Confiding in Family

Silas stood outside a door, giving a long exasperated sigh. His fist trembled by the door. While he had done a good job at bottling up his feelings until now, he couldn't completely calm the memories of inferiority and jealousy that he was forced to endure.

All his life he had thought of his gifted little sister as a demon with the sole purpose of taking everything he cherished away from him. He chose to blame her as the reason his parents never looked his way, her overwhelming talent existing only to mock him.

He knew this was a weak minded excuse he had fabricated to bear through his inner turmoil, making her a villain he wished to eventually overcome, and magically make everything better. It was hard not to indulge in his delusions, as it was an emotion festering in Leoghan's mind since he gained the capability to think for himself.

Nevertheless, he was not that same boy. He could see through the memories of contempt he held, the moments where his sister reached out her hand to him, only for him to push it away. Moments where she left herself vulnerable to him, confiding in despite the way he treated her, at times when she was overwhelmed by the expectations people held of her.

Perhaps she came to him because they were blood, perhaps because he didn't praise her as a hero, or have the same expectations their parents did of her. But in every instance, he'd throw her under the bus.

Silas had a sister of his own at one time, one that took care of him. One he had lost. He was of two very contrasting opinions, but he came here for only one reason. He stood there, his shaking hands stabilizing, as he continued to quell any of such emotions, breathing at regular intervals. It was time only for business.

Knock, knock, knock.

There was silence.

Knock, knock.

Thud.

A noise emerged, sounding all too familiar to Silas. It was the sound he'd make when punched off his chair.

A drumming of footsteps followed, along with a shaky voice, "w-w-wait, I'm coming"

It didn't take long before the door wheezed open a little, a chain stopping it from opening all the way. Through the gap, a girl several inches smaller than himself appeared, peering at him from bottom to top in weariness. Until she examined his face.

"B-brother?", she questioned. It had been some time since she had last seen him, a month ago to be exact. But 4 years since they last had the chance to speak. "So you've come…", she exclaimed mournfully.

"..."

As she fumbled her hands around, undoing the chain, Silas examined her features closely. She had grown long golden locks of hair, much more prominent than his own. As well as a thin nose, accompanied by thin lips that were slightly pinkish. She had irises as blue as his own, a clear semblance of their shared blood.

Though as he glanced at her eyes, he noted how red they looked, as well as the heavy sandbags they were accompanied by. It seemed she had been upset by something, something that had kept her up at nights crying. While she fumbled with the chain, he looked down with a cold scrutinizing stare. He noticed how her small breasts were hidden by the blue night gown she wore, her body as a whole, still in growth.

'I've heard girls mature earlier than guys. It seems she's looking average sized best, otherwise she won't grow more than she is. Still a few years of height to grow though, doubt she'll reach my level', he contemplated. It had been a while since he last compared with his elder sister in his past life, and thought of such things.

As he examined her thoroughly, he reminded himself how he had seen her a few times at the academy, but was never close enough, or unobstructed, to examine her properly. As the first place of the first years, she had received quite a lot of public attention. She had grown a lot since their last true meeting in Leoghan's memories, which would be the time he was sent off to the academy. If he remembered correctly his last words to her were something along the lines of, 'the only time I want to see you again, is in hell', he reminisced, 'tough luck, huh?'.

His sister finally opened the door, holding it open for him, gesturing to come in. He proceeded to do so, and his sister closed the door, locking it behind him. For a moment he wondered why the need, but decided to ignore it. The girl from his memories was never openly hostile to him, though he couldn't say the same for his own actions.

As Silas walked into the room, he noticed how similar it looked to his own. The same space, same design, same floor, same window above the desk, in the same spot. Only different in terms of bedsheets, some random clutter in her corners, her trash filled floor, and the book placement on her desk, illuminated by a fresh candle. As he neared the desk he also noticed the water droplets and dribble, indicating she may have wept or dozed off at this space. Ignoring that matter, he grabbed the chair lying on the floor, standing it up and turning it around, facing the rest of the room, as he sat upon it.

"I almost didn't think you'd ever come", she stated as she walked into frame. She paused only momentarily to stare at his lofty disposition, sitting there arched over, as he examined her. Her eyes lingering as she eventually collapsed on her bed.

"Why would I", he spoke up, honestly unsure as to why she would ever expect that of him, "it's not like we were on the best of terms"

"No", she confirmed, sighing as she shifted back to stare at the ceiling, "but I know how much you loved our parents", she reminisces, tearing up a bit, but wiping it away. At her angle, this deed went unnoticed to Silas.

"I did", he acknowledged, 'just not as much for ours'. He could feel it, the levels of pain thinking back on both.

Leoghan's parents never treated him properly past the age of 4, but they were alive and well, with plenty of time to make up for. But Silas's parents, well. Thinking back on them brought a tear to his eye, and a pain to his chest that he promptly clenched at, 'but I need to bring this conversation around to the topic at hand'.

Seeing such an estranged action from her brother, little miss dropped down her guard, as she opened herself up to the idea that he struggled for the last month, just as she did.

"I just… I miss them so much. I was going to go visit them last holiday, apparently she was soon to be in labor. But then I learnt of the news", she started sobbing slowly, getting up as not to drown herself, but holding a hand over her eyes to stop herself from bawling.

'Hm? What news?', there were very few people his sister would be willing to visit. He wanted to ascertain whom, but it seemed this was news he should already have known. 'Bloody memories', "yes, I can't believe it", he spoke, trying his best to act as if he meant it, and he did, just not in the emotional way.

His appalling act went unnoticed however, as she tried and failed to stop herself from bawling. Her only blood, one who destested her, had come to her for solace. She was sure this unimaginable event had shook him, just as it did her, to the core.

"They just… I should have been there. I could have helped. But the demons…. The demons. Apparently they came over night. Half the kingdom fell in a week, what hope could mom and dad do? Mum wouldn't have been able to leave, not with our sibling in her stomach. They… they'd have nowhere to go", she continued to bawl her eyes out, trying her hardest to swipe at her tears with both hands, but there were too many to subdue.

"I-I'm sorry", she stammered, upset at being unable to control herself.

"I shouldn't be like this… I've had enough time…", she tried to laugh at herself, but with the tears unceasingly rolling down her face, it made her look miserable at best, otherwise…

'Pathetic', he was overwhelmed by a familiar, yet strange sensation of disgust, guilt and pain.

His thoughts moved on though, 'so that's what it is', he reminded himself of the Goddess mentioning losing half of her kingdom. 'It seems a month ago I lost my parents, and only backer. We're both fallen nobles now. Probably more condemned than a commoner, not that'll impact her much, with her talent', he concluded, figuring out how this news would affect him, deciding to walk over and sit next to her, on her bed.

A part of his heart pained upon hearing this news, though strangely it was much easier to control himself, than when he had to stabilize himself to knock on the door. Instead, somewhere within him, a different feeling emerged as he turned to look at her pathetic state. It was as if he didn't want to touch her, to leave her as she was, as if he enjoyed the sight of her weak and vulnerable state. But the other part of him was disgusted by this immoral pleasure. And regardless of both feelings, this was an opportunity he couldn't ignore.

He looked away from her for the moment, 'actually if I've suffered as a fallen noble, perhaps that was the driving force for my ultimate decision. If the treatment I received ended up worse than it was, perhaps I just couldn't handle it anymore, coupled with the loss of my parents…', but he stopped his thoughts there, turning his attention to the one that needed it more than him.

She felt the bed shift, and the weight of his hand patting her back. Moving her hands away from her face, she didn't even turn to look at him as she leaned over and continued to weep. Her face planted on his shoulder, her snot and tears dribbled down his shirt.

"There there", he spoke, but his words were different from his actions, recoiling and grimacing a bit as she landed on him. But to keep up pretenses, he continued to rub her back, "I know it hurts, it hurts so much", he lied, "but we'll work through this".

This was a moment of sadness that only the two of them could indulge in. And the only moment of kindness he had ever shown her, perhaps the only time he would ever.

"I would have been sleeping in bed when it happened", she spoke up, her tears dying down by the unnatural amount of kindness she was receiving. "They'd have been rotting in a ditch for weeks before the letters arrived… All while I. We didn't know", though her words didn't make her feel any better.

As she spoke to herself, he consoled her lightly, multi-tasking as he focused on his thoughts, 'the death of his parents may be why I decided to off myself… Losing my family backing probably made the bullying I suffered worse, and the emotional instability combined probably threw me over the edge'.

'Though this all makes little sense considering I didn't know any of this stuff happened. Then again, if it's about a month ago, that's when my memories started going hazy. Leoghan, oh, Leoghan, whatever happened to me during that period?', he wondered in silence.

Minutes passed, then tens of said minutes. Silas continued to hold his sister in his embrace, wondering when she would leave it. But she never did. At this time, her crying had stopped, but she just sat there, leaned over on his shoulder, muttering to herself surreptitiously. She moved slightly, prompting him to take his hand off of her back. But she fell down, her head landing on his lap. She stopped muttering whatever she was saying, Silas had stopped trying to listen to any of it, minutes ago.

Another half an hour passed, as she lay there motionless. And a thought emerged, voicing in his head, 'you could end her right here you know? Kill her, take her coin, and she'll never be able to look down on you again'.

He didn't immediately reject this train of thought, instead being contemplative before expressing the other side of the coin, 'but I don't think she's ever looked down on us. Just a weak me making shit up. Besides, people will find out and I'll be apprehended. I'm not so eager to go on a mindless killing spree like I did before. Not without a reason'.

Before he could procrastinate with himself further, he opted to ask the more important question.

"Scilia", he pressed, the first words spoken after enduring half an hour of silence. "Scilia, are you awake?", he asked, but got no response.

'Damnit, she slept. I've waited too long to bring it up. I don't want to waste the day, I've things to do', he sighed, lamenting his poor timing.

'Besides, I can only endure it for so long', he stared past the serenity she held upon her sleeping face, onto his crotch, which shared with his legs, had gone numb for a while now.

He motioned to get up, positioning his hands to move her head out of the way, but he was interrupted by a trembling voice, as Scilia's hands grabbed at his pants with such small force he wouldn't have known it had he not seen it.

"Can't we stay like this a little more".

Silas smiled, whether fake or not he didn't know, "we can't keep our heads in the past Scilia, we must move on", though in so saying he contemplated if the original Silas would have ever moved on from Leo. Or Leoghan and Scilia, had he not become both. And reminded again of his feelings, his smile died down.

"It's not… That easy", she replied, her gaze downcast.

"No, it never will be. But I'll be there alongside you, to help you through it. Only I can understand that pain", 'because my little sister is a loaded bank. I can endure more of this for that much'.

She went quiet once again, but tilted her head into his pants, hiding it as a small smile crept onto her face.

"That being said", he hummed, "I hope you can support me through this as well"

"O-Of course", she beamed, "I'll be there whenever you need me too"

"And you're here now, thank you", he nodded, preparing a big fat 'but'.

"Of course", she reiterated, smiling upon receiving the first moment of praise from her kin.

"Though now that I think of it…", he paused. "Actually, is there any way you could help me with a recent problem?"

"What is it?", she asked, popping her head up, curious from the sudden shift in tone.

"Oh it's not much, upon first hearing the news I got a bit reckless with my spending, and now I owe a bit to some not so pleasant people"

"That's-", before she could finish her sentence, he interrupted.

"Oh but it's fine if you can't help. Just a thought I had in passing, forget about it. I'm sure I'll pay it off by the end of the semester, somehow"

"No, no", she sighed, getting up from her brother's lap as she made eye contact, answering sincerely.

"I've more than enough to pay whatever you need", she patted her chest confidently, "you're my brother, and I'm here to help whenever you need it".

"Thanks", he pushed just a little more, "but I don't want to come across as rude. I'm just a little bit in a tough spot, I'll continue to support you irregardless of this factor".

"Believe me brother, I have more than enough. You know how much I get per semester?"

'Of course I do. You're 1st place, out there earning the money load', "how much?"

"Well I got a whopping 10,000 points last semester", she proudly declared.

"Ohhh", he seemed to monotonously exclaim sarcastically.

"Yeah, and I haven't even spent 1,000 of it yet due to… Due to mothers", her excited voice dropped from bragging down to a lowered tone in an instant.

"Yes, yes, I know", he patted her back once again, "I, and mother would both be proud. I wouldn't lie about that". Their mother was an administrator, one that taught them, no. Her, the books.

She sniffled a bit, and fell to his side. This time however, as she turned to lean on him again, he jumped up from the bed.

"Ah, but remember, we must grow from our past…", 'mistakes', he thought to himself.

'But I won't label it as such, because while a weakness, she should continue thinking, and wanting to rely on her dearest elder brother'

Oof.

She grunted as she flopped on her bed again. Her sadness was replaced by a pout as embarrassment overcame her, but as she watched her brother smile at her, she could only meekly ask, "why'd you move from me".

Silas bopped her nose with his finger, causing her to recoil and wrinkle her nose as a natural response. He seemed amused, but hid it from his expression as he chuckled and replied.

"While I'd love to spend time here with you here, I, unfortunately, have people waiting on me, so I'll be needing to go in a bit"

"I see…", she hesitated.

'But before that', "you have other people right, friends you can lean on?", he asked, as any sane and healthy eldest brother would, one that wouldn't try to manipulate you in an emotionally vulnerable state.

"I've… A few", she muttered, "but they probably only hang around me because of my position".

"Yeah, that's probably it", he immediately confirmed her suspicions, folding his arms. His own experiences had led him to be quite distrustful of others.

"I haven't told them about…. This"

"Better not to, they'll treat you like a fallen noble. Less hassle if they remain out of the loop but… They'll probably find out sooner or later, so don't worry if someone tries to bribe you with secrecy should anyone unwanted find out"

"..."

"Yeah, don't worry. Just tell you're older brother here, I'll deal with any pests for you"

She giggled a little, feeling a shed of security. But knowing she was much stronger than her brother, she didn't take his advice to heart. What got her though, was the thought.

"Oh and by the way, can I borrow your discount card?", he remembered some of the privileges he could never hope to receive.

"It's… Somewhere around here I think"

"Don't tell me you lost it", his eyes narrowed down on her.

"No. Never, it's just", she peered around her messy room, feeling an ounce of embarrassment.

"Somewhere, around here", she repeated, ashamed.

"But you're not allowed anyway, the vice master said we'd get in trouble should anyone other than the owners use it"

"Of course it has such restrictions", he mumbled to himself. But sighed shortly after.

"Nevermind then, just… Before I go. Sister dearest, may I have that 5k you offered me?"

This was the first time he had called her sister. Beaming, she nodded in agreement happily.

"Of course, I promised didn't…", until she realized that she didn't. Didn't matter though, because Silas swept in right on cue.

"My sister is such an angel", he spoke such endearing words with a straight laced face, "thank you sister, this will pay off the loan sharks and leave me with enough to eat tonight. Such an endearing sister dearest".

Her cheeks blushed as her ears were blessed by constant praise, sister this, sister that, so many fluttery words she received from a mouth that used to spout only the opposite. Even then, she couldn't help but think, 'didn't he say he only needed a little?'.

Silas flicked his finger at her cabinet, motioning if the cash was stored there. For the past half an hour he spent sitting on the bed, he had analyzed the room, and among the trash littering the place, he witnessed some point scraps in front of the cabinet. Receiving no response, he walked over to check. He ignored the meager amount of coins at the front of the cabinet, he figured Scilia to have left trash laying on the floor during her emotional turmoil.

He opened it to find stashes of pouches stored at the very top. Beside them were a few coins labeled as 1k points, so he took 7 of them in one go, as well as a pouch full of coins to plop them in. He even looked around for the discount card but to no luck. When removing his hand, he realized he had knocked something out of the closet. Taking a look at the panties that flopped on the floor, he muttered under his breath,

"Sister, you need to clean this place. And don't store strange things with your money. It attracts unwanted pests"

Whether he was talking about bugs or perverts, she did not know. Scilia opened her mouth as if to say something, but managed only to grab her hands behind her back, and twirl around on the spot. Keeping quiet as she watched her brother sack her closet like he owned it.

"Now I'll be back tomorrow ok?", he spoke lightly as he turned to her.

He pocketed the pouch behind him, walking forward as he embraced his blood, keeping up appearances. But acting with words was one thing, and doing was another. As she returned his embrace, he did his best to bottle up unpleasant emotions, and he leaned in whispering into her ear.

"When I arrive tomorrow I want this place clean, got it?"

She wanted to retort, but he suddenly grabbed her by the shoulders, leaning back to look at her face. That face he made, the stern one that showed he cared. It left her flabbergasted.

"Got it?"

"Okay…", she bemoaned, "but you really, better check up on me tomorrow, or I won't".

Silas rolled his eyes, and patted her hair.

He left without a moment's hesitation. Scilia watched his back disappear as he gently closed the door.

'I've been scammed', she thought. But only a pleasant smile remained plastered on her face.