CH ONE: bird fallen from the nest

We were sitting in our white plastic chairs on our porch,the leaves in our front yard jaundiced and dried up.An abundance of ant gnawing away at a fallen bit of cookie. Dad chugged down a half pint of his personal favourite bronsky liquor brand,which he bought from down the street ,from Mrs.bronsky,a plump cheery woman with two front teeth missing.Her husband-or maybe my dad- might me the reason for that:he was the one she cheated on her husband with,and when the guy found out he lost his mind and knocked out both Mrs.brosky and also punched my dad so hard on his right side of the face that he lost his hearing in that ear

"Aye son,you ought to get out of here,and when you do get settled somewhere take me with ya too,dont leave me." He pushed his left side of the face towards me,waiting for a response.

I signed."Fine,I'll apply for that job position,but there's no guarantee i will get to visit you tho once i get in,i will not be able to get out of that castle easily."I added annoyance to my tone."who would carry you passed out drunk on the pathway,or feed you cause you haven't learned to cook a single damn thing except for those awful burnt smelling fried eggs."

He hicuped.His face was flushed now."I'll do something,i ain't handicap."After a long reminiscent pause."Your mama was like you,stubborn and headstrong.She wanted a daughter,wanted to dress her up in glittery lacy frocks and pretty clips and bows,but then she got you.She was happy of course and still dressed you as a girl because she had already bought all them dresses.Nobody knew you were a boy,your mama boasted that her little boy was prettier than all the girl in the whole country.But then you started to grow bigger and bigger and everyone got to know,her boasts still didn't back down tho she still went on and on about her son being the most handsomest in the country.Some woman taunted at her for her shamelessness.None tha less her praises for you just grew much more."  Most aunties in the marketplace seem to give me freebies whenever i go to buy any food there,and talked high about their pure innocent daughter and how they would make such good wives. Little did they know,i had  absolutely no interest in women.And i didn't dare tell dad.

"What i am tryna say is you are a man,you should be more responsible now, go protect your country and leave this dirty little town with good for nothing people.You may have a face of damsel but you ain't gonna become no damsel in distress." Dad didn't know that our country was well provided.No wars were being threatened to be fought.This was Kazarwa,the second most powerful country in the world,it would be  as if rivers were trying to overthrow the vast ocean.But being a guard in the castle paid good,so it wasn't a bad opportunity.

Next day,i went on and filled out the papers,was called in for a health examination,checked in my height,made me read from a eye chart,had my blood tested for any possible sexual diseases.The checker was a female,which made me extremely uncomfortable and other a bit too cheerful.It also makes matters worse that mine examination lasted the longest.But on the bright side,i got a letter with a stamp ,i was officially selected.

On the way home,i secretly got on a bus,i would hide away in the sweat clumps of people,and then swish out unnoticed.All that running those days didn't account for nothing.

It was dark outside and inside.Dad was snoring,the house reeked of booze,smoke and grit.He could have atleast cleaned something.His laziness was beyond me.I swished around the house and cleaned away the dishes in the sink,put his clothes in the laundry,made his bed and shifted him onto there-I might have thrown a bit too hard- and then prepared broth with vegetables for night.The house was quite except for the singing of the nightingale,she sang a melancholic song.Ot maybe i imagined it to be. Tomorrow i would leave.This small disintegrating nameless town.And also my stupid dad,who had beed deadbeat for most my life,and for whom i had developed contradicting feelings,both of distinct love and personal hate.I hummed a song he always sang when he had been absolutely wasted.Good fucking bye.