Surprise after Surprise

Guess who has two thumbs and is just now turning 12 months old?

THIS GUY!

The months flew by admittedly quite a bit faster than I expected but that came mostly from all the practice I was putting into bettering my ability to walk, getting the hang of my chakra sensing, meditating, and breaking the language barrier. Yes. I've finally begun to understand what most of everyone was saying. I still couldn't quite speak right but at least I could form semi-coherent words.

I guess my parents decided that since I've been developing way quickly that it would be beneficial to teach me the words and phrases of their common tongue. It was difficult since English was always my first language in my past life but being in a new environment that constantly required Japanese to communicate, I forced myself to learn it.

My walking has gotten better along with chakra sensing. While even my meditation has slightly improved slightly thanks to my steadily growing constitution. At least I could detect the warmth of my chakra in my belly. It was far from chakra control, and I still couldn't draw it, but at least I can get a head start to learn about how much I have in my reserves and begin estimating the limits that I'll reach as I keep growing.

Still couldn't deduce where that other chakra signature was. You know, the one that continued to give me the heebie-jeebies. I felt like I was being watched by someone.

For what reasons I had no freaking clue since I was literally born just twelve months ago. Hopefully its not one of those ROOT guys that I barely remembered from the series. Yeah, I didn't really pay much attention or care about the whole Danzo and ROOT subplots that happened in Naruto. At best I knew some of it through Sai during his introduction, but after that I ceased to stop caring. About Sai and ROOT because after that you know the usual fast paced routine of Kishimoto's work.

Le Gasp! Asuma died! Sasuke's training finally paid off after he killed his dying older brother who turned out to not be the true villain! Jiraiya dies and Naruto gets a sick new power to defeat Pain and yada yada yada…

I hear that there were tons of shady shit that ROOT did the background, but I didn't care since like most people, I was mostly invested in the series to learn if Naruto will finally bring Sasuke back to the village and become Hokage.

Pfft the best that I can remember about Danzo was that he was a dick that wanted to be Hokage but failed to even keep the title long enough before Sasuke pushed the old man to attempt a Sealing jutsu equivalent of a kamikaze attack. But I do remember his methods of training emotionless shinobi to act his own independent force to be fucked up.

Having children form a bond then proceed to force them to kill each other? That sounds like the opposite of the Will of Fire that the series tried to instill into core themes. The only reason why I wasn't panicking over this possibility was because I'm technically secure.

For one, I'm a Senju. Yeah, that might not be a detailed explanation, but the name itself has a lot to impact. My new family obviously loves me, and I'm sure that my mother would straight up murder whoever kidnapped while my father *SHUDDERS!* I don't know much about him since he always seems jovial and downright kind, but those moments when he drops that serene disposition were moments that I realize that I really was in a ninja world.

They would miss me. And this isn't some desperate justification to reassure myself. This was a downright fact. They were all happy I was born and wouldn't NOT bring up the topic of my sudden disappearance. Which only endeared myself more to my new family.

So, I paid the odd presence no mind and warily considered it whenever I felt a detectable shift in their chakra. It felt windy yet slithery? Like I said it's weird.

But enough about sensing weird chakra and that sappy heartfelt crud, it's time to celebrate my first birthday! And you know what that means…?

Cake! Oh, wonderful and delicious cake. No more will I have to stomach mushy baby food and drinking nothing but baby formula. For today, I will be indulging in sweet, delicious cake!

…Oh yeah and I also had the pleasure of having a very lengthy list of guests that came over to celebrate, and these weren't your ordinary guests. I could tell by their appearances and their various shades of chakra that they were shinobi from other clans.

Now how could I be so sure? Well in the middle of greeting the guests, I was in my mother's arms while father exchanged pleasantries with a few of the early arrivals and there I saw them.

Yup, also in the arms of their parents were little baby Shikamaru, Choji, and…wait why was Ino's cloth blue and wasn't she supposed to be a girl?

…

…Oh!

Okay, I just worked things out in my head. You see I knew the world I was in, and a bit of the time-period because of Tsunade's young age, but I never realized the specific generation I was born into. To specify there's Kakashi's generation with Obito, Rin, Gai, Asuma, and Kurenai. Then there's the OG generation from Part 1 and 2 of Naruto such as Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Hinata, Kiba and the rest of them.

For my situation, I was born in neither of them because I was looking at a napping Shikaku, a fresh fruit snacking Choza, and a curious-eyed Inoichi. The future heirs of the Nara, Akimichi, and Yamanaka clans, and the fathers to Shikamaru, Choji, and Ino. I didn't know how to react to this revelation at first, but I simply shrugged it off. There was cake to be had, and despite knowing next to jack all about what happens during the period before and during the Second Shinobi World War (beyond a few specifics), I decided to just go with things.

I didn't really have a plan, nor did I need one yet. I'm still a baby and no matter how much I fester on things; I can't worry myself to death over things that are bound to happen in the years to come. Right now, I wanted to stuff my face in cake and damn anything that will get me anxious and dreading the things to come.

Though I still don't remember the specifics of my death, this was my second chance at life, and I'll be sure to enjoy these little moments the best that I can.

More guests started pouring and by then I started recognizing a couple of familiar (semi-familiar, it was a little weird seeing everyone so life-like) faces. Like the Hyuga clan, which wasn't hard to miss based on those white eyes of theirs. It was a family of five that arrived, and they were dressed in those traditional Japanese yukata or were they kimono?

Either way if that didn't scream nobility than their attitudes certainly did. Both the man and woman, who certainly seemed about a decade older than my own parents, cordially presented themselves as they were invited inside. Perhaps a tad bit too cordial. I've been alive in my past life long enough to know when someone's being polite for the sake of it or being polite to keep up appearances.

Immediately it clicked for me in one single word: Politics.

It was odd to think that this many people came over just for my birthday. Not that I was discounting my parents and their ability to make friends because again they're great. But it wasn't farfetched to believe that those invited only came as a formality since it's the Senju clan, one of the main progenitors to Konoha's conception.

They might have come to celebrate my addition to the family and potential ranks to Konoha's shinobi corps but their intentions weren't fully selfless. Well, they are ninjas but still.

What did these types of guests sought out for coming? I had no clue. Better tying relationships between clans which meant better cohesion and blah blah blah… I was never too into the messy game of politics. Until I must, I won't be stepping in that trainwreck.

Thankfully their brunette daughter garbed in a purple kimono(?)/yukata(?) seemed much more genuine with her greeting as she cradled one baby in her arm while her mother lovingly held another bundle of joy in her arms. Looking closely, I noticed that the two infants looked quite literally the same and immediately deduced that they were Hiashi and Hizashi Hyuga!

Wait, they had an older sister? But how does that work out for the future? Does that mean she's the future clan head? If so, then would that make Hiashi also another part of the Side branch with Hizashi or…

Ugh, I just told myself that I wouldn't stick my nose in politics!

By the by the daughter's name was Hanako Hyuga. Apparently, she's a classmate of Nawaki, who immediately ran back into the house from outside to greet her after somehow hearing her voice. After getting reprimanded by father for running in the house and not properly greeting the whole family, Nawaki quickly straightened his posture and seriously bowed to greet them. It was done in such a stiff and silly fashion that it earned a wave of various responses.

Hanako's parents were…unimpressed. Come on you two if you looked any stiffer, you'd be confused for statues. Creepy-eyed statues *Shudders!*.

Father was doing his best not to sigh away all the happiness that was supposed to be put toward my B-day.

Mother simply rolled her eyes and shook her head with a wry smile.

The baby twins were just looking about the place. The curious little guys.

And I decided to indulge my dork of a cousin with some laughter. What? I've been a victim to awkward silence before and there was no way in hell, I'm about to leave my cousin to such a fate!

Hanako had the right idea, but her reasons might have been a little different than my own. My laughter was a single burst of joyful giggling while Hanako's was a little uncontrollable even though he wasn't THAT funny and…were her cheeks red?

Huh. It would seem that my cousin has an admirer. This will be good for future reference…

WINK!

After having Nawaki lead the Hyuga family into the main room where the party was being held, my parents continued to greet so many guests. Another new arrival being a very familiar face. I gaped at the sight of the gray-haired pony-tailed man garbed in Jonin fatigues and a mask that covered half his face flashed in on our doorstep.

It took me a while to work out that this wasn't Kakashi, but in actuality…

"Sakumo, you made it!" Never had I seen father so elated and nostalgic as he rushed over to hug the slightly taller man. Thankfully, Sakumo Hatake wasn't as socially challenged as his future son and happily returned the hug. Now I couldn't see his smile, but I could tell he was doing the act through his eyes.

"How could I? You've been pestering me to never forget the date every chance we met this week."

"I had to, after all you just came back from that yearlong mission and missed most of everything."

Scratching the back of his head, the man sheepishly laughed. "Yeah, sorry about not being there that day when it finally happened."

Father waved it off. "No no, I understand. That S-class mission to infiltrate and spy on the current activities going on in Kirigakure was too important for you to simply drop on the spot. We understand." I didn't miss the way that Sakumo's eyes slightly narrowed despite his smile (through his eyes) never waning.

"Thanks, but I wasn't aware that you were privy to such a classified information." Uh…I hope father didn't mean for that slip of the tongue to happen. But considering the lack of guests that weren't coming in, I'd have to say…

"Well of course, considering my time as the Second seated member to Shishou is nearing it's end, it was only natural for me to start gradually preparing for my new promotion." I had no clue which force in the village that father exactly worked but it must be some position that he's getting because Sakumo quickly changed from incredulous suspicion to utter elation.

"Ah…so it's finally happened, huh? Congratulations. Though I find it hard to believe that he of all people would step down so quickly." Huh? Who were they talking about? Father does mention someone called Shishou whenever he had some free time to cradle me and talk, but he never specified their name.

Well not like he needed to when around me since I've barely met him. I think…I dunno the first fews days after my birth were a blur especially when I was brought home. I recall be carried in the arms of others, both young and old. But I could never recall their faces since I was still developing my sight.

Couldn't even verify them through their chakra signature since my newfound sensory capabilities kicked in months after that game of "Hot Kisuke" (A play on the word hot potato, yeah, I couldn't think of anything clever) with all those people who carried me as a newborn.

"Again, gradual. It hasn't quite been announced to the whole cell, so I'm to take up the task once I've gotten a proper handle on the new responsibilities that come with the new position." Father chuckled and scratched his cheek. "He's already made it expressly clear that he'll still be around to "profusely" supplying me his council once I've taken the reins as director."

"Ah, yes, "profusely" meaning should things get out of hand under your watch, he'll be there to keep you in line and on task." Sakumo chided and air quoted his fingers, and wow, I never thought I would see my father pout like that.

"I won't be that much of a bother, Sakumo…"

"Ah, yes we can only hope that to be the case lest I have to help out a platoon to track you down like five years ago."

"If I remember correctly, you were more than on board to assist me along with Shishou."

"True, but that's only because fate deemed it worthy to offer you the chance by making it so it was impossible to pull out while adding another party to the conflict to even the odds." Sakumo pinched the bridge of his nose. "Surely you were born under such a special star…"

"AHEM!"

Before the two men could continue with their weird friendly banter, a loud cough emanating from mother stole everyone's attention. With a deep sigh, Sakumo handed father what looked to be a gift before he looked over at mother.

As soon the man's eyes met my mother's a tense silence filled the room. Uh-oh, was there some hidden animosity between these two?

"Speaking of one-thirtieth of that additional party. Hello, C, it's nice to see that you're doing well."

"And its nice to hear that you've returned from the Land of Water safely, Sakumo-san. All I ask is that you don't try to ruin my little Ki-tan's special day with that wet dog smell you probably got by hanging out with all those ninken you surround yourself with."

Damn, mother you didn't have to go off that hard. He just greeted you.

"C…" Father reprimanded mother…tiredly? What? And why was Sakumo laughing.

"It's quite alright, Tanjiro. I would have been more worried if she hadn't retained some of the ire since we last talked."

And so, after being placed in the arms of Sakumo and getting properly introduced, I met one of my Godfathers. Yep, be prepare to be jelly everyone. I'm Sakumo Hatake's godson. I really wanted to know how he knew and befriended my father, but I received another answer in the form of mother trying to muttering something about "Tigers being way cooler than a couple of mangy mutts".

So that was the cause for her earlier comment… Yeah, I can see that being the case for mother. There wasn't a single day where she wouldn't employ her summoning contract with the Tiger clan or was it called tribes? Either it was the place were old Hageshi and his compatriots came over to either "hang out" with mother or be stuck with babysitting me while she's off to attend to business.

"S-Saku…mo…" I was starting to get the hang of things with speaking again. This was the perfect time to practice speaking and endear myself to my honorary uncle (I mean being godfather made you one, right?).

"Huh." Sakumo quirked an eyebrow. "Barely reaching one and can already speak. You've outdone yourself, Tanjiro. You actually helped gave birth to a smart if not odd kid." Sakumo intently continued to examine my calm mien as I curiously looked up at him.

"I don't know how to feel about that backhanded complimented." Father dully noted. Wait was he deadpanning? Huh, so that's what it looks like.

"It's a compliment and it's to be expected. Put you and C together and you get this peculiar little guy…" I knew he was playing around and before mother, who looked ready to verbally tear into the guy for outright calling me "weird", I decided to help prevent the stir.

All it took was me scrunching my face and mumbling. "Doggy…smelly…" The reactions were priceless. I didn't miss the way that Sakumo's eyebrow twitched at my remark or how he sharply glanced at father, who tried his best to contain his laughter. Unlike father, mother wasn't even trying to hide her laughter as she insistently took me from Sakumo's arms before the man could cover me more in his doggy stench.

Don't know if I either won or lost points with Sakumo during that whole debacle, but the result made it worth it.

Sakumo didn't need a guide to the main room as he was already accustomed to the Senju compound's infrastructure to navigate his way around. Really have to ask father how they exactly became friends. I probably won't have those convenient flashbacks like in the manga/anime since this is now real life, but I can visualize things with my imagination well enough.

More people came in and it was getting easier to verify who belonged which what clan.

A man with his son carrying a little baby girl entered. They both possessed those red fanged clan markings on their faces while followed by three canines. Two of them were quite large while covered in midnight black fur with purple eyes while the last one was a gray furred pup that stuck closely to the boy.

No brainer to know that they were from the Inuzuka Clan and in the boy's arms was his little sister, Tsume Inuzuka, the future mother to Kiba Inuzuka, and apparently the younger sister to Koga Inuzuka. That's the name of the boy, who's carrying her.

How do I know this you might ask? Well, ever since I started to learn to translate the language, I finally started to understand Nawaki's tireless rants about the kid and how he's impulsive and a downright jerk with that "alpha dog" attitude of his.

I can sense an eventual headache coming because mother saw potential with Koga's arrival just to screw with Nawaki by keeping his arrival a secret until she could drop the bomb on the poor knucklehead. Father and admittedly I wasn't amused by the idea. I only hope that Tsunade will be available after helping Great Aunty Mito with the cooking to break up the inevitable arguing the two boys were bound to get into.

After greeting a couple more guests, my parents and I were just about to join the party until the final guest had arrived. I had no clue who it was even with the thundering steps emerging from outside. But as soon as our front door slammed open, my brain stopped for a moment to gawk at the glorious beast that graced me with his presence.

"TANJIRO, MY ETERNAL RIVAL, I HAVE ARRIVED!"

The green jumpsuit, orange leg warmer, and those thick and bushy eyebrows. Now if it weren't for that somewhat bulbous nose, bristling mustache-goatee combo, and yellow scarf, I would have been hard pressed to say that I was in the presence of MIGHT FUCKING GAI!

The utter beast that pushed back Madara Uchiha himself when he literally held the reigns of what this world considered godhood!

…But instead, it was Might Dai…

Meh, I'll take what I can get.

"Oh, Dai, you're here. I'm glad you could make it." Father happily greeted while mother gave an uproariously laughed and was a little if not more enthused by the appearance of the future father of the Green Beast of the Hidden Leaf.

"About time someone who knows how to live arrived. How've you been Dai!"

"Fantastic, C-san! I see that rigors of childbirth have yet to burn out your electrifying passion!"

"Hmph, damn straight. Just the other day I sent some little shit peeking in on me and Tsuna-chan flying using only my pinkie finger. Up until that point, I'd have to use my whole hand just to knock the idiot halfway across the village." Oh, yeah, that was the day that I technically met Jiraiya. I might have met him before when I was still a really new newborn when he decided to visit Tsunade. But that meeting was cut short when in the middle of washing me, the poor fool decided to peep in through the windows of our bathhouse.

Huh, it makes me wonder when I'll meet Orochimaru. I've yet to see him anywhere since I was born. Not that I was in a rush since the dude left a pretty nasty impression of himself in Part 1 of the Naruto manga. Fingers crossed that he's at least a decent 13 year old like Tsunade and Jiraiya.

…Scratch that, lets hope that he's a descent 13 year old like Tsunade.

"Haha!" Wow, Gai really does inherit his hamminess from his dad. Must be genetics at work. "As expected of my rival's chosen partner! Such a blatant display of youth." I don't know what's youthful about my mother punting some lecherous boy like a football, but you just do you, Dai, you just do you.

In a dramatic flourish, the bushy browed man spun in place and somehow pulled from out of his flak jacket (wait, wait hold on I recall that he was one of the shinobi in Konoha called the "Eternal Genin" how exactly did he get that?) a wrapped gift. All while doing that darn "Nice Guy" pose.

"Here you go, after many hours of deliberation and running 100 hundred laps around the village on my hands, I've managed to acquire little Kisuke his present!"

I could have sworn I saw father's smile twitch a little. "Dai, you really didn't need to go through all of that just because I reminded you about Kisuke-chan's first birthday!"

"No, it was entirely necessary my rival! For me to have forgotten the wonderful day that you and C-san conceived your child was absolutely inexcusable! Which is why I worked myself to the bone as recompense for my slight towards our years long rivalry!" Ah that would explain his tapped hands and arms.

"A-And I understand Dai but remember you can't keep constantly pushing your body like that or else it will quit on you." Father seriously scolded his friend. "You remember what happened the last time you did that, yes?"

"Ah, yes, it was unfortunate that we could not test our mettle against each other during the Chunin Exams as we promised." Dai sighed, the energy drained out of him before he sucked it all back in and return to doing that nice guy pose of his. "But I managed to cross the gap between us the following year and reached you in no time flat. Now I just have to do so once more before I can be on your same level my rival!"

"That's because Utatane-sensei addressed why your team lost in the second round." Father shook his head in exasperation while Dai actually looked mortified by some distant memory. "If I hadn't mention anything, then you would have exhausted yourself to death by the time of the next exams being held."

Ah, so that explains it. Well, I don't know the full story on how exactly my father got to meet Dai, but I can piece a few things together on how Dai received that snazzy flak jacket of his. You see, in canon, I wondered how exactly Might Dai never became a Jonin like Might Gai despite secretly working tirelessly to unlock and master all his Eight Inner Gates.

And the reason was because he tirelessly placed all his eggs into a basket. Now its not bad to focus on a particular skill to improve but to do so tirelessly at the detriment of one's health was no-no. From what the show and the wiki stated about the human body's inner gates, each use would remove a limiter in the body and create a massive drawback as a result.

So how my father must have contributed to handling that issue was by tattling the specifics to Dai's Jonin sensei before he did more harm to his body through his usual training routine. And from what I read and saw from the series, the Might family's idea of casual training was downright brutal.

How father knew about Dai's secret training? I have no clue.

Why did Dai refer to father as his eternal rival? Again, no clue.

I'm really going to play the curious kid card to the max when I grow up just to get the juicy details of how father knows this many people. Seriously, I must know so I can account for any more changes to what I knew from the Naruto series. Because as my old football coach used to say to my team whenever we lost a game by not practicing hard the week before: "It's the little things that matter".

Either way, Dai was a real nice guy and his hamminess was even starting to affect me too. Though I did get just as exasperated as my dad when he started to set up these weird punishment workouts to inflict upon himself if I either loved or hated his gift.

If I liked his gift, he'll go running 500 laps around the village while wearing heavy weights.

If I disliked his gift, he'll go running 500 laps around the village on his hands while wearing heavy weights and dressed up as a clown as recompense for almost forgetting my birthday.

So, I picked the first option because I didn't want the guy to work himself to death and because I fucking hate clowns. No, there's no story behind the phobia, clowns can go die in a fire.

And in an opposite manner to Sakumo, I spoke the disjointed word of "Youth" to Dai and had the man hopping in excitement and already commenting about the burning fire in my still developing green eyes. I liked Dai, he's an alright and my parents thought the same. Though my father did seem more exasperated/worry with the man's challenges and self-inflicted hellish training.

It was a nice sharp contrast to Kakashi's initial annoyance and indifference to Gai's challenges.

I swear meeting all these people so early into my new life was beginning to get to me especially when some things did change. It wouldn't surprise me if the next big surprise didn't faze me at all.

And so, my birthday party commenced. The adults were off talking about shinobi stuff and politics while I was busy mingling with fellow infant brethren. Sadly, it was all one-sided for me from all parties. Apparently, I was the only one with the psyche of an adult so that left no constructive conversation to be had.

Just random observations of the surroundings and blurted out words to point out those surroundings if a gurgle was not the immediate response. The only word that baby Tsume could muster was "doggie" while pointing at her older brother and his ninken getting into another spat with Nawaki. Besides them, the only one who could have been a little more responsive was Shikkaku and that lazy butt has been fast asleep the whole party.

Soon the food was ready and brought into the main room where everyone could enjoy themselves. Seeing the cake in the arms of Great Aunt Mito, I made a beeline to her while Tsunade whacked Nawaki on the head for making trouble and whacked Koga for laughing at Nawaki and being a dick on this special day.

"Ca…ke! O…ba…chan…!" I gleefuly exclaimed as I ran up to the elder lady's legs and hugged them through her white yukata. It might be an inherent trait amongst the Uzumaki clan, but seeing her smile really warmed me up inside.

"Ah, Kisuke-chan! Happy Birthday to you!" She happily sang. It killed me to know that such a sweet woman was going to pass away so soon. Its not going to be for a while and she pretty much did live a long life since Konoha's conception, but still…

Bah! I won't let this be ruined on such a dour note. Eventually food and most of CAKE was had, but being the gracious birthday boy that I was, I decided to be patient and give the other infants a slice of strawberry cake first. I got a bunch of weird looks from the adults in the room while my parents simply shrugged it off.

Yeah, they've become accustomed to my weirdness.

The other infants either enjoyed their cake (Choza, Hiashi, and Hizashi), had fun throwing it (Tsume and Inoichi), or just plain out ignore it (Shikaku, the lazy bastard). For those that wasted there cake, I only had pity for them since it was their loss, and rightfully so as the dessert was positively divine. Everything eventually winded down once the presents were opened and night was approaching.

Once all the families who visited were seen off, Graunty Mito was helped to her room to be placed for bed, and Tsunade finished dragging Nawaki to bed; I was left alone with my parents to enjoy each other's company. It was a long day, and I really enjoyed myself.

That was one birthday I would never forget, and apparently the surprises weren't ending since my father had one more trick up his sleeve.

"Kiyo-chan!"

…

"Hm?" Father blinked in confusion.

"Finally going to tell that precious little kouhai of yours to come out from the shadows?" Mother teased while bouncing me in her arms.

"Yeah, the duration of the mission has been completed with this year already passed. Unless you still feel unwell and require the surveillance to be extended."

"Hmmm…nah. I'm back to being fighting fit and I find the thought of getting anymore extra help from a brat like that to be a drag…" Mother sighed.

Hold on, we've been being watched!?

"If you say so." Father shrugged and continued to call that name. There continued to be no response until a loud sigh could be heard from…somewhere in the room and-

"Yes?" Holy crap! I jumped at the delicate and annoyed rasp of a voice that emerged from the figure who suddenly showed up in the middle of the room. I was both frightened and shocked. Frightened because holy crap that was fast! Shocked because I knew this guy, well, only by their chakra signature since that weird Anbu(?) mask of their covered their face, it was a weird animal that I couldn't describe but the most glaring features were those fangs.

The black hooded cloak they wore also made it hard to identify their gender through their body type.

But more importantly this person was that unnerving chakra signature that I always detected around the compound watching me. So, was father responsible for assigning them to watch over mother and I? If so, then awesome! Did that make father an Anbu captain or leader to have that kind of leeway to issue that mission? Because I doubt there's a D-rank mission for that long-extended period to watch over us like that.

"Ah, Kiyo-chan, you heard me."

"Yes, I did. I would appreciate it if you would refer to me by my proper designation, senpai."

"Nonsense, we've known each other for long enough to forgo formality especially when I was the one who issued this months-long assignment. So just relax…"

"…" It looked like this "Kiyo-chan" wanted to do anything but that if their deafening silence was a clue.

"But knowing you, I'd say that you're more relaxed when cutting to the heart of the matters, so I'll give into your demands…for now." Father chuckled while the Anbu(?) gave out another drawn out sigh. You know a small amount of happiness escapes if you keep sighing like that.

Coughing, father raised his head to seriously regard the masked shinobi. "Snake." From exasperated to attentive and straightened stiff like an arrow, the shinobi stood at attention. "As of now your mission to surveil and protect C Senju has been completed. You are now officially relieved of your duties until further notice, understood?"

"Hai, Tanjiro-sama." Huh, I've never seen someone do a perfect bow like that. So graceful too, this guy must be super poised.

"I'm sure going to miss you trying to burn holes through my head with your eyes, little Snakey. Thank you for everything~." I didn't know if mother was genuine or being cheeky, but its effect was effective.

"…" The Anbu(?) showed no outward reaction but the simmered stirring that I felt from their chakra suggested slight…no suppressed irritation.

"C…" Father lightly reprimanded mother. Whoops looks like he's still in serious mode to let any of mother's usual shenanigans go by.

"I know, I know…" Yet mother conceded lazily.

"Your reward will be issued to you upon your return to base. If you have anything to add, be sure to add it to your report. That is all." Bowing once more, the Anbu(?) turned to leave. "But not before doing one last thing…"

"…Yes?"

H-Huh? Wait, when did father pluck me from mother's arms? And why was he taking me over to that shady Anbu guy?

"Say hi to Kisuke-chan!" Father held me out.

What?

"What?" We're on the same wavelength Anbu guy.

"You might have observed him from afar, but the two of you have yet to officially meet. So, carry him." I think I could hear mother snickering in the background.

"No."

"Please."

"No."

"Please, Kiyo-chan."

"That is currently not my designation."

"Ah right. Ahem! Snake, as your superior, I order you to hold Kisuke-chan."

"Senpai that is an abuse of your power."

"So? I'm not hearing a no."

"My mission has already been completed. Unless you officially construct another, I am free to deny this request."

"Kiyo-chan, I'm just asking you to hold my child. Its not going to kill you to do this one thing."

"No."

"Please."

"No." Wow this is just going in circles.

"Please."

"N-."

"Do it for me." Father brightly smiled and…what the hell! The Anbu(?) guy's chakra signature felt so twitchy. What reaction did dad get out of them?

"…I…ugh…" Seriously that worked on you, dude? "Fine…"

Father victoriously smiled and handed me to the masked shinobi.

…

…

…

This was by far one of the most awkward moments in my new life and I had to endure getting my diapers changed and being washed. The guy wasn't even carrying me right, they were holding me out at a distance while we stared at each other in complete silence.

"…"

"…" I tilted my head to get better look at their eyes through the holes of their mask. Huh? Golden irises with…slitted pupils?

Wait only one person I know from the series had those distinct eyes and they-.

"Kiyo-chan, he's not going to bite you. Hold him closer…"

"…Like this?" I was in the arms of a woman. Even through this large cloak, I could obviously feel the swell of their chest. At least they weren't as big and as suffocating as Tsunade's.

"Yeah, there you go."

…

…

We went back to staring at each other. I seriously did not know how to outwardly react when staring into the cold mask above me. Their creepy eyes were the only thing I got to an expression from the guy.

"He's not doing anything."

"Maybe you should try removing your mask so he can see your face."

The masked shinobi grumbled something before doing just that, using one arm to cradle me while the other removed their mask. Father decided at that time to add say something.

"Kisuke-chan," No. "meet my kouhai-." Fucking. "Kiyohime!" Way!

As soon as the mask came off and the hood was slipped down. My eyes widened as the true identity of who was holding me came to light. As the moonlight from outside shone over their pale and beautifully delicate features, I was rightfully terrified and in having a bit of a meltdown.

Terrified because I was in the arms of Orochimaru! The freaking pedo-snake that was obsessed with living forever through implanting his essence into talented boys and girls with special Kekkai Genkai (Bloodline Limits).

The only reason I won't scream, and cry was because apparently my father trusted her and for some reason she works for and respects(?) my father. The little back and forth earlier proved that they shared a cordial relationship.

…Oh, you guys must have caught that.

She.

Yes. That was the reason for why I'm starting to wonder if I'm losing it because for some goddamned reason, Orochimaru in this world…is a woman!

"G-Greetings, Kisuke…" Orochi-no, Kiyohime's expression tensed as she did her best to regard me with as much care as she possibly can. Yeah, I don't doubt that they wouldn't struggle with holding a baby. I'm more concerned about the possibility of her dissecting one.

Okay, I can be cool. All I have to do was keep my head on straight and above all else, temper my nerves before I-

"Ehehehe!"

Dammit, I had one job!