Chapter 132 - Big Sister Qi Yue’s Advice

"Calm down Little Bird," Qi Yue chided. "Drink your tea. She injured her soul by not giving herself enough time to reintegrate between the first and second time she touched her past. However long she spends in the past, she must wait twice as long before touching it again. This isn't the first time she's broken this rule," Qi Yue said with a sad shake of her head. "We learned about it the hard way long ago, but the consequences this time were still severe. I'm healing her now," Qi Yue said, gesturing to the purple energy surrounding Ao Wen. "But she's still barred from touching her past again for a full year."

"Good. I don't want her going through any more for quite a while," Feng Xi said firmly, her emerald eyes flashing with determination. 

"Mmm, I like those eyes," Qi Yue said, reaching out a hand and gently caressing Feng Xi's face as she stared into her emerald eyes. "Fierce, protective of her, but aware that you mostly need to protect her from herself."

"Is she always like this then? Always letting herself suffer so she can help someone else? Will every life she touches be painful the way Cong Daiyu's was?" If that were the case, if every time it would be like when Ao Wen became Cong Daiyu, then Feng Xi never wanted Ao Wen to touch her past again! Her present already had enough pain with her parents. She didn't need anything more piled on top of that. 

"Of course she is," Qi Yue smiled sadly. "Isn't that why we love her? Because she has endless courage to do more than anyone else could imagine if it will help just one more person. She'll take on the whole world to protect the weak and innocent but she'll fight gods themselves if it's to protect you or me. How could we not give such a woman our hearts?"

Feng Xi sighed deeply. "So, you truly are her wife?" The way Qi Yue described Ao Wen, was exactly the way she'd have described Ao Wen herself, and the warm tone in her voice, the deep love, it sang in Feng Xi's ears like a Heavenly chorus played on a hundred perfect zithers. It was love so deep, so tested that it had become the purest expression of love that she'd ever felt. It made her feel completely inadequate and brought tears to her eyes when she thought that one day, she'd have to return Ao Wen to this woman. Suddenly, Feng Xi felt like little more than a bed warmer, a mistress, some kind of thief stealing Ao Wen away from her proper lover. Next to this love… love that crossed so many lifetimes, what was she? 

"Ah ah, none of that Little Bird," Qi Yue chided. "Drink your tea, it protects you from being swept away by me."

"It can have that effect?" Feng Xi said, embarrassed at how many of the things she'd said to this Big Sister must sound like stupid questions with obvious answers. "Of course it can, you're an alchemist too aren't you," she said, more to remind herself than to actually ask. Taking a sip of tea, Feng Xi spent several minutes collecting herself before she asked another question. "You said you have some advice for me?"

"I do," Qi Yue said with a teasing smile. "Do you know that in all but one of her lives, she's irresistibly ticklish along the bottom of her left ribs? Feel free to torture her with that one," she added with a wink, before continuing more seriously. "Ao Wen has the potential to become a force of nature within your life," she said, letting her teasing smile melt into the wise counsel of a big sister. "She worries about becoming lost in her past. You need to worry about becoming lost in her."

"I already feel like I have to work twice as hard just to keep up with her," Feng Xi said with a heavy sigh, cradling the cup of tea in her hands to draw comfort from its warmth. "She became a mid-stage Brawler after spending time as Jun Biyu and I became an Understudy at the same time. Now though, She's an Alchemy Novice, and a Brawler, and a Drifter and I'm just barely beginning to cultivate my family's Archery method," she said, letting the pent-up feelings of inferiority pour out. 

"She doesn't need me," Feng Xi said dejectedly. "She'll need me even less in the future. I'm not like you, I haven't known her for lifetimes, or even the others like me who have still known her for longer. What happens if she moves beyond me? What if some day comes and I can't keep up. Or worse. Did she tell you that someone just kidnapped her father to threaten her? He was a powerless mortal against a cultivator, there was nothing he could do to fight back. She almost destroyed herself with a mad plan to rescue him," Feng Xi said, tears forming in her eyes at the memory of Ao Wen's madness and desperation. "What do I do when the day comes that I'm a liability to her? When people target me to get to her because I'm too weak?"

"That, my Little Bird, is exactly what I mean about being lost in her," Qi Yue said gently, reaching out and wrapping her hands around Feng Xi's. "You said that you're an Understudy, what arts do you practice and what are you doing to advance them?"

"I've discussed this with her," Feng Xi said. "There's a sect that I'm going to try to join, the Myriad Arts Pavilion. There's no greater place to study the zither and I'm hoping to expand my arts there as well. I know I can only go so far without a proper teacher," she said sincerely. 

"Four Arts, Myriad Expressions?" Qi Yue asked. The moment she saw recognition in Feng Xi's eyes, she smiled deeply. "Say nothing to Ao Wen, she'll find her own way back to our sect. If she figures it out on her own, you don't need to deny it, she likely already suspects the truth. Most likely, you've found one of the mortal realm chapter houses of the Myriad Paths Divine Sect. Let me give you two things," Qi Yue said, placing a finger on Fang Xi's forehead and summoning a wisp of purple energy. 

"The first gift is a soul mark. You can reveal this to the sect master of the Myriad Arts Pavilion if you have any trouble entering the sect or while you are there. People who can identify the mark will recognize you as a disciple of the main sect and should accord you a reasonable amount of respect," she explained. 

"Does that mean I'm a disciple of the sect now?" Feng Xi asked. Somehow, it didn't feel exciting or rewarding at all. It felt more like she'd discovered a back door to take advantage of without earning anything.

"No, it means that you have a safeguard against the sect treating you improperly if you encounter fools. You should still plan to enter the sect on your own merits," Qi Yue reassured her. "The second gift should help. I've left a cultivation method in your Inner World. I will not call it the greatest zither art the world has ever known, but it was developed by Mei Lien to teach new disciples. As mortal cultivation methods go, it can be said to be without flaw. Consider this a greeting gift from your Big Sister." 

"World Shaping Illusory Melodies?" Feng Xi asked, looking at the manual she'd been gifted in wonder. Her own cultivation manual was only suitable for first and second-stage cultivators but this one looked to be complete, not only with a path to becoming an Artium but it even held a section on preparing for ascension to immortality! 

"A talented zither player makes their audience experience things far beyond just the emotions that result from tugging on heartstrings. You can pull them into a world of your own making," Qi Yue explained. "Little Bird, whatever you do, don't become her shadow. It will be such a waste of your talents if you do. Your place is beside her, with the rest of your sisters, not drifting behind her like a stray cat," she said with a mischievous smile. 

"Thank you, Big Sister Yue," Feng Xi said, feeling the genuine warmth and affection radiated by this older woman before the strange room began to fade and Feng Xi returned to real sleep. 

"Keep her safe Little Bird," Feng Xi heard Qi Yue say as the world darkened. "We're all counting on you to guard her heart until she finds her way home."