as her perfectly manicured nails unbuttoned my pants before unzipping the zipper. "Make love to me, Mali." She leaned in for another kiss as her finger gently touched my public hair.

"Mali!! Malli!!" I was shaken awake, taken out of my dream by Alice, who was bouncing on my bed, barely missing any of my body parts with her jumps.

"What? What?!" I covered my eyes with my arm, trying to keep the sun from the widow out of them.

"It's time to wake up, sleepyhead." Alice finally plopped down on the bed next to me.

"I regret inviting you over for a sleepover now." I groaned, turning over on my side to face her better.

"No, you don't. You love me." She smiled widely.

"Yeah, yeah. Guess I do. But I still don't understand why we had to have a sleepover if we're going to be dormmates tomorrow."

"Cause I wanted to have one last sleepover before we're off to college." Alice shrugged, her blond hair falling off her shoulder. "I have a surprise for you, Mali. You just need to get up and dressed."

"And shower. And eat." I rolled over onto my back. "Mom!" I called out, hoping she was still home.

"She's already gone." Alice shook her head. "I went down while you were asleep to see if she'd make us some breakfast."

"Doesn't surprise me." I sighed, knowing damn well I was too lazy to make my own meal today. "Well, I need a shower." I got out of bed and walked into the hallway and then into the bathroom. As I began to shower, I couldn't help as my mind went to my dream. I wish that it could've been real, or at the very least I would've been able to finish it, to see where it had gone.

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I leaned back in the seat and took a bite out of my rice cake breakfast. "So, where're we going?"

"Firstly we're going to Starbucks." Alice tapped on the steering wheel happily.

"Sure, but after that, what's this surprise you were telling me about?"

"Wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, now would it?"

I sighed dramatically, before moving on. "You excited to start school?"

"I'm excited to move out of my parents' house, at least." She smiled faintly.

"Agreed. I'm excited to have my own space, well, sort of, since I'm still sharing it with you."

"But you wouldn't want it any other way, now would you, Mali?"

"Nope." I laughed. "It's some much needed space between my mom and me." I turned to face her as we pulled into the drive-through.

Alice made sure I wanted my usual black coffee before ordering her usual overly complicated one. After getting both drinks, she handed me mine and set hers in the cup holder. I placed my drink next to hers, as it was still much too hot to drink. We left the drive-through and got back on the road before resuming our conversation.

"Are you nervous at all, Mali?"

"Yes and no." I shrugged. "I'm less nervous about classes as I am about making friends and the other people. High school was bad enough, so I really don't need anyone else hating me."

"It's just because we went to such a small school that you were picked on so much. College will be better, I promise. Maybe you can even get yourself a boyfriend."

Or girlfriend. I wanted to say but kept it to myself. I was terrified to tell her that I'm bi, in case that'd make my crush on her more obvious. "Don't start with this again." I sighed, finally saying something.

"My girl has got to lose her virginity sooner or later."

"I'm in no rush." I shrugged. "If it happens, it happens; if not, it doesn't." My eyes widened as we took a turn into a neighborhood. Josh's neighborhood. "We better not be going to Josh's house, Alice."

"Maybe." She guiltily smiled. "But trust me, it'll be worth it."

We finally arrived at his house. It was a small place, only big enough for two people, but it was perfect for him. Alice had spent plenty of time here, but I had only been a handful of times. I didn't exactly think he was a good influence on Alice, though Alice isn't exactly free of being a bad influence of her own.

We got out of the car and walked up to the door. Alice rang the doorbell, and after a few moments, a shirtless Josh pulled the door open. He smirked and leaned against the doorframe after seeing us. He looked like he had just woken up.

"We're here to pick up the things we bought from your friend." Alice spoke quietly, no doubt being vague on purpose.

"Come on in." He moved out to the doorway and let us shuffle inside, while he disappeared to the back of his house.

"What'd you get from one of his sketchy friends, Alice?" I looked over at her, questioning her motives of our trip.

"You'll see soon enough." She smiled widely, looking in the direction Josh had disappeared in rather than looking at me.

Josh appeared once more and handed Alice something, but I couldn't see what. "You two are looking nice today." He looked us both up and down, lingering on me for a few extra seconds. I shifted uncomfortably under his gaze, wrapping my arm over my body to cover my stomach. "We should hang out tonight before you girls head off to college."

"We have plans, but we should hangout sometime." Alice agreed, all smiles. I wasn't sure why she was being so chummy with her ex, but then again they mostly broke up so she could party at college to the fullest extent.

Eventually, we left the fuckpad and headed back into the car, where I told Alice to tell me what she had gotten us. Alice opened her hand, showing off two, no doubt, fake IDs. "Now we can go out partying and drink." Alice smiled wickedly.

"That sounds like a terrible idea, Alice, but I don't want you to go by yourself, so I guess I'll go to babysit you." I sighed deeply.

Alice let out a happy shriek, moving over in the driver's seat to kiss my cheek. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" She moved back to fully face the wheel and turned her Mini on. "In that case, I think it means it's time to go shopping."

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I stepped out of the dressing room to show my dress off to Alice, who was trying one of her own. "You look amazing, Alice."

Alice smiled and did a little twirl before looking back at me and pouting at my choice. "Will you ever wear anything other than black?"

"I like black." I looked down at the dress. I felt fine in it, but nothing special. I had told her I could wear one of the lace slips I had thrifted, but she insisted I needed something new to stand out. Not that I really wanted to stand out, though.

"I know. You're just my little goth." She tilted her head to the side with a smile. "Malia the goth."

I rolled my eyes, a small smile on my own face.

"Okay, you have to try on the dress I picked now. You promised you would."

"I will." I nodded, looking at it, before walking back into the dressing room and closing the door behind me. I stripped down, watching myself in the mirror. I was more on the chubby size, especially compared to Alice's supermodel body, but at least I have a nice hourglass figure. I like my curves; I like my body even if I do sometimes feel inferior to Alice.

I inspected myself in the mirror, not really feeling like myself with bleached blonde hair, feeling more like a bad clone of Alice than myself. Tonight, before we head off to college, Alice is going to dye my hair for me. We're going bright orange this time. That'll make me feel more like myself again.

I pulled the lowcut silver sequin clubbing dress on, admiring myself in the mirror. It's definitely out of my normal comfort zone, but I can't deny it looks good. Then again, Alice is always right when it comes to fashion. I walked out, showing the new dress off to Alice. She shrieked, no doubt excited to see me in something different.

"It's perfect!" She clapped her hands together, looking me up and down. "Mali, I love it!"

I searched for the price tag before finally finding it. "Alice, I can't afford it."

"I'll just buy it." She shrugged, the large smile still on her face.

I walked back into the dressing room, changing into my normal clothes. It wasn't unusual for Alice to buy me things, in fact she almost buys everything for me whenever we're out together. She gets an allowance from her rich parents so it's no issue for her and she's been doing it as long as we've been friends, but I still feel bad about it sometimes. I'm excited to get a job and pay for my own things, even though I know I'll be swamped with classes, homework, and work.

Finally dressed, I walked out and met up with Alice. We purchased the dressed before heading back out into the mall.

"I wanna get some new lingerie while we're here. Anything you need."

"I want to get the two outer helix piercings and my piercer is near here." I suggested, hoping she'd be okay with it. "If we have time to do it, that is."

"Sure! I love watching you get pierced!" She smiled, booking her arm in mine.

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I flipped down the mirror and inspected myself in it. My ear still hurt, but nothing too bad. If anything, I had bled more than I expected, making that the main issue with it. Between my new dye job and the piercings, I felt like I could rule the world. I turned from side to side, inspecting my piercings. I had three lobe piercings on each side and my tragus pierced on my right ear, as well as the two new ones on my left ear. Now all I had left to get was the rook piercing on my right ear. I also wanted one facial piercing but was waiting to be out of the house for that one, as I knew my mom would hate it.

I looked over as we arrived at the club, Alice pulling into a parking spot. We both got out of the car and adjusted our new dressed. We didn't have to wait long in line, getting let in ahead of some other people who didn't seem all too happy with that. I just hoped we wouldn't get hurt by them because of something out of our control.

Alice first made her way to the bar, me following after her. She bought us both a drink. I wasn't much for drinking due to my dad being an alcoholic, but I didn't want to be rude, so I planned on just nursing it through the night.

After a bit of time, Alice ended up ditching me for some guy who had asked her to dance, leaving me with her drink. I didn't mind too much, I was pretty use to it to be honest. I love Alice, both as a friend and more, admittedly, but she has a bad habit of devoting her life to men, both good and bad ones. Basically anyone who'll give her the time of day, which makes me sad to see.

I sighed and started over to one of the tables, both our drinks in hand. I was hoping to find a dark corner and just scroll through Instagram the rest of the night. Everything was fine until I clipped my elbow on someone walking in the opposite direction. I looked over at them with wide eyes and sincere apologies before realizing it was Johnny.

"Oh."

"Oh?" He flashed me a sideways smile. "You apologize until you realize it's me?"

"Sorry." I chewed on my lip. "Did I--did spill your drink on you?" I looked at his half-full drink.

"Yeah."

I quickly started patting down his chest and stomach with the napkins I was holding. "I'm so sorry. I'll buy you another one."

"You doing this is enough repayment." He smirked, causing me to stop.

"I--I'll go get you a drink." I waited for him to tell me what he wanted before returning to the bar, struggling to carry the third drink. I returned to Johnny, who had found a table, allowing me to set the drinks down.

"Sit." He motioned towards one of the stools. I waited a moment before sitting down reluctantly. I had only talked to Johnny by myself once, and all he did was compliment my breasts.

"Uh…here you go." I pushed the drink in his direction, looking away over to the rest of the club.

"I'm surprised to see you at a place like this. Always took you for a good girl, Malia." Johnny leaned in as he spoke. I could feel his breath against my neck.

"I'm just here to babysit Alice." I responded shortly.

"Doesn't surprise me." Johnny laughed. "You know, I like this new hair on your better. You look like your own person more than you did this morning."

"I…agree." I looked over at him, not helping myself from staring into his deep brown eyes. I quickly looked away again as my phone vibrated. It was Alice telling me she was going home with the bloke who had asked her to dance. I sighed before informing Johnny.

"How're you getting home since you don't drive?" I looked back over him to see him raise a pierced eyebrow.

"Even if I did, Alice took the keys." I took a deep breath. "Guess I'll just Uber back home."

"That's not safe." He shook his head. "Why don't you let me drive you home."

"I…" I trailed off, thinking about the percentage of me getting murdered by Johnny compared to a stranger. At least if Johnny did it, it was more likely he'd be caught since I knew him. Or so I assumed. "Fine. I don't really like the idea of Ubering alone anyways."

"Come on." Johnny placed his drink down and stood up. I followed him out of the club and to where his matte black EVO was parked.

I couldn't help the noise that came out of me.

"What was that?" He glanced back at me with a smile.

"I, uh. I just like your car. I always have."

"I like a girl who fucks with cars." His smile turned to a smirk before he unlocked it and got it. I did the same, rolling my eyes as I got in.

He started driving after I gave him the address, and he plugged it into his phone. I looked over at him, admiring the tattoos on his arms and the dagger on his face. Though it was a bit…generic, it looked good on him. He glanced over at me, catching me staring and smiled.

"Like what you see, Mali?"

"I was just looking at your tattoos." I held my hands up. "I like them. I got a few when I turned eighteen, but want more."

"Sounds like you want in my pants with all these compliments, girly." His smiled turned to a wolfish smirk.

"I'd never sleep with my best friend's ex." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"She wouldn't have to know." He chuckled.

After some time we arrived at my house. He let me get out and made sure I made it up to the door before whistling and driving off with his loud exhaust, no doubt waking up all my neighbors. I sighed before unlocking the door, finding my younger brother still awake, playing Call of Duty on the living room TV. Mom wouldn't let him take his consoles in his room after one of the kids became a shut-in after she let them do that. That person being me…

"Mom's still awake. You know she can't sleep when you're out." He called out to me, taking his headset off one ear.

I shrugged at him before walking upstairs and into my room. Only the bare bones were left, due to the rest being backed in the moving truck along with Alice's stuff. I plopped down on the bed, not able to think about anything but Alice going home with a stranger. Feeling like Mr. Brightside. I wished she wouldn't go home with strangers, jealousy aside, for her own safety, but I knew she wouldn't change her mind without something terrible happening.

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