16

A week later, it was time for the annual barbecue. My mama threw this barbecue every year before it started getting too cold. It was all love... family, friends, and food. I am currently single. That's right, Christian and I were no longer together. It happened three nights ago, and I was still pissed and wanted to get back at him so badly. I needed to share my pain.

(Flashback - three nights ago)

Christian and I were in my room playing the game. What my brother told me was still heavy on my mind. The pain from the betrayal was burning a hole in my chest. I needed to let this out before the teapot effect happened and things got messy. Truth be told, I was madder that he was doing this shit in the open. It should have never gotten back to me. So I turned to him and asked him to pause his game. There was no time like the present.

"What's up, baby? You must be ready for some one on one." Christian laid down his joystick and turned to me with his charming smile. That was probably the same smile he gave other bitches.

I whiffed my head and had to look away before I forgot what I was about to say or, chickened out. Those deep brown eyes that were always all smiles for me called to me to be calm, to relax, just as they always had. I had to be strong. I needed to know the truth. I knew how he was when he lied, he stuttered, he blushed, or he would discover a particularly itchy spot on his neck. Things I had seen him do so many times, like when he lied to my mom about us making out, or when he lied to the cops even when he was caught red-handed. I knew him, so I would know if he lied.

"Christian, look at me." I said, trying to relay to him I was not joking around. When he stopped smiling, I blurted it out.

"Did you kiss that girl?" I asked.

He blushed, his eyes not quite meeting mine, but shook his head. "I ain't kissed no girls but you, baby. What girl? Who told you that shit?"

He had the nerve to try to sound angry. He had no idea. I stood up mad as hell, his blush already declaring him guilty to me. "That tall ugly bitch you said you used to go with," I yelled.

"D-d-d-d avita?" He asked and there goes the stutter. I fucking knew it.

"Yeah, DaVita, if that's her name. I don't know the bitch's name. That ugly hoe that is looking at me sideways all the time. The one you said I didn't have to worry about. You been fucking with her behind my back, Christian?"

"Hell no. Damn Anna, calm down." He stood up and yelled right back. I watched as he averted his eyes again. His hand scratched his neck.

"You lying mutherfucker. You fucking her?"

"I damn show ain't fucking you," Christian yelled.

So this was my fault? No, the fuck he didn't. That low-down dirty bastard. I blinked hard as the room seemed to get darker. Taking a deep breath, I said, "Get out."

"Baby, w-w-wait." He said, the desperate note of his voice almost making me feel bad. Almost. "Just listen, damn it. Calm down. What you doing with my shit?"

I was currently throwing his clothes out the window. "Get your shit and get the fuck out. I hate you, you just had to ruin everything and to think I was saving myself for you. I'm so glad I didn't fuck around and give you the cookies. You're so fucking lucky."

I didn't see him move as I grabbed the Jays on my floor and moved to the window. Suddenly, I was engulfed in a bear hug and I couldn't move anything but my legs. I kicked at him as hard as I could. My kicks weren't doing shit to him because he didn't budge. I thrashed and screamed out my frustration. I used every curse word I knew and threatened his life. Still, he held me. Five minutes later, I was out of energy, and I became limp in his arms.

"I love you, Ann," Christian said against my ear. "Do you understand that? I love you. I fucked up, okay? She kissed me and I kissed her back. It shouldn't have happened, but on everything, I have ever cared about, on my mama. On my unborn. That was it, just a kiss and I ain't seen her since."

"Ummm hum." I mumbled. Truth be told, I didn't have the energy to fight anymore. The pain in my chest was causing me to want to curl into a ball and cry. I refused to cry in front of him.

"You ain't got to believe me, baby, but I speak true shit. I'm saving myself for you too. No matter how long it takes. You just don't know, but I'm a show you better than I can tell you. The cookies you talking about is mine. I'll kill a nigga before I see you with someone else. You better remember that, Anna. You are mine, you belong to me. It's funny. I remember your mama telling me that when I first met her. I mean it Ann. Don't get no nigga fucked up because you're mad."

He let me go, and I fell onto my bed and buried my head in my pillows. Trying to hide my tears.

"I'm a go now. Cause you feeling some type way. I'm a give you space, but I'll see you at the barbecue, and don't throw no more of my shit outside either."

He left after that, and I hadn't thrown any more of his clothes out the window. Instead, my anger ate at me until it turned to revenge and I came up with the most perfect way of getting back at him. If he was going to make me look dumb, I could come back ten times harder.

(End of flashback)

Part of me feared what he said, and another part was like fuck him two times with a hot iron rod. Who the fuck did he think he was talking to. He got that shit off because I don't like anybody seeing me cry. It was a new day. BBQ day and close to the last day of our good St. Louis weather.

A few days ago my cousin Nell had done my hair in some bright red micro braids, hurt like hell, but they looked fire. I left them curling down my back. I had a black t-shirt that said in pink and red glitter-ATTITUDE SERVED DAILY FRESH-. My blue jean Apple Bottom shorts with the red apples on the butt cheeks and red flip flops.

I left my room and ran right into Reese. He seemed to have been waiting for me, which would make my plan that much easier.

"What's up Ma? I heard about what happened with you and Christian. You good?" He said, smirking.

Of course, he knew. The hood was always talking. Except for the police, nobody talked to them. Not to mention I had kind of set the ball in motion by throwing Christian's clothes out the window.

I smiled and walked toward him. Amazingly, the living room was empty besides the two of us. I guess everybody was in the backyard. "I'm more than good boo, I'm great."

"Aww yea, so you ready for a real dude huh?" Reese said, biting them soft ass lips. Real dude, my ass.

Ain't nobody real like Christian. Apparently, my mind wasn't over him yet. But I was so over him. "Show me how you roll?" I said, making a deal with the devil. He slung his arm around me and we headed outside.

When we first got there. Everybody looked at us like we were crazy. Was I tripping or did the music just stop? Nobody was as surprised as my mama. She damn near swashed the hotdog she was eating. She quickly recovered and went back to eating and, as if that was the cue everybody need they started minding their business. I was gonna get a mouthful from her as soon she could get me alone, I was sure of it.

Hella pictures later and a few hours of jokes and updating my boys on what was going on. Christian still had not shown up. I was so tired of Reese and his constantly telling me I'm his girl now. Finally, I'm all his, and my least favorite... fuck Christian. I swear I got a hot flash every time he said it, and my first instinct was to defend him. I was constantly reminding myself how we were not together anymore.

I couldn't help comparing Reese to Christian. Like how his teeth seemed to perfect after growing to like Christians 's gap, or how his cologne was overpowering my body spray while me and Christian seemed to blend and have our own unique scent I had grown accustomed to. Or how his arm was a little too heavy, and I was so uncomfortable sitting beside him.

Feeling the need to escape, I said I had to go to the bathroom and ran through all the bodies in the living room and made my way there. I looked in the mirror and wondered not for the first time. How was I going to keep this shit going? How was I going to keep pretending that everything was fine, and I had just moved on to Reese, who was suddenly so annoying? I put on lip gloss and left the bathroom only to bump into Christian. From the look on his face, he had already heard that I was booed up with Reese. He looked from me to where Reese was back to me and turned to talk to an enormous guy that I remembered being one of his OGs and an old friend of my mom's. After a short conversation, he turned and left.

I wondered what he was on but went back to my spot on the couch. I was making my way back to Reese when another of my older cousins pulled me to the side. My cousin Joyce was my mama's age but still my first cousin, and she was also mother to Niecy.

"Where the hell are you doing, Ann?" She asked whispering.

"I'm going back to my seat," I said, arching a brow. I knew what she meant, but I was buying time.

"You need to be going to calm down your man." She said, looking worried.

I smiled and shook my head, "Didn't you hear cuz, we broke up."

"I don't think he got the memo. He looked pissed. That boy over there going to get his ass handed to him. Stop this Ann before there's a problem here."

"Cuzz, boys will be boys. I told Christian what it was. It ain't my fault he came, anyway." I said.

"I see I can't talk no sense into you right now. But I have been knowing him for a while now. He like family. I know he is crazy as hell. I know he won't hurt you, but ole boy is fair game." She said, shaking her head.

My stomach sunk a little. I knew I was playing a dangerous game with Christian. I knew all the things she said were true. I just didn't care revenge often came with consequences. I had already set the balls in motion. I was determined to see this through.

After she walked away, I started back towards Reese, who was holding his arms out to me. I stopped in my tracks when I heard a commotion outside. I heard my mama and Charlie shouting. I heard glass breaking and a scream. I was down the stairs before anyone else could move. The backyard was clear, so I ran towards the front, only to stop at the scene before me.

There was Christian being restrained by Dale, Leo, and Montel. His hand aimed at the sky and in his hand was a Glock. I knew that was his weapon of choice. I also knew he intended to use it on Reese.