Pills

I look chubby. But why? I weigh myself. I'm below average weight, so why do I look so fat? I'm so ugly. It doesn't help that my parents talking earlier is somehow gnawing at me. Were they talking about me? Now that I think about it, I'm involved with the cat. I brought it home. I mentioned Laureen. Maybe they're happy made good friends. Maybe they've figured me out.

I snap out of it. No, they don't care about that stuff. Not to mention, when theyr taking care of an animal, they won't stop until they've done all they could do. They were talking about the cat. Right?

My image still bothers me. Maybe I shouldn't of had those Hot Cheetos. Then again, that Monster was probably a worse choice.

Whatever, no breakfast tomorrow. No dinner either. I'll still have lunch to make it easier on my stomach, I just started eating again. I also don't want my friends to worry, I just met them.

But why. No matter how hard I try, I can't do it. I can't be skinny. I can't, I can't, I can't. I've tried diets, starvation, exercise, and even those packages from tv. They're lies. Lies, lies, LIES. I'll never be skinny enough. No more excessive food. No more junk food. Exercise three times a week. Protein shakes are allowed for workouts only. Maybe I'll be skinny now.

I go to my room and set an alarm for 7:30am, it doesn't take that long for me to get ready. I mean, I wear a school uniform. It's a bit different than my last school, but at least I can wear whatever jacket I want. This school is strict for public school, not for private though. It's actually really laid back. Well, the teachers are anyway.

I'll wear my leather jacket with spikes, it's my favorite. Wait, no. It's probably not Laureen's style, but I have a yellow cardigan. It actually goes really nice with the uniform. I kinda like it. It's growing on me. Dammit.

I lay down, trying to fall asleep. I try fake sleeping. Doesn't work. I try rolling around. Doesn't work. Counting sheep? What am I thinking? That never works. So I get up. I het out of my room.

I head to the kitchen and take a melatonin and B¹². Melatonin for sleep, B¹² forms blood cells. Mom said they were enlarged. Apparently it can be because of low B¹². So I take it. It doesn't do anything, really. I still have some water left, then I see them.

Those damned Keto pills. They taunt me, wanting me to take them. They don't work though, right? I stopped taking them cause I didn't think they were healthy. Well, I'm not dead yet so yolo. I take the pill. Well, I want to lose weight fast, so I take another.

I'm about to take another when I stop myself. Two for now. Maybe more later. Then I head downstairs to the basement.

They're still talking. The melatonin will take a bit to ingest, and I want to know how the cat is doing. I do something I've never done before. I hear things too. I press my ear against the door.