Chapter 2/ Part Three

Lines of Love part Three

Percy/

Coming here to see her I expected to see Cait or at least hear from her to some extent. But Joy was not something I expected and she's still as terrifying as she was in high school. Her being here reminds me of how guilty I feel about everything that happened to Astra. Kind of silly that I once felt jealousy because of my sister, the way she captivated Joy. I couldn't compare I was just a toy in her eyes like the many others but my sister had Joy wanting more than anyone could give. I was the whisper of encouragement for Cait to visit joy, even though she already said she was thinking of doing so. But I gave her a lie that joy wanted to see her that day because I knew Joy had company.

That night Joy told me what happened with her and Cait, I didn't expect it to spiral like that. But my goal was to hurt Astra and I overly achieved I guess. Even earned me a fist to the face not long after which also resulted in Joy being hospitalized. If only I had stopped there maybe things wouldn't have been so bad, maybe I could have fixed things. But no I had to whisper to our parents not really encouraging them but not dissuading them either. I could have changed the outcome I'm sure I just needed to speak up on Astra's behalf, but I didn't. After she was released from the hospital It took some time but I went to see Joy, catching up. But we got way too drunk and many things came out that shouldn't have, I told her everything expecting something different maybe. That's the second time I was knocked on my ass, she looked at me disgusted at who I was or what I became.

Meeting her here brings everything into perspective, I shouldn't have come here. Stacy should have given up on me yet she didn't and I don't understand it. I tried to sleep that night but it never came so I made a call purely desperate.

Stacy; " Percy..."

Percy; " Hey, I met or heard from some people I want expecting. Astra is doing okay just not awake yet. I met her girlfriend she seems nice you know... She made something out of her life and I'm happy about that it's just... So much I could have done better you know. I don't think I can do this much longer..."

Stacy; " How many times do you think she said those same words, and look where she's at. You gotta find a way to close the past mistakes, it's gonna kill you, Percy."

Percy; " Was I ever alive."

Stacy; " Yea once, in a lifetime I briefly was a part of. But times fleeting and we only get moments. Goodnight"

When she hung up I finally fell asleep in the car but by morning I was at the nearest store. Days and weeks go by and Astra still hasn't awakened, Ginas losing her grip slowly. The doctors are optimistic about things but it's not enough for Gina, she's breaking at the seams. By the third week Gina was sleeping less and eating less so I ended up staying with her but that was a horrible idea. I tried to help her eat and sleep so I got some product from a local friend, we took turns smoking and passing the bottle. She was eating and laughing but I should have known better than give people a crutch that only harms you. Late into the AM, we have gotten through a bag and two bottles of wine she was half alert but we ended up kissing and if she hadn't stopped herself I don't think I would have.

After she ran to the room and shut the door I left that night, heading to a place I thought I forgot. I just wanted to be of help but things shouldn't have turned out this way.

Stacy; " What are you doing here so late."

Percy; " I screwed up again... every time I try it just never works out. Am I just programmed by genes to be a fuck up. I don't get it, I don't get it."

Year's of intoxication helped me stay aware but I didn't wannabe aware, because I realize that I'm not gonna last much longer. But she just holds me telling me those old familiar words I longed to hear again. So I cried in her arms unable to resist the build-up, I just wanna do right. I woke up to the smell of breakfast and her humming a song we once danced to. She told me that arrangements were made and that I needed to go with her or say goodbye to her forever. It was an easy choice because I needed her more than ever so we drove to a place outside of town. I knew where we ended up but I was afraid to go inside but if I didn't I would lose her and I couldn't take that.

Percy; " If I do this will you want for me?"

Stacy; " Percy I have been waiting for years, so please do this for me. You are booked for two months. I'll visit and tell Astra."

Percy; " Thank you.."

My two months are to be spent here in rehab a place I feared the most. Which meant I would also need to see the therapist here, thank you, Stacy. I'll do my best from here on out.