Chapter 12: WHO IS HE?

I get home and throw my lame body on my bed. I had work but I didn't care, I had things to do but I never gave a shit! Thing is I did not even feel like living anymore. My life was a total mess and I did not know how to live it anymore or should I say survive it.

I got to my laptop and start writing...

DEAR SKY

Did you ever feel so much pain? Where it's like you dead but you aren't? Like you not breathing but you are? Like you drowning,

drowning in silence.

I feel like that, I feel like that right now.

There's this ray of sunshine deep in my dark mind. This ray I call hope.

Hope that someday I will be happy but not faking it. Truely happy. People have goals,People have dreams...

But the only goal I had was to be happy. It was all I ever wanted and all I ever needed. What's terrifying about this thing called happiness is that it can be taken away from you in a second.Nothing lasts forever. Maybe forever is meant for memories and not people. People leave,they leave all the time but memories stay. Memories stay in our hearts forever. My parents are gone forever but I will forever keep them in  my heart no matter what. My brother would always talk about how money and power meant nothing in this world. He would tell me that it were the little things that mattered.

Kindness,love and most importantly happiness.

But how do you be kind in a world that's full of monsters who scar the innocent and make them bleed on those who never cut them. How do you be nice to the people who make you feel like ugggh!!!!

I hope and pray none of you feel the way I feel right now.

I hope that all of you get what you truely desire from this hell hole or should I say from this prison we are meant to live called life.

°CLOUD°

I put on my series that I'm so addicted to which is 13 reasons why. Yes I know it makes me cry but I like it sometimes. It reminds me of how harsh people can be. How everyone you love always ends up hurting you. How nothing lasts forever.

I hear my phone beep and I already know who's on the other side. I pick it up and look at the screen.

Anonymous: Who made you feel like screaming your guts out,pulling your hair out and slitting your wrist, the pain they give you is so deep,deeper than any knife could go and make you want to change who you are?

Cloud: well firstly leave me alone,secondly no I mean yes and thirdly why do you care? You don't even know me. Now get lost!

Anonymous: I'm already lost;). How about you tell me your real name Cloud?

Cloud:No

Anonymous:PLEASE?

Cloud: I SAID NO!

Anonymous: Okay,Okay don't shout.

Cloud:I'M NOT SHOUTING!!!!!!

Anonymous: oh yes you are! You know I really want to meet you in person I could just picture how cute you are!

I widen my eyes at my phone and give it a funny look as if he can see me.

Cloud: Cute! Don't you dare call me cute,I'll go to the police station.

Anonymous:😂Run sweet heart! But before you do that talk to me.

Cloud: Why do you even want to meet me or know who I am? I didn't even think anyone would be reading that stupid blog.

Anonymous: Don't call my favourite blog stupid! And I'm in love with you;)

Cloud:WHAT EVEN?

Anonymous:Relax angry bird, I'm in love with your words because they are special and true and I want you to meet a friend of mine. Well she's mad at me right now but yeah I get the feeling you two will get along well.

Cloud: Go sleep just go!

Anonymous:;)

Gosh I wonder who this idiot could be and when I find him I am going to strangle him! I don't like this guy.

"Then why were you smiling? " The voice says in my head. More like asks well whatever. I feel like I'm going crazy I mean I'm even starting to speak to myself.

Although...

Maybe just maybe I'm a little curious as to who he is.

WHO IS HE?

Okay maybe a little more than a little...

He did make me smile.

I can't stay here I need to get out of this stupid house. I go to my closet and try to choose something decent to wear and that's when I realize most of my clothes are  black. Black,cold and dark. I wear a mid thigh short black dress with thin straps. It's body fit and it's just perfect. I throw on my pair of black and white all stars as well. I grab my make up and make a smokey eye along with some red lipstick and eye liner. I have to say this look really makes my green eyes more defined.

I get in my car and drive to one of the parties  where the street racing takes place. Apparently one of the organizers were throwing a party.

********

I was trying to find something to drink and that's when I spot someone I don't want to see. Josh with his side bitch or whoever the hell she was. I hated Christine  she gives off a dark negative energy that makes a person want to run away. I quickly hide behind a tree so that they don't see me. The party was in a forest kind of a place with a building situated right in the center. Trees all around it. Kind of creepy if you ask me. Just outside were the streets where most of the illegal races took place.

I head in the building,a song that I like starts playing. I really don't know the name but these were some of the lyrics.

"Kiss me hard before you go

Summertime sadness

I just wanted you to know

That baby,you the best

Dancing in the dark in the Pail moonlight

Done my hair up real big,beauty queen style

High heels off,I'm feeling alive."

"I know if I go I'll die happy tonight." That was the one sentence in that song that kept playing in my head. Would I really be okay with dying? I mean what if it was right now would I be ready to go? There was something holding me back I just don't know what that was...