Chapter 19: Jiao Zimu

There is a certain something about life that seemed so fragile. Jiao Zimu didn't know what it was, but that something is definitely there and definitely existent. He didn't have the same uncanny intuition that hsi brother had, but he still had an ability all the same. Sure it probably isn't as useful in emergencies but that doesn't mean anything to Jiao Zimu in the long run.

An example would be the sect leader. Strong, dedicated to the sect and theoretically unbeatable within the sect...as long as no one counts Hall Master Ling. Yet, there is a certain fragility in him and Jiao Zimu merely needs to touch it too...

Well.

Jiao Zihua looks at him with so many things and Jiao Zimu smiles. Smile, smile, smilesmilesmile, hadn't mother smiled all the time? He misses her.

(If only Jiao Zihua never existed. If only he wasn't such a perfect child. If only he stopped smiling mother's smile at everyone. If only he simply stopped breathing.

Stop stop stopstopstop—please.)

Jiao Zihua—not his brother, never will, never has—asks lowly, with a rarely seen anger, something that has never run in their family. "Why did you do this? You don't like me, that's fine! But father..."

"What are you talking about?" Jiao Zimu asks, raising his voice. "Weren't you the one who gave the sect leader poison?!"

There is a stricken expression that mother has never shown before.

Not his brother, not his brother at all!

Hall Master Fu emerges from the depths of the sect leader's chambers and announces to them grimly, looking at Jiao Zimu with a rather certain pity, "Sect Leader Jiao has consumed the Devourer."

Jiao Zimu does not smile or cry, he simply bows, expresses his gratitude and leaves the hall.

The guest had some back, which was rather odd. Jiao Zimu had been of the mind that they would have left immediately. That is...bad, because from what Jiao Zimu can gather, they are biased towards Jiao Zihua. Even more so when one considers the fact that they are apparently engaged to a Ling and therefore will be listened to by Hall Master Ling.

He walks, walks and ends up in front of the catacombs. Going even further, Jiao Zimu's feet leads him to the farthest room.

Soon, mother will be able to see Sect Leader Jiao again.

Silently, he leaves a flower made of solidified blood at her tombstone.

'Darkness' bright green dress bounces into sight, the person herself fiddling with her hair. Death gives her a look-over before going back to reading the screen. Paperwork and such are a complete pain in the *ss, especially when Lightning asks about why her brother hasn't done such and such...

A weight plops onto her lap and Darkness' big; black eyes seem to stare right into her soul. "When was the last time you trained?"

Death rolls her eyes at Darkness and responds, "Yesterday."

"Are you sure about that?" A very familiar voice purrs into her ear, Death reaches behind her to pat Fauna on the head. At some point, Mimicry had also hovered into the room and is currently looking at them with an odd expression on their current form. Fauna hisses and bats away her hand. "I'm sure."

Mimicry's form distorts and turns into a mix of Lightning and Death, they grin, teeth sharp and signs, "If that's so. Sleep?"

"Sleep is for the weak." Death and Darkness tells them at the same time.

Death smiles.'

Dust settles and Ling Hongyun grins at them from where he stands up, dusting his clothes off. Leiji smiles, "You lost again."

The grin they receive is full of teeth.

The two of them sheath their swords and step out of the designated sparring area, moving past the crowd and towards the room Leiji had been using the entire time they were there. It conveniently had its own bathing chambers and Leiji has never seen the appeal or drawbacks of bathing together.

Mother had been very careful about making sure Ling Hongyun never bathing with them and would probably be very angry if she ever finds out about this.

...in any case, the problem is that Leiji wants to cut Hongyun's hair this time, instead of him doing it himself again and making an atrocity of it. His hair now reaches jsut above his waist—growing faster than it should because regeneration does that sometimes—and Leiji is used to it only being to his ears or nape at most.

Also, "When did you last eat?"

Because the Emperor ranks and afterwards can practice in...uh, not eating, drinking or sleeping for a period of time. And because Leiji failed and had their cultivation destroyed the first time they had a heavenly tribulation, Hongyun is mow a Myth rank 3. Which is rather odd, actually now that they're thinking about it, is ranking up harder for him now or something?

"About a week ago." He answers easily. Catchign sight of their concerned look, he sighs and tells them, "It's annoying."

Remembering to eat is apparently, annoying. Even when he was a child, Hongyun only ever ate when necessary or when Leiji was being pushy...

"But the situation here is rather bad isn't it?" Hongyun opens his louth again, giving Leiji a dissatisfied glare. He splashes water on them and continued, "The father was poisoned by his elder son who used his younger brother as an in-between, the political incline is being messed up and you are engaged to me."

That means Hall Master Ling is likely to listen to them and people would want them on their side. Leiji knows, but it is still a rather odd thing to think of themselves as being used as a puppet. So, "we can't just break up?"

Hongyun whips around at that and Leiji is stunned by the amount of hurt in that expression.

Immediately, he asks, "What did you say?"

"I," Leiji starts, then, "nevermind, I—"

"No, no," he seems enraged now, fists trembling at his sides. "Please repeat that one more time. You wanted us to, to just, break up?"

And immediately, Leiji is annoyed because they were never together to begin with. They answer testily, ignoring the sheer fury rolling into the bonds, "Well, it's not like the entire thing was simply for convenience at the time!"

"You!" Ling Hongyun easily looms over them and Leiji doesn't budge. "What are you saying?"

"I'm saying," Leiji glares at him, ignoring the urge to punch him, "that I didn't even know what you were doing at the time! Did you ever think of what my opinion on this was?!"

"I thought you were fine with it!"

"Well, I was because nobody was poking around with that fact!"

"So just because it's now inconvenient for you, you choose to get rid of it?!" Ling Hongyun seems even more incensed at that. "You're just going to run when things get hard?! I didn't know you were such a coward."

And that, hurt. Because it's true, that Leiji was thinking exactly that. Except, it isn't that true is it?

They ask lowly, "Did you ever think about how I feel?"

It was like a dam was released because it all came flooding out, "Did you ever think about how I feel?! I don't like you like that!" Which they know is a lie, but Hongyun doesn't, "Did you think I like the authority?! The power?! I don't! I hate it! I hate that...that people will try to use me because of it! I hate that you connected us like that without ever telling me beforehand!"

"Leiji," Hongyun starts but they just glare at him venomously even as their eyes tear up, "Is my opinion that unimportant?! Am I not good enough?!"

Tears were rushing down their face and Leiji chokes on a sob, asking again and pathetically laying one of their worst fears out, "Am I not good enough for you?"

Ling Hongyun reaches out and hugs them, sitting on the floor and bringing them down with him. He keeps whispering something and Leiji can only hear their own—atrocious, horrible—sobs.

They feel horrible for dumping all this on Hongyun, yet it feels so good to finally get everything out and Leiji really is a horrible person for it.

After an embarrassingly long time, Leiji finally stops, with the occasional hiccup.

"I'm sorry," Hongyun begins, looking rather stiff as he says things about three years overdue, "I...like you, a lot, and...we should take the time to think this over. If you want to break the engagement, we have to talk to one of my uncles."

"Sorry," Leiji rasps, "I overreacted. I don't..."

The rest of what they wanted to say is sent through the mental bond between them, 'I don't really know right now. It's just...'

'Understood.' Hongyun, of course, still understands them the most. That or he's lying, which is rare. 'I really, really do like you.' He continues, looking odd as he does, "Doing it that way is normal in this world; I think I understand why you don't...appreciate it.'

Not appreciating it is an understatement. Leiji huffs, then asks out loud, "You do realize we've both been naked the entire time?"

Ling Hongyun flushes a surprising red and picks them up in a princess carry, kicking the door open and dumping Leiji onto the bed, then walking away. He returns with the robes left on the low table for the both of them and throws a set of them at Leiji. It's just then that he reaches for one of his swords and Leiji blurts out, "Can I cut your hair?"

"...why?" Hongyun doesn't even try to hide his wariness about the idea.

"Rude," they say in response. Hongyun doesn't act as if anything before happened and Leiji...doesn't know what to feel about that. On one hand, it's nice and on the other hand, it feels awkward.

After a moment of staring at them, Hongyun hands them the sword he had retrieved earlier with a grumble of, "Don't make me go bald."

Leiji gives him a mock-affronted gasp and swings the sword around meacingly, "How dare you say I'm bad at this!"

Hongyun rolls his eyes. "You've never even cut your own hair."

"I haven't," Leiji confirms, then, "so what?"

A certain someone's sword is really, really sharp. Did he sharpen it just before coming here? Leiji barely has to make the blade and hair touch before strands of black fall onto the floor. They first cut off the ponytail Hongyun's hair was in, then start trying to cut it into something resembling a hairstyle and not the usual choppy thing that his hair has been for two years.

The result is... still rather off, no matter how much anyone looks at it. Still, Ling Hongyun smiles and messes up their own hair.

It was then that a thought crosses their mind and Leiji asks, "Why couldn't I feel any of my bonds here?"

"The Blood Moon sect is famous for their arrays and research on the more mystic side of the world," Ling Hongyun says in lieu of an answer, Leiji still easily grasps the meaning, wondering why a certain someone in their head didn't just say so instead of leaving them floundering. So, in other words, they knew how to interrupt the connection from outside. "But wouldn't that mean this place is more like a bunker?"

"I wouldn't know." He bluntly replies, continuing, "Ask first uncle about this sh*t."

That first uncle, if Leiji were to look back on past conversations with Ling Hongyun and Ling Fengbao and remember, should be Hall Master Ling. Which makes Leiji very curious about how it works, because they distinctly remember the Ling having an exclusive cultivation method and demonic arts cultivators having the same.

Does he have some kind of mesh of the two? Use both separately? Speaking of, what the actual fu—dge is that ridiculous, convoluted relationship between clans and sects? Leiji mentally notes all that down for the next time they see Ling Fengbao.

Since that man decided that he was good enough to be Leiji's mentor, then Leiji will use him as much as they can.

(Lightning is curled up in a corner, Lu Leiji very carefully not looking at her. This is fine. He fiddles with a sleeve, watching with idle interest what Leiji was doing. The Blood Moon sect...he really missed the people there.)