Promise

I woke up to the beeping monitors. I felt like I had been hit by a truck. What had happened again? Pain shot through my head as I tried to recall it. I groaned.

"Try not to move." A female voice told me. I opened my eyes and blinked against the strong light until I could make out a friendly looking nurse.

"What happened?" I asked. Last thing I remember was going for a little walk in the forest after my conversation with James.

"We don't know. You were found three days ago early in the morning in the woods. You were barely alive. Only reason you are already awake is because your awakening is so close."

My awakening. My wolf! Full moon!

"Which day? Date?" I just now noticed how dry my mouth felt.

The nurse told me. I was shocked. Full moon was next week. What if they didn't allow me to go into the forest because I was injured? No! That couldn't happen. My peaceful month! I had been looking forward to it for so long! I would get it, I decided at this moment, or die trying.

"The alpha will come in a moment, he wants to talk with you." The nurse informed me. I nodded. He probably wanted to know what happened to me. What was I supposed to tell him? Was he even going to believe me?

I swallowed but there was nothing to swallow, my mouth was still uncomfortably dry. A moment later a glass appeared in my hand. The nurse smiled at me, but it didn't reach her eyes. Of course it didn't. She was a nurse and I was… well me. The black sheep of the pack.

"Maybe I could use my situation to my advantage", I thought while sipping on my water. "What his son did could be my ticket out."

It took another two hours until the alpha appeared. He sat down next to me, his gaze was cold and worried at the same time. He sent everyone out.

"I know you have been through a lot, but you clearly have been attacked and I need to know who did it."

"I will tell you, but for my silence I want a promise." A hollow smile flashed across my face.

"What do you mean? What are you talking about?" I could hear the agitation in his voice.

"You son", I said quietly.

"You are lying!" Were his first words. Of course they were. As if someone would just believe me. That would never happen, not in this life. It didn't matter if I lied or told the truth, everyone had already made up their own answer and no one cared about the truth.

"Am I?" I asked. I could feel the pressure from the alpha.

"Tell me the truth!" He ordered, forcing me to submit, to tell him the truth. He really didn't believe me.

"James. You son did that to me." I repeated.

He slumped down. I knew why. There was no way for me to lie under the pressure of my alpha.

"Who… who knows?" He asked, defeated.

"No one. We can keep it that way, I just want a promise."

He looked at me, confused. "What promise?"

"After I got my wolf, let me go. Let me leave. I don't want this pack anymore." My voice was barely audible. It was the first time I said that out loud. The first time I admitted that I wanted to abandon my pack. I had expected that my heart would hurt more, but instead I felt better, like a huge weight had been lifted off me.

"Okay."

"Just tell me what lie to tell and I will do so. Then please leave me alone. I have to heal so I am ready for next week to go into the forest and get to know my wolf."

He nodded. His eyes glanced at me with a complicated look, as if he just couldn't understand me. "Don't worry" I thought, "I don't understand me either. I know that my pack should be my first priority, but instead all I want is to be alone."

After a little thinking we agreed on a bear attack and he would deal with the fallout. I made sure that he would blame me for invading the bears sleeping quarters so the bear wouldn't be hunted down and everyone would blame me instead. I didn't want an innocent bear to die for me.