I'll Let You Go Part 2

Word Count: 1365

Pairings: Lucifer Morningstar x Reader

Warnings: angst, fluff, kinda sad fluff

A/N: requested from a lot people and thank you all so much for helping with idess for this! Really it means a lot to me, I honestly can't thank you all enough.

Summary: You weren't yourself anymore, your smiles had ceased long ago, your cheerful disposition had disappeared so many years ago. He felt it, he knew something wasn't right, that something had changed, he just didn't know how bad it truly was.............................................................

It had been months, six months to be exact, since Chloe and Lucifer had decided it was best to keep their relationship professional. At first Lucifer assumed the ache in his chest was simply from that, but as time went on it grew. The ache turned into a pounding, then to a horrible feeling of hopelessness. It didn't take him long to realize that it was not in fact from the break up, nor was it his own feeling. This foreign, dark feeling belonged to someone else, who though, he didn't know.

Lucifer sat in his chair, chin resting on his palm as he swirled the amber liquid in his cup. His gaze was on the wall opposite from where he sat. But he wasn't looking at the wall, not really, his mind wandered, and he was so lost in his thoughts. He almost didn't notice when someone entered the room. His entire demeanor changed when he saw who it was though.

"Mazikeen!"

Lucifer stood, smiling when he saw his demon companion. Maze offered him a smile of her own, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Is something wrong? How did you get back?"

Maze walked over to the bar, pouring herself a drink, before she turned to face him.

"Y/N brought me with her."

"Oh lovely, is she here?"

"Somewhere..." Maze muttered.

Lucifer frowned at that.

"Somewhere? Don't tell me the great bounty hunter Mazikeen Smith lost one measly angel." Lucifer teased.

"She just left! I have no idea where she is, or what she's doing!" Maze huffed.

Lucifer raised an eyebrow at her annoyed expression.

"You mean, our darling Y/N, the kindest being ever created, ditched you?" Lucifer chuckled.

When Maze looked down, clearly upset, Lucifer's smile dropped. Something wasn't right.

"Maze?"

"She's changed Lucifer, she isn't who she used to be."

"It's only been six months, surely she couldn't have changed that much yes?"

Maze raised an eyebrow, giving Lucifer a skeptical look.

"Six months is almost a century in Hell, Lucifer, you know that, she might not have changed too much in six months but a century is enough time to change anyone. That's actually why I'm here."

~

You lifted the bottle in your hand to get a better look inside, sighing when you found it was empty. Your gaze fell back on the people gathered around the parking lot. To your misfortune you had stumbled upon a murder, stumbled as in you were heavily intoxicated and literally  stumbled into the victim. Just in time to see the murderer fleeing.

"Can I leave now?"

Chloe looked up from her notepad at you.

"We still have some questions to ask you Y/N." She gave you an apologetic smile.

You had always liked Chloe, even after that whole thing with her and Lucifer, which you had learned from Amenadiel was no longer a thing. In fact, you had come to earth to see how Lucifer was doing. However, when you did see him, you never managed to actually tell him you were there, the pain from last time to real.

"Then I need another drink, my buzz is wearing off." You muttered.

You ignored the worried look Chloe gave you when you tossed the bottle aside. You began searching your pockets, hoping you still had a blunt left from last night.

"Sorry I'm late, you'll never believe who popped in for a visit though!"

Your entire body went rigid when you heard that all too familiar voice. You could feel your heart beating so fast you were afraid it would jump out of your chest. You prayed he wouldn't notice you, of course that was a useless thing to pray.

"Y/N?"

A string of curses left your mouth and you lifted your head to meet Lucifer's shocked gaze.

"Oh... hi Lucifer..."

"What in dad's name are you doing here?"

"She witnessed the murder, we had questions for her, but we can always call her if we have anymore. You can go now." Chloe said.

You nodded and wasted no time walking away as quickly as you could. You had hoped to get as far away from Lucifer as possible, but you really should have known he'd follow you.

"Where are you off to in such a rush my dear?"

Lucifer stepped in front of you, causing you to nearly crash into him. You took a few steps back, trying to put some distance between the two of you.

"I'm starting to sober up, I need to find something to kill the annoying feeling I have."

That caught him off guard, your voice was so monotone, so devoid of your usual cheer.

"Sober up? Darling, are you... ?"

You gave him a lazy shrug.

"Not anymore, give me a few more minutes and I might be "

You tried to walk away again but once again, he blocked your path.

"If you insist on drinking then come to Lux, at least then you'll have some good alcohol to consume, rather than that tasteless liquid from a dive bar." Lucifer offered.

~

It had taken quite a bit of convincing from him before you finally agreed to go with him. Even then you hardly looked at him, barely spoke. When you did your eyes seemed so dull, so lifeless, and your voice was almost robotic.

Lucifer watched you poor yourself another glass, he'd lost count of how many that was now. He was tempted to stop you. He had nothing against drinking, or partying, or anything you had been doing, it was Lucifer after all, he did all that on a daily. However, watching you do it, seeing you tear yourself apart like that, it broke him a little.

"Y/N, what are you doing?"

You looked up from your drink, furrowing your eyebrows at him.

"What?"

"This isn't like you, I've never known you to run to the bottle darling."

The laugh you gave him was so dry and cruel it shocked him.

"Well when in Rome right Luci?"

Confusion was etched in his expression and you shrugged halfheartedly.

"It's how a lot of humans deal with heartache isn't it? I just want a little reprieve for a bit."

Suddenly, it all made sense, the feeling of dread, the overwhelming sense of despair, it wasn't from him. It was from you. He was feeling your pain, and it was awful.

"What happened to you love? Why are you acting like this?" Lucifer frowned.

He almost expected you not to answer, and when you did, he had no words.

"You didn't want me."

Your voice was so quiet he almost didn't hear you, but he did and his eyes filled with regret.

"I was made for you Lucifer, made to love you, to be with you, but I wasn't good enough for you."

You sat the cup down, untouched. Your supernatural metabolism had already sobered you up fairly quickly, but you had lost all urge to drink again.

"? Is that what you think?"

He sounded angry, which made you look at him in confusion.

"It wasn't that you weren't good enough, I wanted to choose my own path, one dear old dad hadn't chosen for me."

"But you..."

Your words seemed to fail you and Lucifer walked closer to you.

"You were good enough for me Y/N, to good even. I just wanted the freedom to choose who I loved. I never intended to hurt you like this, forgive me."

You hesitated to reply and Lucifer gave you a reassuring smile.

"I've got quite a way to go in terms of apologies my dear, I don't expect you to forgive me right away."

A small smile pulled at your lips, it had been so long since you had smiled.

"Might take a few years, maybe more, you'll have to really work for it if you want me to forgive you."

"Well then I suppose it's a good thing eternity is an awfully long time that does mean you'll have to stay for a while, so, I can apologize of course." Lucifer smirked.

A small, but genuine smile played on your lips and Lucifer was joyed to see how your eyes lit up.

"Of course."