Chapter 03 - Acceptance

The last time I talked to Min Joon, he wasn't in a good mood. Nari and I rushed to the hospital almost the same moment we got to know that he was awake. I didn't expect a big reaction from him because he'd just woken up…but I didn't expect him to have no reaction at all. When I entered with Nari, Jacob was already in and maybe it was just for moment, but I swear I saw him smiling at Jacob. He turned into a whole different person when he saw me. 

But I can't postpone this further. I know he's already upset but keeping his hopes up would be another crime I'm not willing to commit. 

"I want to tell you something" I said one day. 

Min Joon was staring out of the window but managed a slight smile when I entered. That was a little better. 

"I'll be leaving this place tomorrow", He cut across. 

"Oh…"

I didn't know what to do with this sudden information, but it's good news. 

"That's great to hear", I said, "Finally…".

"How are you and Taeyang getting along?"

I was twisting my hands nervously this entire time but when I heard his question my heart dropped down my stomach.

"What do you mean?"

He didn't looked at my face. 

"Didn't you come here to tell me that you two are dating?" He said in his hoarse voice. "Isn't that what you came here for?"

"No…" I said. 

I took a deep breath. 

"I- came here to tell you that…you shouldn't keep your hopes in me. I think it's time for us to move on. I-I want to be with-".

"I love you", His voice cracked. 

I squeezed my eyes shut. 

"It'll pass…" I whispered back. 

I only remained there a second to see him clench the bed sheets. I ran out….

Why? Why couldn't I stay? 

Because I am a coward. I didn't want to face him. My guilt overwhelmed me. After all this….after everything we've been through, I actually had the guts to reject him. Was that right? We both died for each other once but now we're strangers. 

I chose the person who stood there watching me die while I rejected the person who sacrificed himself for me. But I did that too.

'I love you enough to let you go'

His words echoed in my head as I swiftly walked down the streets. I didn't know where to go or what to do. So I just walked. Back at the palace, I could never get lost no matter how much I walked. I'd always end up within the palace. But here…in this vast world, one could get lost easily. But right now, I didn't care where the roads led me. I just wanted to feel not guilty. 

He'll forget about me. I know he will, he's strong. 

And like I said…the Jae-Sung I knew was long gone. He wasn't Min Joon. He was kind, gentle, sweet and thoughtful.

 'I love my brother Sun-Hee. I'd do anything for him. Because that's how I am'.

But Min Joon….he's different. His entire personality was a whole new identity from the day I found him. Maybe that's why I didn't want to accept him…because he wasn't the person I used to know. 

But one thing hasn't changed….

'I love people recklessly' 

Even in this life he loved me knowing that he'd have to lose me one day. 

'I love you'

The easy he said those words to me like he didn't want to accept reality broke me. I've never seen him so broken before. 

I sniffled and flinched as a bus honked loudly. I looked around to realize that I had no idea where I was. Panic creeped in, washing away my guilt and sadness at once. 

Should I call my uncle? Dad?

A sudden wind blew past and a stray handout slapped my face. I grabbed it and despite everything, read it. 

  Which App Is Your Quickest Way To Love?

I gaped at it. 

 Good question, I thought pulling out my phone. But it's more like; Which Person Is Your Quickest Way to Love?

'When you're ready, I will come for you'

I heard the line click as my call was picked. 

"Taeyang, I'm lost".

"What? Lost?" He sounded concerned. 

"Uh…yes. I kind of took a walk and now I don't know where I am".

"Okay, so you have no idea which road or…" He lagged. 

"I just said I'm lost!" I yelled, "And- you told me to tell you when I'm ready. Well…I am re-"

"I'm coming", He cut in, "Read me some of the signs you see around you, or some shops".

"Uh…there's a Nike and Mac Donald's right next to each other", I said walking a bit further, "Oh wait- Oh there's a park! A big park!"

"Alright, stay there", He said, "I'm on my way".

I sighed and walked over to a bus stop. I hoped I wasn't troubling him. I'm pretty sure he's supposed to be at work.

Gosh, I'm such a scatterbrain. 

It didn't even take a full fifteen minutes for him to arrive. He'd come in his company vehicle. It slowed down as it passed the bus stop and reversed. 

The shutter went down. 

"In. Now"

I smiled and got in as he moved to the other side of the car. 

"Do you have any idea that you could've been kidnapped Mae?"

"I was worried about something" I retorted, "I just wanted to clear my head".

"If you want to clear your head next time, just clear it along a road that you know", He said sharply. 

"I'm sorry okay! I'm sorry I disturbed your work…I was wrong", I muttered. 

He sighed and rubbed his forehead. His jaw was clenched again. 

Aish…now I've made him mad. 

"Are you angry?" I ventured. 

"No Mae…I'm not mad at you" He said, "I was worried. You called me out of nowhere and the first thing you said was that you were lost. I thought something was wrong because you sounded upset as well".

I liked listening to his voice. He wasn't wearing his coat so he'd obviously come out in a rush. I'm glad he did because… boy, don't waistcoats look good on him. Being an artist, I had to admire his figure. His body proportions were perfect. Broad shoulders, slim waist and long limbs. Which is obviously why anything looks good on him. Tailor made clothes specifically showed off his slim and fit body. His jawline was so sharp, I could trace it all the way up to his ears.

".....saying?"

I snapped back into reality to see him look at me inquiringly. 

"Huh?" I asked dumbly. 

"I said….you were saying?" Taeyang repeated, "On the phone, you were telling me…".

"Oh!" I gasped, "Right….".

"I'm waiting". 

I blushed, "So uh…".

"Still waiting".

"Let me finish!" I said. Luckily the car was dark enough. He wouldn't see me blush. 

"Alright", He snickered gently. 

"Like I said earlier. I thought about what you told me that day. I had plenty of time to think so I did and came to a conclusion. I didn't want to keep you waiting and I-I feel so lonely when I realize that others haven't been through the same thing I have. I feel…different. But when I'm with you, I don't feel like that. I feel…happy, like I finally have someone who can like totally relate to everything I say and do", I said and paused. 

"I'm not saying my friends aren't great", I continued, "They're the bestest friends I've ever had in such a long time. But they can't relate to my experiences like you do. So yes…I wanted to be close to you...or Min Joon. And-"

My voice cracked as tears threatened to flow. 

"It's alright, take your time", Taeyang assured. 

"I chose you", I sniffled, "I chose you despite all those disagreements we used to have. I don't exactly know why but I know that it's not Min Joon. I told him about it today and I couldn't face him.. that's why I got lost. I feel like I'm a bad person now…I broke his feelings and everything-"

Tears were streaming non-stop as the reality of what I'd done fell upon me at once. He reached out and pulled me close to him. I sobbed into his chest. 

"I keep hurting people Taeyang", I stammered. 

"No you don't. Don't say that Mae".

"So…I called you to say that-" 

He silenced me and brought our foreheads together just like last time. 

"I said that you can tell me when you're ready", He wiped my tears, "But I didn't say that you can confess to me. That's my job. So listen to me carefully".

I nodded. 

"Wen Jina Mae. I've loved you for a very long time", He said, "And I still do. I loved you as Sun-Hee and I still love you the same. When I told you that I wanted you as my wife…I wasn't lying. That was the truth because I was ready to accept you with my entire heart and soul. After you were gone, I wasted myself completely to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. So here I am…asking you for another opportunity to prove myself. So… will you accept me this time or not?"

Straight to the point as usual, I thought. 

"I like you too" I said burying my face in his shoulder. 

Finally….. 

This time, he was there to hold me. 

"You have to promise me something", I said. 

"Anything".

"You can never make the same mistake you did last time", I said, "You can't let anyone hurt me again. You have to promise me that you'll be there for me. I don't want you to make the same mistake again". 

He was silent for a while. Not contemplating…just stunned. 

"I promise", He replied, "You're mine now. Nothing can get in our way…just because I'm not a prince any longer doesn't mean that I won't destroy things that block me from reaching someone or something. I won't let anyone hurt you…".

I felt that familiar aura again as I smiled. The same feeling I got when I saw him walk toward me at the palace hall. Everyone cowering under him. 

His steel sharp eyes snapped open as I pecked him on the cheek. 

My prince….