DECISIONS, DECISIONS (3)

"She is? Hey, are you siding with her?!" Xue Guangxi protested.

 "I'm not siding with anyone. But her thinking is valid." Mo Wenbin turned frighteningly serious. "It's not just you and her. You cannot be selfishly thinking only of yourself, Guangxi. You should be thinking about the twins too."

"What do you mean?" Xue Guangxi could not follow.

"You and Kang Sola had already been arguing even at this stage of your friendship. If, hypothetically speaking, you two get together, imagine how passionate you could become in terms of arguing and in getting your point across. Imagine how big of a potential your future fights to be painful. Both of you are capable of acting as immaturely as hurling hurtful illogical words to each other. Imagine that exercise and how emotionally draining it can get to you two. Now, think of how the kids would be affected by it."

"Then, let's consider this option, say, hypothetically you two don't end up with each other in the end, sadly so. How would you face each other at family gatherings? That would be awkward. Don't tell me you won't even attend the family gatherings. That's a possibility too. Apparently, life goes on."

"What about the twins? What would be their take on it? Don't ever forget that you two are also their uncle and aunt. More than that, you play the role of their second parents, being the closest to them emotionally and physically."

"They would be damn stressed out whenever you two would get into a fight or an argument."

"And if things get ugly between you two, how would they feel? They already lost their real parents. Don't tell me they would have to experience how to have 'divorced' parents as well?"

"Why are you leaning on the less likely? It's too grim." Xue Guangxi's face fell a little bit more.

"You have to be prepared for the worst case." Mo Wenbin blabbered on. "Don't rock the boat if you're not responsible enough to face the consequences. I think Sola knows it. I commend her for acting not too rashly."

"…"

Xue Guangxi was knocked down speechless. He opened his lips only to close it again.

Lala who was oblivious of his dilemma lied its head on its two front paws.

When he had processed Mo Wenbin's inputs, he uttered in such a weak voice, "I haven't thought that far ahead." He felt downcast and crestfallen.

"Well, Guangxi, since you ask for my advice, I suggest that you give it much more thought and time before you even do anything. Don't be impulsive."

Xue Guangxi bowed his head but nodded in agreement. "I understand."

"So the final decision will be yours to make: either you pursue your heart's desire and plunge yourself fully into it with full accountability and responsibility, considering all the consequences – including the twins' and our family's involvement…"

Mo Wenbin paused to give emphasis to his words, and when he continued, he went slowly.

"…or you keep the status quo with her, forget about your romantic feelings for her altogether and do a hard stop. Care for her as a sibling, just like what she prefers."

"The choice is yours. I wish you luck and wisdom and courage."

"What the hell?! It's so complicated. Ahhh!!!!" He pulled his hair out of vexation and whined like a kid throwing a tantrum. He kicked with his feet stubbornly. "All I want is to keep her beside me all the time. That's all I want! I want her and the twins to keep sharing and making good happy times together as one unit –officially. I want her to be with me as my better half and not a sibling. Is it that hard to achieve?"

"Apparently, it is. It's not about your sole opinion and what you want." Mo Wenbin tapped him on his back.

"I… I am afraid to lose her, Wenbin-Ge. I am so scared of pushing her farther away from me. I don't want to hurt the twins, too."

"The choice is yours. No one can tell you what to do." This time, Mo Wenbin tapped his shoulder in consolation. He seemed to be in hesitation, but he asked anyway, "So you still like her after all this years? Maybe you should consider how deep your feelings are for her. Maybe then you will be able to choose the better option."

The young man kept his head bowed down, but nodded. "It's a sound advice."

"Mind if I ask?" Mo Wenbin turned cautious.

"Go ahead."

"Have you come to terms with… with her biological family background? You know what I mean… Her older brother… Her father… I mean, it's in the past, but still, Guangxi, you cannot possibly share a future with her without reconciling with her past, and the truth about her. It's a package deal."

Xue Guangxi clenched his jaw. "That too."

"Hmmm."

"I would have to consider that too." Xue Guangxi admitted without directness.

'So the answer is a big no.' Mo Wenbin could only sigh in exasperation and did a face-palm while shaking his head.

"Yeah. Think about it first. Don't do anything reckless before you can commit to a decision." Mo Wenbin advised further.

"Whatever decision you've picked in the end, I just hope that you'll have enough sense of responsibility and decency like the grown-up that you are claiming to be and stick to it until the end. Don't you dare start something only to leave it hanging midway. Why do I feel so anxious about you two?" He ended it with a deep sigh.

Not long after that, Xue Guangxi left with his dog, Lala. Mo Wenbin gave him one final tap on his shoulder. "If you need someone to talk to just come over."

"Thanks, Wenbin-ge. Your'e the best, as always."

That night, sleep did not visit Xue Guangxi's mind. It was deep in thought, but he couldn't choose a better option to pursue.

Meanwhile, at the Chen mansion, Kang Sola tossed and turned on her bed as she tried to capture sleep in the middle of the night. Her heart could not stir off the agitation she had ever since that afternoon – no, ever since the night before.

She thrashed her arms and legs in the air ferociously and pulled her hair in vexation. Staring at the ceiling helplessly so, she thought, 'Why does he have to say those words thoughtlessly? Omo. Omo. Omo.'

'Nothing's gonna change.' She thought in the hopes of calming herself for fear of change. 'I so fervently hope so. I wish.'

She tossed and turned some more, her mind occupied with the broadcasting opportunity that was offered to her, and Xue Guangxi's thoughtless proposal.

'No, I shouldn't be thinking anymore about it. Sleep, Sola! Sleep! Of course, you have to grab the opportunity for your career. It's a chance of a lifetime to start over. As for the latter… Let Xue Guangxi worry about it! I already killed the idea!'

'And the broadcasting offer… Should I give it a try at least?'

'I should start preparing for it… Tomorrow.'

'Or should I?' 

Not long after, she fell asleep, at last, after tiring out her mind heedlessly.