Chapter 25-Family

I hadn't visited Dr. Taemin's for ages. He and I keep contact through messages then and there. He sees the statuses I post with my friends. 

Keep moving Mae, never stop.

His advice was always helpful and he himself was such a calming figure. I wondered if all doctors were that quiet and decent. I was lying on my bed with my grandpa's flute on my chest. If Soochul was here, would he still like to play flutes? There were still many unanswered questions. I stopped fiddling with the flute as I heard a soft knock on the door. 

"Come in", I said.

"Hey", Dad came in and sat down on my bed. 

"Hi dad" I replied and looked at him inquiringly. 

He clenched his hands awkwardly and said, "How has your um… work been all this time Mae?"

Dad usually never indulges in sit-and-have-a-talk sessions. He is the sort of person to SAY things, not to DISCUSS. Maybe he did, with his students but never at home. If there was someone who did those things, it was uncle Wen. He'd always take time to discuss and figure out things….together. 

"Did uncle send you?" I asked. 

Dad sighed, "I guess it's very obvious".

I laughed, "Yeah, I mean, when do you ever take time to ask such questions?"

"I'll do it more often in the future then", He said smiling back. "I'm sorry I didn't take time to go through things with you Mae. I know it's been really very difficult, with all that's been happening. Both of us had things to deal with. But….I feel like I've been over-absorbed with my things only…and for too long. So, I just wanted to come talk to you, father to daughter…."

"That's….very sweet of you dad", I said and reached out to pinch his cheek. "But, I still feel like you've rehearsed this entire conversation".

"Ugh, I'm very bad at this", He said, rubbing his eyes. 

"Hey, no…you did it well, actually", I said. 

"Really?"

"But I was right?"

"Yes, yes", Dad smiled, "Your stupid uncle had to teach me that and something about Moana… something related to stitches…..?

I laughed, "You mean, ohana?"

"Right that!" Dad said, "What does it mean again?"

I couldn't help laughing for ages. Me and my uncle are very loyal disney fans and I remember every single Disney movie I've ever watched. And I know that Moana had nothing much to do with families or stitches. But….I knew that Lilo and Stitch did. And I also remember what Nani taught Lilo about family. 

I reached out and took my dad's face into my hands. 

"Ohana means family", I said, "And family means nobody gets left behind ... .or forgotten".

He stared at me for a few moments before saying, "You know, it makes a greater impact when you say it Mae".

"That's because I'm your daughter", I said. "And to answer your concerns. I'm fine, dad. I know you needed your own space after what happened with mom. And I needed some 'me time' after what happened at campus. I'm glad that we've both managed to work through it finally. I'm sorry too, I should've checked on you. I always feel like I'm a burden to you dad…because you look after me all the time, by yourself and that's difficult".

"Don't say that", Dad said and hugged me. 

"I want to help you but I don't know how", I said as I felt tears rising. 

He pulled me away so he could face me, "What I need right now, is someone to comfort me and stay by my side whenever I need help. And that's what you can do Mae. You will never ever be a burden to me alright?"

I nodded sniffing, "I still hate mom though".

"That's understandable," Dad said. 

Extra- Forgotten memories

Little Sun-Hee ran barefoot. 

Her rosy feet softly padding the green grass. The air was sweet and cool against her face. She turned her head and looked back. He wasn't following her.

She cupped her hands around her mouth. 

"Soochul!"

No response. 

Where is he? Sun-Hee whipped her head around searching the surroundings for her big brother. He was right behind her, playing catch. The Sakura trees around her blew out in blooms of pink. It was April and the trees were flowering. One flower landed near her foot and reached down to pick it up. 

A branch snapped. Sun-Hee got up with the flower in her little hands. 

"Soochul?"

Since no one replied, she started to feel alone and anxious. This wasn't her kingdom. Her parents had stuffed her into a too fluffy hanbok, thrown her into a carriage along with her brother and brought her to this place. It had big walls, guards, pretty maids, a flowering garden…but it wasn't her home. This was far from home. She and Soochul were chased out of the hall so that the adults could discuss. 

"Soochul, take Sun-Hee and go play", Her mother had smiled as Soochul took her hand, "Don't go too far alright?"

And just like that, they were playing catch. And now her brother was nowhere to be seen. 

"Mommy?" Sun-Hee called out in fear. 

She had gone too far. What if her brother couldn't find her? What if they left without her? 

Tears blotched her eyes. 

"Soochul!" Her voice broke. No reply again. Wind whistled aggressively throwing leaves and flowers into her face. 

That's it. She started bawling. Tears dripping down her face onto her pink dress. She sniffled loudly, wiping her tears and walking aimlessly among the trees. 

Another branch broke. She hiccupped and turned back. 

"Why are you crying?"

Her body was still shuddering with sobs, but she managed to catch a glimpse of the stranger in front of her. It was a young boy, maybe a few years older than her. Despite his age, he looked quite composed and mature. With raven black hair blowing all over his snow-white face. He was dressed in full black. The silver earring on his left ear tinkled. He had a cold face, but at the sight of her snot and tear dripping face he was taken back. 

Sun-Hee stared at his earring, fascinated. 

"Are you a maid's kid?" He asked, seeing her entrapped face. 

Sun-Hee didn't know who he was, and she was lost and confused. All she could do was to shake her head. 

"What are you doing here?" The boy stepped closer, "Where's your mother, little girl?"

Mommy…..

At the thought of her mother, she started bawling again. 

"Oowah! Mommy!"

The boy stepped forward startled at her sudden break out. 

"Hey…."

If his father saw this, he's going to think he bullied her. 

"Hey…. Little girl" He came forward and rubbed off her tears with his sleeves. "Stop crying, let's go find your mother alright?"

She still wouldn't stop crying. He sighed. 

"Hang on"

He bent and lifted her onto his back like he was giving her a piggy-back ride. Soochul had always carried her around like this at home. Unconsciously she wrapped her hands around his neck. 

He was strong for his size. Sun-Hee sniffled and caught his earring in her fist. She didn't pull but admired it. The boy sighed in relief. At last, his ears had a break…they were about to burst. What with all this little girl's yowling. Even if she tore his earring out, he wouldn't mind. It was better than having her crying into his ears. He took her out of the garden near the meeting hall.

"Sun-Hee!" Soochul yelled. He had lost his little sister in the forest and had run back howling to his mother. The empress was currently in the process of calming down Soochul. He let go of her skirt and ran toward Sun-Hee. Soochul stopped at the sight of the new boy. The boy put her down and Sun-Hee ran at her brother and hugged him fiercely. 

"Boys don't cry", The new boy said at the sight of Soochul's tear blotched face. 

"I wasn't!" Soochul said.

The boy scoffed and was about to leave when the doors opened. Sun-Hee's father and another man came out. 

"Ha!" The man said, "My little Taehyun's already made friends!"

He bent down towards Sun-Hee and Soochul. 

"Hello there your highness"

Soochul even in a tearful state managed to keep his status. 

"Emperor Hoseok".

Sun Hee hid behind her brother. She didn't like this ugly man. 

Hoseok reached out to tap Sun-Hee's nose. She slapped his hand away. 

"Ugly man!"

The empress gasped. Taehyun snorted. Hoseok went purple.

Emperor Jung-Ho laughed, "She's still too little to know anything. Don't take it to heart".

Hoseok joined in his laugh. 

They bid their goodbyes after some time and boarded the carriages. Hoseok and Taehyun were standing at the foot of the hall as they were about to depart. And then Sun-Hee remembered something. She darted out of her brother's lap and stumbled onto the floor. 

"Sun-Hee!" The empress called. 

She still had that Sakura flower she picked up earlier in her hand. It was crushed but she managed to straighten the petals. She ran towards Taehyun. He had helped her. 

She reached her outstretched hand with the flower on her palm towards him. He was stunned. Seeing that didn't make a move to get it, she grabbed his hand and stuffed it into his fingers. 

The ugly man was still standing there. She didn't like his face for some reason.

Seeing her looking at him, Hoseok forced a smile onto his face. 

"Ugly man" She muttered and fled. 

Hoseok's face dropped. 

Taehyung stood there with the flower in his hand. 

It was an insignificant event. They were too young to remember any of that. As they grew up, the struggle between the two kingdoms worsened. It was pointless for both emperors to feign friendship any longer.