Chapter 7: Stars

I hadn't even known a sky deck existed since it wasn't on the map. Tammy said it had a great view of the stars, told me how to get there, and that I should take a look at it, so I did. The entrance was hidden in a small corner towards the stern of the ship. I'd walked by it before but never noticed the grooves in the side of the steel wall that led to a small circular hatch in the ceiling.

It was hard for me to go up considering my clothing brace constricted most of the movements needed to climb a ladder. Still, I made it to the top and placed my hand on the hatch door, and it opened. I looked inside and was simply amazed. The ceiling and walls were made entirely of glass, which made it feel like you were among the stars when you looked up. The multitude of space's brightly glowing stars provided the only light. There were millions of them in many different sizes.

I wandered around inside. There were large beds, couches, and every soft and fluffy piece of furniture you could imagine. It was a perfect place to stargaze. I was already lost in my own world just standing there, looking up.

A voice startled me. "I see you finally found this place."

I turned to see Akiko lying on a comfy-looking bed next to the transparent wall, her arms behind her head as she watched the stars go by.

"Sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here." Inside I was trying to contain my excitement. I'd finally found her—or rather, Tammy had taken pity on me and sent me to her, but close enough.

"It's okay. This room is for everyone. You can stay."

I didn't know what to say or do. She sounded normal, so why had she been avoiding me?

I chose a bed in the middle of the room. It conformed to my body, releasing the stress from my aching muscles, and I found myself never wanting to get up. We both gazed into space for a long time without speaking.

I decided to be the first to break the silence. "I've never seen the sky so dark before, with such bright stars. On Sola, it never gets very dark since we have the two suns, and you have to search hard on the darkest nights to find any stars, but up here it's completely different."

I tensed, waiting to see if she'd respond.

"It's the opposite where I'm from. It was almost always dark."

"Where are you from?" I asked.

She didn't answer. I didn't want to press the question or sound too nosey so I remained quiet.

"Do you miss it?" she asked.

"Miss what?"

"Your planet."

I hadn't really thought about missing Sola since I arrived. Everyone I missed there was already gone. Had been gone for years now. Even before I was captured by the Night Raiders and made into a slave, I was alone. Well … not always, but long enough.

"No, not really," I answered honestly. "I follow the wind wherever it takes me."

"I see," she said simply.

I thought about what Tammy had told me earlier. That Akiko felt guilty.

"I never really got to thank you—you know … for saving my life back on Sola. I know maybe the plan didn't quite go perfectly, but I'm not dead, so thanks."

Once again she didn't reply, and I thought I might have said something wrong. I just didn't want her to feel guilty. I lay there, motionless, not wanting to make a sound during the awkward silence, but after a moment she got up and made her way toward the exit.

"Well, I'm going to the kitchen to make dinner. Tonight's my night." She sounded chipper, and I relaxed a little more. Maybe I'd said something right. She started down the ladder then stopped and smiled at me. "See you there."

I smiled back. That was the first time in a long time I felt so great. I didn't want her to feel guilty about me. I mean, I was still alive. If anything I owed her my life. I replayed the moment we met in my mind, remembering every detail that I could recall.

She had made me feel as though everything would be okay, as though she had the power, somehow, to make it that way. Just like her avoiding me seemed to make everything worse.

I stayed in the sky deck until summoned for dinner and made it to the kitchen in record time, even from the back of the ship. Since I was early, I sat to watch her finish cooking in the kitchen. So far, Cashel's and even Tammy's cooking was surprisingly good. I didn't need to use a taste nullifier for their meals, so I was interested to see how Akiko's would taste.

It smelled great, but when she placed the dishes on the table my heart sank. I entered a state of déjà vu, and my stomach twisted in terror as I re-lived the horrors in my mind and tongue. Placed before me were dishes that looked almost exactly like Rei's.

Okay, don't panic. DON'T PANIC.

I tried to calm myself by digging my nails into my sweating palms and decided to wait for Cashel and Tammy to give me a clue, just to be sure. But to my surprise, both Cashel and Tammy arrived casually at the dinner table. I waited for Tammy to slip some nullifiers from her wrist, but she never did and Cashel didn't ask. Instead they piled food on their plates while conversing about which route the ship should take through the next star system.

I probably looked stupid being the first to sit at the table and the last to eat, so I decided to put a few pieces on my plate and just eat as much as I could.

I picked nervously at the food until choosing one that looked the least intimidating. As I lifted it to my mouth, I swallowed hard then forced myself to open my mouth and take a small bite.

My jaw dropped.

How was it possible for this to taste so good when eating something that looked exactly the same traumatized me? I couldn't believe how good it was. I couldn't stop myself from shoveling it in my mouth as fast as I could. The more I stuffed in, the better it tasted, and for the first night since I arrived, the dinner table was completely silent as everyone continuously had their mouths full.

It was such a popular dinner that we battled to see who got the last of it. Rei and Akiko won most of those battles, but Tammy snuck out pieces when they weren't looking. It was funny to watch, and everyone laughed together in the end.

I had no idea why Akiko's food looked identical to Rei's but tasted so much better, but for now I didn't care. For the first time, I felt like part of the crew.