Chapter Six

Lines of Love Chapter Six

Joy/

We grew distant over the days of our isolation from one another and soon she was no longer at home. I was letting the alcohol find a place inside my bloodstream more frequently. The alternative was something darker than I could cope with. Work became dull for me to the point I was being sloppy showing up just a little intoxicated each time. So I quit my job that made me happy to some degree because it wasn't easy finding it. But I found myself letting those places of happiness slip away, first was my work. Then my mentor my mother help me find so I could learn medicine and certain aspects of medical fields. My classes which had furthered my understanding of how to deal with cancer. Everything was freely being let go of just because it was easier for me because the truth was I'm ready to disappear. It was always I've ways had such thoughts but every time something held me in chains so I never did.

It's hard trying to be a good person and no one tells you otherwise. I was working myself too hard letting myself get caught up in preserving something I already had. Perhaps I should have let her in more so she would understand just a little more. The sound of my phone ringing pulls me from thinking too deeply. At first, I thought it was Cassie but it wasn't.

" What are you doing awake Little Abi"

" Couldn't sleep, Aunty... Mom went home to mama so I got to watch grandma but I'm worried."

She's brilliant for a child her age I just wish Abigail would enjoy her childhood more. She doesn't need to worry about adult things that's for sure.

" Well, you shouldn't be worrying because everything is fine. But you should be in bed already."

" But-"

" Abigail I will sing you a song but you need to sleep and not worry. Deal?"

" Okay deal... Thank you"

It doesn't take long for the song to put her to sleep which I'm thankful for. I use to argue with her for calling me Aunty but honestly, it isn't so bad after all. Abigail has two uncles and Aunts with two mothers and a grandma. She has a family we all dreamed of at some point in some way. I don't think I could ever be a good enough parent I barely take care of myself yet Astra pulls it off. As I finally hang up a message comes through from Cassie which makes me happy before I even read the message. Surprisingly enough she was letting me know she's outside waiting for me even though I'm not sober I still rush out to her.

She sees it the moment we are face to face but I smile trying to assure her that I'm okay. That's all I can do to assure her.

" You... Don't look good Joy, God your a mess."

" Ha... Yeah, I was drinking trying to relieve my stress. But Abigail Called so I had to help her go to sleep."

" That's good, she's a good kid... Umm, so my father and Jean said I needed to talk to you and fox this. They said life has obstacles we have to overcome and sacrifices to be made... We in truth I'm a child who hasn't learned enough about life, I may throw tantrums or say unreasonable things. I may try to hurt you with my words and I may scream but I do love you Joy, that much I know... And you have done nothing but sacrifice for me and all I did was watch, but I don't wanna watch anymore either... I can't understand what it is between you and Astra but I don't beef to either... Because I know we can make a life together...soo"

" I accepted who you were long ago Cassie... I'm no saint you know that but you are right we can figure this out together... I'll try to do better I swear."

It wasn't my finest kiss but it's what I had the alcohol wasn't helping my stumbling. The kiss didn't last long because she didn't like the taste of it. We had a fit of giggles before she said for me to come home, a lot of things were happening and we needed to help. Astra was proposed to by Gina and they wanna get everything ready. Jean has an announcement to make when the wedding gets underway as well. This family has ups and downs but it's hard to tear us apart no matter the difficulty before us. I won't be ready for some time to give Cassie all this but one day I will.