Man Vs Wild - Gojo Satoru Version

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction based on multiple existing anime/manga series. The characters and settings used in this story belong to their respective owners and creators, and no copyright infringement is intended. This story is purely for entertainment purposes and is not intended to infringe upon any existing intellectual property. I do not own any of the original works that inspired this fanfiction, and I fully support the original creators and their works.

-Story Start-

-Third Person POV-

"Let's see~! Let's see~!" Satoru surveyed the landscape with the Six Eyes, scanning the area for any signs of intelligent life.

After a thorough examination, he concluded, "Nothing, huh? It seems it's just me and the beasties out here."

Redirecting his attention to the most extensive collection of mysterious energy-filled creatures, he spotted a small pack of bears about 3 kilometers to his left.

"Noted," he muttered to himself as he gently descended back into the forest, landing softly on his feet.

"Now, which way to go then~? Hmm?" Satoru tilted his head mischievously, contemplating his next move.

Suddenly, he exclaimed, "Oh, I know!" A metaphorical lightbulb appeared above his head as he reached into his pocket.

He retrieved a coin and held it in his hand, announcing, "If it's Heads, I'll head towards the bears. Tails, I'll go in the opposite direction." He nodded confidently, proud of his decision.

With a flick of his wrist, Satoru sent the coin spinning into the air. It somersaulted multiple times before landing back in his hand. He examined it and chuckled, "Heads! Guess I have no choice but to face the bears."

He shrugged in mock helplessness and began to nonchalantly walk towards the pack of potentially dangerous magical bears.

Along the way, he made occasional stops to admire the sights and observe the strange insects of the Frozen Forest.

His Six Eyes worked tirelessly as he continued to explore and understand the world around him.

-Time Skip-

The Luster Grizzly pack was in the midst of a relaxing meal, feasting on the remains of a snow buck they had hunted two days ago.

The sounds of crunching bones and tearing flesh filled the eerily silent forest.

One Luster Grizzly paused in between bites, noticing something peculiar on the Alpha's head.

The Alpha Luster Grizzly, the largest and strongest of the pack, continued to enjoy its meal, seemingly unaware of the intruder.

Typically, Luster Grizzlies were considered lower B-Rank monsters, but this Alpha was different, bordering on middle or even upper B-Rank.

The Luster Grizzly that had noticed the intrusion growled, alerting the rest of the pack to the presence of the odd bipedal stranger.

"Sorry! I just had to take a closer look, see if he's got any ear infections! They can get nasty if not taken care of!" The stranger smiled in an easy-going manner as he patted the Alpha's head and inspected its right ear, searching for any signs of infection.

"Hmm... Nothing! He's good~!" He grinned and gave a thumbs-up.

"ROOOOOOOOAR!" The Alpha, embarrassed and infuriated, roared and leaped into the air, sending the stranger flying.

The stranger, who turned out to be Gojo Satoru, stopped his unwarranted flight and hovered in the air, frowning at the Alpha. "Woah, that's not how you repay a favor, mister!" he chided.

The Alpha, even more infuriated, roared again and attempted to swat Satoru out of the air with a mighty paw.

"2nd Grade or so?" Satoru remarked nonchalantly as the paw failed to reach him due to his activation of Infinity.

The Alpha, perplexed, landed on the ground, glaring at the airborne sorcerer.

The other Grizzlies were now on high alert and glaring at the enigmatic being whom the Alpha had yet to butcher.

"Time for a durability test!" Satoru announced with a bloodthirsty grin as he, in a flash, appeared in front of the Alpha.

Before any of the Grizzlies, Alpha included, had time to react, Satoru reinforced himself with Cursed Energy and threw a powerful punch at the Alpha's head.

SPLAT, The punch exploded half the Alpha's head in a gory mess.

Silence enveloped the area as Satoru glanced back and forth between his fist and the most certainly deceased Alpha, analyzing the battle data.

As he was doing so, the entire Luster Grizzly pack's basic, primal, survival instincts went haywire.

They quickly turned tail and ran, deciding to spread out in case this... Monster decided to hunt them all down.

"Hmm... Strength and speed-wise, it was worthy of 2nd Grade. Durability was no different than Grade 3, perhaps even Grade 4..." he mused, deep in thought.

Satoru then touched and inspected the Alpha's hide. "His hide is no tougher than a normal bear's," he noted. Breaking off a bone from the Alpha's leg, he added, "And yet the bear was capable of such strength."

"Does this energy boost physical capabilities but not durability?" Satoru wondered aloud, puzzled by the nature of the energy.

After a few minutes of contemplation, he sighed and moved on. "Something to think about later when I get more information. For now... Lunch~!" he declared, standing proudly above the enormous Luster Grizzly corpse.

What a deranged individual...

-Time Skip-

It's been an entire week of Gojo Satoru traveling alone in the Frozen Forest. Only going in one direction, having not met any of the World's natives yet, nor found the exit sign for this Forest apparently.

And for now... That was completely fine

Don't get him wrong, he's not against being with many people.

He thrives in every environment.

However.

All his life he was surrounded by attention, civilization, and expectation.

This... Completely polar opposite environment was a breath of much-needed fresh air.

Hell, he'd needed this.

Here, have it in his own words:

"I've never felt better~!" He yelled aloud on top of a Frozen Tree.

Having successfully and peacefully loaned Frost Bee Honey just now.

Gojo Satoru enjoyer of all sweet things, was currently a very happy camper.

"Hmm~! So good!" he exclaimed, surrendering to the temptation as he sat upon a tree branch, savoring the blue-hued honey.

If one were to scrutinize Satoru's appearance at this moment, they'd probably diagnose him as a bit eccentric, maybe a tad unhinged.

All correct diagnosis.

Here stood Gojo Satoru, sporting nothing more than underwear and a mediocre fur makeshift shirt. A rare instance where his innate talent did not offer any assistance.

His Jujutsu High attire had met its demise two days ago, thanks to a fierce encounter with a literal Snow Dragon.

Needless to say, Satoru had responded in kind, obliterating the dragon and shattering every scale on its body, employing the formidable Blue - The Cursed Technique Lapse of Limitless.

Prior to that, he couldn't help but be impressed by the dragon's power, categorizing it as a Grade 1 Cursed Spirit, easily the most formidable opponent he'd faced in this world thus far.

Anyway...

We have a Gojo Satoru, who, for all intents and purposes looks like a barbarian. Or a maniacal homeless jungle man.

Pick your poison.

Upon completing his consumption of the Heavenly honey, Satoru sighed in satisfaction "Ah... What should I get for dinner today?" he added as an afterthought

Satoru took off his shades which he guarded with his life, and proceeded to scan the nearby area with his Six Eyes for potential Dinne-Beasts to greet in peace.

A habit he created that made his meals and travel efficient.

He knew who to get.

He knew where to go.

And how far should he travel in case he hasn't found anything.

Upon analysis, 7 Kilometers north, Satoru noticed a few bipedal creatures.

Now, Satoru was used to seeing such things in this forest.

All of the times he had decided to take a closer look at those bipedal creatures, hoping they were humans, he'd quickly discover they were varying species of monkeys, once again fueled heavily by the strange energy.

Nevertheless, Satoru has never missed a single detail.

He took a closer look and noticed that these alleged monkeys were in fact...

"People!" he exclaimed with excitement, noting three individuals garbed in light leather and chain attire, their hips adorned with swords.

With uncontainable enthusiasm, he declared, "Time to make first contact~!" And with that, Satoru hopped from his lofty perch, landing gracefully on the snowy ground.

I do wonder how the natives would react to this oddly dressed madman.

Do you wonder?

Find out next time!

To be Continued!

-Author Note Start-

What in the what? 3 Chapters in a day? I must be insane?!

Anyways! Hope you enjoyed and the most important part is I hopefully did Teen Gojo's character justice and not make him OOC.

Also, Comedy will be an integral part of this fic, thanks to Gojo.

And Hopefully, this won't turn out to be too much Crack of a fic. Who knows?!

Reviews, Comments, Feedback, and anything really is much appreciated! I respond to everything! (When I feel like it, which is most of the time)

Have a nice day!