Chapter 5: The Rizzler of Oz

After yet another lecture we were finally set free. Thankfully it wasn't as long this time.

It was, however, just long enough for Dawn's temporary ban to expire.

Yes, I know it's her, of course, I do! I'm not that dumb, her username is literally PiplupSupremacy!

It was further confirmed by me literally seeing her face, she and May are apparently close internet friends, so they talk a lot and Facetime a lot as well.

Nevertheless, she was currently going berserk in my chat, presumably due to how much she ended up 'missing'.

I read through some of her posts to entertain myself as we made our way to May's house to pick up not only May's equipment and supplies but mine as well that I left the night prior.

[PiplupSupremacy: I can't believe I missed out on cheering May on!]

[PiplupSupremacy: I demand an apology from the moderators!]

[PiplupSupremacy: also can't believe I was banned over mildly mocking some dude with a potato sack over his head!!]

[PiplupSupremacy: very unpog!!!:(]

"Yo Piplup, first of all, calm down. Second of all, I've seen you Facetime with May, your beanie looks exactly the same as Brandon's hat." I said completely shutting her down.

[PiplupSupremacy: how dare you!]

[PiplupSupremacy: my beanies are amazing thank you very much! You of all people Dante, at least I don't go around tacking my color scheme onto anything and everything!]

I was just about to get into a roasting match with Dawn but my female counterpart got my attention before I could.

Probably for the best, the Pokemon world isn't ready for my venomous tongue. It's not built for it, my tongue game is too strong… Where was I going with this?

"Why are you peeking, when I Facetime!" May demanded.

I look at her in disbelief, "What do you mean, why? You literally do it in my room, you use my computer for fucks sake! Like you can't do it on your phone or something."

"I've explained this before, your facecam is better than my phone's camera! Plus, I'm your best friend so all your stuff is automatically mine." She explained, nodding sagely like she didn't just say the most nonsensical shit.

"So does that mean your stuff is mine as well?" I asked rhetorically, already expecting the answer she would give.

"Of course not, what's yours is mine, and what's mine is still mine!" She grinned proud of herself, she shouldn't be, she totally stole that quote!

"I will suplex you into the pavement." I straight-faced. 

May looks contemplative for a second before deciding, "I'll let you suplex me if you give me a kiss right here!" She over-exaggeratedly points to her left cheek leaning her face forward in false anticipation.

I'm almost tempted to do so, if only because I know she would never expect it. It would totally freak her out.

Before I could make a decision, I'm distracted by a sudden alert.

[FilialGranddaughter has donated $7,777]

(Congrats on the win, May! Sorry for the late dono. I tried donating as soon as you won, but it wouldn't let me, I think it glitched out on my end. Regardless, congrats on the win!)

The cold mechanical voice of Rotom reiterates the message, utilizing the strange text-to-speech function that sounds infinitely more believable than the AI back home but yet somehow still robotic sounding.

I'm not sure why Rotom didn't simply read the message in his own voice, but then again I didn't really care.

"Thank you so much, though my winning was never in question," May said confidently as if the entire Twitch Chat didn't witness her barely scrape out a victory.

The sudden donation did spur on the rest of my viewers, however.

[Definitely_Not_Champion_Cynthia: wait donations are back on?]

[Perfume_Princess: they were off?]

[The_Brave: i thought it was weird no one had donated in a while.]

[Did_you_know_Vaporeon…: I didn't even know you could turn donations off?]

[Brandon's_Future_Wife: @chat4, you can't to my knowledge.]

[GayLord: @Brandon's_Future_Wife, did you just make this account? Or can you change usernames on twitch, dm me?]

"Hmm? Oh yeah, I turned off donations and instructed Rotom to only enable them back on when we were traveling from place to place, or resting idly. Never in the middle of a fight or when having an important interaction." I clarified.

The sudden donations could be potentially

Plus I know my audience, half of their donation messages are stupid inside jokes or just stupid jokes in general. Can you imagine I'm challenging a Gym Leader, I'm giving a whole cocky speech/taunt, when all of a sudden a message pops up from LordShitHead trying to ensnare me into a deez nuts joke?

That would be mortifying! Even I don't have that thick of skin.

Thankfully my Chat was understanding, well most of them, but that's just Twitch in a nutshell.

Though as if I released a gate of some type, all of a sudden donation after donation started flooding my vision. Message after message half of which were these nuts jokes, the other half were May simps.

I should've guessed there would be a lot of donations if only because of the sheer quantity of concurrent viewers. Still, this is a bit absurd, May was totally freaking out over the amount of money being donated.

I can almost picture steam coming out of her ears and circles spinning within her irises.

I end up pleading for them to stop donating, not as a form of reverse psychology, but out of genuine desire. Also not because of any noble desire to save my viewers' money. But because I was getting tired of acknowledging their donation messages.

At least with the standard Twitch Chat, I'm able to tune out and ignore certain comments. I'd feel like a dick ignoring someone's message if they donated, so I'm forced to sit through their, frankly repetitive comments.

You have to donate above a certain threshold for your comment to earn the text-to-speech feature. This is intended so that I'm not spammed with messages, but if it's going to be this common I might up the threshold.

"Hi, Dante!" I'm knocked out of my contemplation by the distinct high pitch voice all pre-teens seem to have.

I recognize the voice of course, which can only mean we have arrived, and sure enough, I spot the familiar of May's little brother standing at the front porch of their home, waiting to greet us.

Or greet me, more accurately. As for May…

"Where's my hello!?" She questioned angrily as we dismounted my bike and approached on foot.

"Hah? I see you every day! I'm just waiting for you to bounce so I can have your room." He heartlessly announced.

[Definitely_Not_Champion_Cynthia: it's MiniMax!]

[Crybaby: MiniMax is a bona fide savage!]

[Pokemon_Master12: I was hoping for some more fights, what's will all this talking stuff!!!]

[Long_OakWood: @Pokemon_Master12, stfu! It's called world-building jackass!]

[PiplupSupremacy: is MiniMax coming along!?]

"I'm not mini!" Max yelled out, obviously having read the chat.

I'll be honest I have no idea where that MiniMax shit even came from. They just started calling him that one day, I guess he used to be really small for his age, but he's about average for a twelve-year-old right now, I'd say.

Guess it just stuck, much to his displeasure.

[PiplupSupremacy has donated 5,000$]

(Chill out MiniMax, here buy yourself a new video game or something.)

Listening to Dawn's donation I immediately pulled out five 1,000 dollar bills from my pocket and handed them to him, knowing I'd get crucified by my chat if I didn't.

The worse thing is, Twitch takes thirty percent, she's forcing me to pay out of pocket! If I ever see her irl, I'm choke-slamming her and her stupid Piplup.

"Whoa! I'm rich! Thanks, Piplup!" Max took the money and ran into his house as if I would change my mind he didn't.

He came back just a moment later, "Wait I forgot what I was gonna ask!" 

I just looked at him expectantly.

He suddenly looked really nervous, "You're going to be traveling on foot right."

I could already see where this was going, "Yes. I will be."

"Can I borrow your bike while you're gone!" He quickly stammers out as if he's already expecting me to say no.

"Sure," I said simply.

"I promise I'll take really good care-, wait what!" He stopped mid-thought in shock.

I reiterated, "I said sure, matter of fact, you can just keep it, not like I'm gonna be using it for anything."

"Really!?" Max asked excitedly, to which I just nodded. 

[Dragon_Queen667: don't call him Dante, call him Philanthropist Dante!]

[The_Brave: pretty cool of Dante!]

[The_Forgotten_Sister: MiniMax should repaint it, that color scheme is about as ugly as Dante himself.]

I swear I'm gonna box whoever Chat 3 is!

Max lets out a whoop of celebration, "5,000$, my own bike, a new room, and May is leaving!? This is the best day of my life!"

[PiplupSupremacy: I like MiniMax, but me personally I'd never take the level of disrespect!]

[Machampion: If I were May, Max would have to run my fade, it's not my choice, rules are rules.]

May slams her fist against his head as he celebrates in a bizarre dance reminiscent of Chopper.

'Did he forget about the cameras?' I'm totally making that silly dance of his an emote.

May then turned to me in concern, "But your bike was so expensive!" She tried to reason.

It fucking was too, I'm not sure what person or company has a monopoly on bikes, that they can get away with upcharging the price of bikes so much, but I'm gonna find them one day. I'll kill them with my bare hands if I have to, 10k for a bike is absurd.

That's dollars mind you, in Pokedollars it comes out to just over a million.

I'd never pay so much for a bike, so I didn't… I stole it, something neither May nor my audience is aware of.

Just because I have the money doesn't mean I'm going to waste it like an idiot. The senile old man whose shop I took it from probably didn't even notice.

Having stolen it, I don't feel bad about giving it away. But I'm not about to tell May that.

"It's fine, better he ends up using it, than no one at all. It'll just collect dust in my garage." I also don't want to bike all the way back to my house, which is yet another thing I don't mention.

May looked very happy, "That's so sweet! Thank you!" She cooed then proceeded to press her lips to my cheek and making an overexaggerated mwah sound effect.

[Hard_Boiled: the diabetes, it's back!]

[Pixar_Mom: how cute!]

[RosyRose: everyday Burnt Maple grows stronger! We the people demand it!]

[LucarioOnIce: @RosyRose, speak for yourself Dante x Brandon will forever be supreme!]

[Auburn_Cargo_Pilot: It's cute how far he goes to make her happy! Bikes are expensive!]

Dammit, this is getting too sweet, too diabetes-inducing. I wasn't blushing no matter what anyone said! If it came out that way in the video feed, then obviously it was just the lighting!

My chat was obviously of the same opinion. I had to do something fast!

I walked into May's house, slammed the door open, and yelled out, "Where's my wife!"

Any goodwill acquired from May is immediately lost as she starts whacking me over the head with a rolled-up newspaper she got from God knows where.

"I swear Dante, if you start flirting with my mom again, I'm actually going to strangle you." She said as seriously as possible.

I receive my reply, however, "I'm over here sweetie, I'm making Max some brunch!"

"Mom! Don't respond to 'my wife', you're only encouraging him!" May screamed appalled.

[Homeheartfire: May on her NTR arc]

[Homehearthfire has received a 120-hour ban.]

[Burn_Baby!: It be your own family, that's real shit!]

[Based_Professor: ntr is a shit fetish.]

My target acquired I made my way over to the kitchen, stealing a flower from one of the vases lining the hallways, on my way over.

I spot the wild MILF in her natural habit, the kitchen… thank god Chat can't read my thoughts I'd be canceled so fast.

Regardless, I approach the creature slowly, careful not to spook the wild MILF, then pounced.

"Caroline!" I called out embracing her body from behind, "Didja miss me?"

"Yes, but I've told you, I'm happily married." She then proceeded to bonk me pretty hard, with her wooden spoon.

That won't be enough to deter me, at least it wouldn't be until May pulls me off.

"What the hell are you doing!?" She demanded looking pissed off.

I ignore her and instead present Caroline with the flower I stole from one of her vases, "You're as beautiful as ever, Caroline." I said kneeling down and offering her the aforementioned flower.

"Mrs. Maple! Mrs. Maple!!!" May's is quick to correct.

I'm undeterred and continue, "You say you're happy in your marriage and perhaps that's true, but I know I could make you happier. Ascend you to a plane of higher existence via my worship."

[PiplupSupremacy: yo it's the rizzler]

[TutuPrince: homie got that infidelity rizz!]

[Auburn_Cargo_Pilot: forbidden rizz]

[Flattery: Does Gym Leader Norman not watch these?]

[Chojomeka: oyakodon when?]

[Chojomeka has received a 24-hour ban.]

Caroline lets out a deep sigh, but she can't hide the blush that's risen to her face nor the slightly flattered, slightly offended look on her face.

That's the power of S Rank Charisma baby! I probably could seduce her outright, but she would probably resent me after the fact.

'That's it, Dante, just gotta whittle them down, little by little…'

She takes the flower from my hands before saying, "I'll accept this flower if you stand up." She half says half asks. I agree of course and rise in more ways than one, I'll admit I kneeled down to try and get a better look at her ass.

May continues on glaring unimpressed, I can feel she's starting to actually get mad so I cut the flirting short… for now.

"Anyways, May and I are going to get our stuff, I'll make sure to call though, so don't worry Caroline. Our love won't diminish by our time apart!" I declared.

"Let's go!" May suddenly demands and begins pulling me in the direction of our supplies.

I let her, having nothing else to say.

We come across two different bags, a decently sized camp bag/backpack. As well as a completely oversized behemoth.

May looked bothered before saying, "I didn't notice when we were packing yesterday but is this your supply bag?"

"Yeah, why?" I asked not seeing the problem.

"Dante," she called out seriously, "you can't even carry your own body weight, how are you gonna carry the equivalent of a Phampy?"

[Flattery: Burn!]

[InvincibleThunder: that right there was a violation, me personally I wouldn't have it.]

[Machampion: Right? May gotta run my fade at that point]

[Long_OakWood: @Machampion, what's with you and running fades you really out here fighting everybody?]

[DarkMagicianGirl: she spiitin tho! Dante would go from a 9.5 to an 11 out of 10 if he wasn't so skinny!]

[Flattery: @DarkMagicianGirl, you're still on about that? He's ugly stop coping!]

[DarkMagicianGirl: @Flattery, you're high]

"Rude," I say in response to May's comment, "also all of this stuff is vital to our survival."

She looked at me through unimpressed half-lidded eyes that just screamed, 'Really?'.

May goes on to open my bag and starts taking stuff out without my permission.

"You don't need half this stuff!" She cried out.

"Yes, I do!" Where does she get off?

"Really Dante," she pulled out a large white spherical object, "you need a rice cooker?" She questioned me.

"It's solar-powered, May! Solar powered, I don't get what you're not getting." I don't have a problem.

She pulls out a lot more objectively bad travel items, "I mean what even is this?" She asked pulling out my to-scale Spheal plushy.

I explained what it was of course, and May hesitated before throwing it out as well.

"It's adorable Dante, but it takes up too much space." She said as she heartlessly tossed it aside, alongside my miniature replica of Prism Tower and my coupon book.

I have never been so devastated.

[PiplupSupremacy: is Dante a hoarder or something?]

[Long_OakWood: why does he have so much shit!]

[Pet_Named_Steve: homie is an elite-level camper, he's ready for the apocalypse]

[Drip-Jin-Woo: dude for real need an intervention.]

After an embarrassingly long time, May managed to reduce my bag to about a fourth of what it once was. 

"There that's better," she called out in satisfaction, "hmm? What's this?" 

She pulled out a long wooden box I had kept stored at the very bottom of my luggage.

Before she could even think about opening it, I raced over and snatched the box out of her hands.

"Ah! What's wrong with you!"

"This box is important, we're taking it," I said leaving no room for argument.

That sparks her curiosity, however, "What is it?" She asked.

"None of your business," I informed her.

A cheeky smile appears on her face, "is it something, lewd?" She teased.

"Yes," I answered quickly.

Now she looks concerned, "If it was you would never admit it, what's actually inside?"

"Nothing, drop it," I state seriously.

May looked like she was going to argue but ended up giving up, perhaps noticing how serious I looked.

[Brandon's_Future_Wife: Can you imagine if it's straight-up drugs lol]

[Not_Annoying: Tekken?]

"There that's it then, we're all set, we've stalled long enough, let's head off," May said with an air of impatience and finality.

I could tell she was as nervous as she was excited. I felt the same, but I had one final request.

"Can I take the Spheal plush?" I asked, "He barely weighs anything, he's a plushy." I quickly spat out when I saw her looking annoyed.

"I'll let you cuddle with him." That finally convinced her and she conceded.

Yes! Wait… why am I convincing her, I don't need her permission! God dammit!

----------

After a quick brunch, despite the fact we had eaten earlier, we finally got the ball rolling to set off.

We swiftly said our final goodbyes, to which everyone ended up tearing up, except me of course, even Max ended up getting caught up in the moment.

After a not-so-quick walk, we traversed the entire town in order to reach the outskirts. Meanwhile, my concurrent viewer count kept growing larger and larger the closer we got to starting the actual Pokemon journey.

We made our way to the very edge of town, where Littleroot ends and where Route 101 begins. It's also where our journey begins!

May and I stood side by side, at the very edge of Littleroot. Looking determined, well I did, May looked constipated

"You ready?" I questioned the bandana-wearing heathen beside me, only to receive a happy nod.

"Well alright then, Chat if you can count us off?" Only to immediately regret it as an influx of people all staring at different numbers and commenting at different times had my chat looking unreadable.

"Nevermind, Rotom?"

"Of course, Dante."

"3"

"2"

"1"

"Start!"

So it was with a heavy heart we took our very first step into our adventure, the first step into our new lives!

I get a sound notification, not from Rotom, but from my system, I ignore it however, and put it off until later. For now, I had full concentration on the view up ahead.

This is where our journey starts!

[A/N: super sorry for the long update wait, college sucks. Anyways here's chapter 5, we're finally out littleroot, jesus that took a while. I'll try to upload tomorrow, since the next chapter is just a long interlude of worldwide reactions to Dante's stream. But I make no promises.]

[QOTD: Favorite non-OP legendary, no colossal behemoths like Rayquaza or Lugia. Think more grounded yet still legendary like the legendary birds/dogs. Mythical's are allowed.]