Life’s Pareto Equilibrium - Between the Choppy Waves & Serene Field.

When I was younger I often asked what do I really want to be? And what kept me focus was my timeline and goals which I have charted out. Achievements in school, graduating from university, a great career and a wonderful family. An ideal dream that warrants effort and tenacity in every stages of life. Looking back from where I am sticking to these goals, grateful to be what I am and thankful for what I have. Nevertheless, in the course of it there were many lessons that inked my journey to this day.

Home to many deep Chinese Asian tradition - respect for grandparents and parents were deeply ingrained where big family like mine resides. Stories were passed down from generations. Grandfather owns a shipping company that had many Japanese and British visitors from all over the world. Though not born yet, stories of bungalow family gathering by the beach that grandfather used to house all our relatives and have chefs and maids hired for the weekend to entertain and take care of our relatives seems to always dominate our conversations during Chinese New Year. There were so many steep traditions to abide to the night before Chinese New Year where grandma would require us all the grandchildren to give prayers - we were a bunch of nuisance behind the scene running and chatting around until the elderly comes out to the living room, we had to quietly behave and show our greetings and respect lining up to greet both grandparents two hands holding a small Chinese tea cup uttering well wishes (which usually were shoved in to me from my parents)

"Ah Ma wishing you good health, happiness year round and may you give me many sweets in return" and my mum would give me a stare and a light pat for my cheekiness.

"cannot say like that" and the whole room would roar into laughter.

And there were messy dumplings I had to make with my cousins on a round table - I dread those days but looking back it was a moment when we could see the adults chatting - getting back together after being busy the whole year. My cousins and all would form a production line where one would pull the dumpling sheet, another would put the meat patty in, fold the dumpling and close it up when the adults are not looking.

"Children not like that! you must do the whole thing together why so ugly!" And the nagging continues until granny gets all of us to unwind our production line and perfect the skills from start to finish.

"You all better learn this up! make sure your other half does as well when you get married later" and we will look down nodding yes yes yes and as soon as gramma turns her back, my cheeky cousins would imitate this behind her back with his mouth yapping "bla bla bla" until grandma turns back again and we would quietly continue this ordeal forcing not to laugh in between.

Chinese New Year is a grand celebration, relatives from all walks of life gather back. I love to help my parents prepare the reunion dinner the night before - massive occasion for such a big family like ours, full of tradition. My aunties would pampered us usually bringing us many goodies. What I really like is despite being from a wealthy background and being well do to, grandma and grandpa always taught us that we all start from humble beginnings. Every penny and cent earn is hard sweat and hard work, hence even if we have made it to where we are never forget our origins and hence Chinese New Year also means giving back to the less fortunate more than our usual days. That permeates through time to the adults in the family and the little ones as well and that was tightly ingrained in my values as I grow up. I must say I miss childhood a lot.

On my dad's side, trade business is key as one of the pioneer in import and export of dried seafood given the proximity to the busy port. Business veins run in the family not until such that my grandpa passed away and grandma had to liquidate 3 of his bungalows that was left over and assets with the remaining property for us to stay in.

Yet as a child I felt privileged always being the centre of attention probably because of my demeanour of always being able to strike conversations across generations and a little cheeky yet cheerful character that grandmother loves.

I grew up with many generations of cats and dogs and grandma use to take these cats and dogs in. She says they are all living beings and should be cared for so i actually would say I am pretty acquainted with them. I've generations of them giving birth and knew of their habits and behaviour pretty well.

I must say I have had a pretty decent youth to begin with as well - as head student back then I've seen the politics run amongst the teachers. Lobbying for issues and matters amongst themselves. I have seen cliques of students the rich and famous versus the mediocre and less fortunate. The challenge is to always strike the balance not taking sides but pulling both sides to a good conclusion.

As a young graduate climbing the corporate ladder, day and night was about focus, knowing the perimeters and be clear of the next 1,3,5 years of goals and move towards that. Tenacity and focus is key.

The values drummed in from young was something that had moulded my view of the world, perhaps one would say too ideal and sheltered from the real view of the world. However, along the way I've learnt how to read and spot the wonders of corporate politics even at school and university but the accumulated experience is applied only when necessary.

Younger days was always packed with activities perfecting music skills, competitive sports, leadership camps and activities - there were no days without rest resulting in self discipline and push where both results and extra curricular activities had to be perfect. But then it was part and parcel of the bigger plan to get into the best university, qualify for the right positions, cream de la cream every possible thing was an aced. I would say looking back no regrets... many things that were sacrificed and opportunities and choices that require hard considerations but trust in decisions and to stick by it with clear conscience is one but many useful life lessons.

Music and art defines my soul - intertwine daily dose of medicine that I need to feel them so often. I thought when I meet that someone later in life, I would express my thoughts in words that I feel and string them into melody and song for the one person worthy of making me do that.

I should thank my lucky charm for always thinking ahead at such young age haha and that again propel the passion to master what I thought was super easy into something that had tested my patience to get to perfection of every piece that I had to play and create. The hunt for perfection means the music that I make must carry the right tune and draw out each audience's understanding of what was to be conveyed through each notes. Finding inspiration through the nature is what I've learnt from small, albeit being tweak at a later stage in life...i saw more than what i thought could change my view on things.

3 principles that was passed down through generations 'the don'ts' that can ruin family businesses and relationships and life in general which we hear it being repeated 1. no excessive drinking, 2. no gambling, 3. no affairs - heard this time and time again at family gatherings when the adults speaks about health of business and business expansion - the elderly ones would remind the adults 3 things in live not to mess with and unconsciously all the 3rd generations gets the messages clearly sounded out. And so these principles were carried through. As time evolves, the generations that were to take on and learn the ropes of running such huge family business somehow dwindled down a little - most of us decide to deviate and opt for professional careers...but the principles that was passed down continue to stay in the younger ones as they grow up in life. And the many values i treasure most is being humble no matter where we have got to in our lives, staying true and and genuine in our day to day dealings as how mum and dad would always put it. As long as you walk with your conscious clear, it doesn't matter what happens around you and that you remember your roots.