Chapter 12: Drifting Off

I was back at the Mind Palace. My heart quickened and my eyes sharpened when I recognized my surroundings. I expected the same clocks and brains. They weren't there.

The feeling was the same, but it didn't look the same. It was a red sea with windows of my previous loops. There were no brains or clocks.

Inside the Mind Palace, I felt a familiarity. This wasn't the old man's palace.

Might it be mine? I looked around and saw my current self. I was still asleep. The cave was silent and dark with barely enough light to see me through the window screen.

I waited there until I saw the sun brighten the entrance of the cave. As I saw myself start to roll and turn out of my slumber. I felt a pull.

***

I opened my eyes and saw the inside of the cave. I wondered what I was dreaming about. The dream was foggy. I felt a haze in my mind as I tried to remember. I started to grow worried about why that was.

No matter what I tried, I couldn't remember a damn thing about what the contents of that dream were. It was nagging at the front of my mind. I was highly fixated on this, largely due to a deep-rooted fear of not being in control. Zothozeft and the old man had done a number on me. My arm shivered when I remembered all the moments when I couldn't even control a millimeter's distance worth of movement.

I dismissed thinking about those moments. I wondered if memories of dreams would be included in that old man's mind palace.

I didn't have the slightest idea of how to enter it. Additionally, there was the added risk of losing my mind again. It was too risky just to learn what happened in a dream. If it was truly important, it'd appear again. And when that happens, I'll make sure I keep it rooted at the forefront of my mind and won't forget it again.

With that in mind, I set out to gather food. Water was gathered by boiling a canister of water with a spell. The spell used was [Tryma's Scorch] and with the many times Zothozeft invaded and perverted my mind, I could use that spell with a simple Sol symbol.

It left an uncomfortable and sickening feeling but without magic, I'd be left powerless. I hated that feeling of powerlessness and the feeling of not being in control more than that uncomfortable feeling of using Zothozeft's magic system.

After gathering a small number of the ever-increasing beasts situated in this forest due to the battle between Hyftri and Solteq, I cooked and ate the parts that looked like the pieces that were sold in the markets back when I used to pass by them. It was edible.

After the sun started to set, I prepared the patch of ground I would sleep on. I lay on the patch of ground, ready to sleep, and started to drift off.

***

The atmosphere was hazy, but I had a feeling it was the same dream as last time. I focused on my surroundings and scrutinized each part of it.

The red-hued sea with the multiple screens of my previous loops. This was strikingly like the old man's palace. I started to feel anxious and worried about losing control again.

I felt a sense of Déjà vu and figured it must have been that the same situation was repeating itself. I shook off the nervousness and saw a screen of this loop. I saw myself sleeping. A feeling to turn my hand counterclockwise, kind of how the old man showed me previous memories and saw the loop rewind. That proved it. I somehow gained a mind palace. I couldn't figure out why and how.

A possibility might be that after killing the old man I gained a fragment of his mind palace. The aspect of memories couldn't go unowned so it might be that after the old man got erased from the cycle, I got either a fragment of the whole of his powers. I wasn't an elder spirit, or I didn't think I was. So, I gained a fragment of his powers since I was in a body that couldn't handle the full brunt of it.

With the most likely possibility of what happened, I spent my time watching the previous loops for research. The mind palace had no screens on before I entered the new world though. That was a bit saddening, but it just pushed me further to try and gain them. An idea popped into my head after that thought.

'With the old man dead, I could find his corpse, which was also a planet, and siphon more of his powers. It would take a specific ritual that is pretty hard to complete though… That doesn't matter. I'll still need enough power to reach that planet though. In total… Three rituals. I'll need to modify a ritual meant for great spirits to make me into a regular spirit. I'll work on that before I start working on any of the others.'

I made a skeleton of a plan and steeled myself for what was about to come soon.

Through the screen, I saw a whisper of light coming from the entrance of the cave. I felt a pull. I opened my eyes.

***

I groggily woke up. I then remembered what I just experienced which sharpened my sleepy and hazy mind.

I focused on what I just dreamt of, making sure I wouldn't forget it, and recollected my theory and plan.

I took the canister and went out of the cave. It was a new day. The forest was looking worse than ever.

I'd decided that I'd end this loop to set up the circumstances under which I'd be able to steal Solteq's corpse without Hyftri noticing. With Zothozeft and the old man gone, most of my problems vanished on this specific planet.

'Even if Solteq wins, I'll just use Hyftri's corpse.' I assured myself that I'd control all possibilities to make sure nothing unexpected happened.

I made an Eclipse symbol with my right hand. I brought it up to the bottom of my head. I looked like shooting myself with a finger gun.

I shot out the spell. The crescent must have sliced my head in half. I blacked out before that though.

Loop: 33