Chapter 27: Paci-Fay-Cation

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WARNING:

Combat Detected. Entity <Fay, Scholarly Drakul> is above your current Combat ability.

TIP: You should only fight creatures on your level! In Isekai Hero, Death is almost always permanent!

You can turn Tutorial Tips off in the Menu.

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Self-Composed kicked in as soon as I felt myself in danger. It wasn't actually automatic, but I'd been in enough scrapes and fights that I instinctively turned on any buffs I could lay my hands on as soon as I felt it was necessary.

As the cool, dispassionate rationality of Self-Composed washed over me, I began to take stock. I was about to engage in a fight, with an opponent of superior strength, likely of a higher level than I was. I couldn't see Fay's level, since she wasn't actually a member of the Understaff, but since she was apparently quite old, she must have a correspondingly high level. Moreover, this fight was absolutely my fault: I had done the dumbest, most asinine thing I could possibly have done and tried to invade her mind.

Which, in fairness, I should have thought about before. But when I'd asked Kel to calm Fay down, I hadn't really thought about the consequences of things going wrong. It was somewhat unlike me not to think things through, but in my defense, I was in the "Training Montage" section of an Isekai Adventure! Nothing was supposed to go truly, dreadfully wrong yet! Well, clearly Excelsia didn't get the memo on the standard Isekai Template, so this was going to be a live and learn moment; If I lived, at least. So, I was in a fight, because of my own idiocy, with an opponent I likely could not beat, using a magic system I wasn't familiar with.

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Quest Activated: Paci-Fay-cation

Main Objectives:

- Survive Fay's Wrath until she calms down

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The System, continuing to be as helpful as ever. I dismissed the notification mentally, while trying to think through the possibilities for survival. My stats still left a lot to be desired, with WIS and INT being the best I had in store. CHA would eventually become more and more important but for the situation I was facing, it was decidedly average. Unfortunately, all WIS was really doing was telling me that I'd made a massive mistake by angering Fay. Well, hindsight be damned, I needed more than just a nagging voice that told me I'd messed up.

The grain was settling, chunks of foodstuff showering down on me. I could still feel that taught telephone line that connected Kel to my consciousness, so she couldn't have been too badly hurt. I didn't know if Sparks regenerated, or if there was some oddity or drawback to the Connection that I should have been afraid of. For example, maybe if Kel died, I died too? I hadn't had the chance to ask, so I'd just have to assume the worst case scenario: Survival meant protecting Kel.

I was able to make out the vague, fuzzy outline of Fay. A thin line of pure shadow was heading away from the sack of grain and towards Fay, which meant that she was likely beginning to visualize her next attack.

"I'M SORRY!" I bellowed out loud, diving towards Kel at the same instant. Bless DEX: As a Holy Warrior, I hadn't paid much attention to it. After all, high Strength, Vitality and Charisma were much more the hallmarks of a swordfighting symbol of justice than Dexterity. DEX was better suited for Rogues or thieves or pickpockets…Never trust anyone who needs to be sneaky on a regular basis! But at that moment, as I rolled towards the imploded sack of grain, hands instinctively reaching for the other end of that imaginary string, I was thankful for it.

"Sorry?" I hadn't actually expected Fay to respond. "YOU'RE SORRY?"

Okay well, I was, not that I was about to stand still as the angry Drakul whaled on me. The more sensible thing to do was to run and dodge until Fay exhausted herself…however long that took.

"I didn't mean to-"

"To do WHAT? Mind control me?" She laughed callously. "It seemed pretty goddamn intentional to me!"

I wrapped Kel in my hands, the fuzzy but sharp spokes on her back pricking my palms a little bit. She was dangerously still, but not dead. I could feel her moving a little bit, so hopefully she'd just been knocked out. Kel, I promise, I'll give you as much food as you want if we get out of this! I tucked the little Spark into my breastpocket, folding a kerchief on top of her to prevent her from falling out. It wasn't a lot of protection, but it would have to do.

In the few seconds it had taken me to secure Kel, Fay had apparently re-visualized how she wanted me to die. Riri was sprinting across the floor, a little bit like a puddle of death racing towards me.

I had good instincts, once upon a time. Unfortunately, given a lack of any real information, the best I could come up with was stumbling to my feet and clambering on top of a nearby table. Riri seemed to be confused by the fact that I had changed positions so drastically, and it took a split-second for him to change direction and start climbing up the table walls.

"Could we-" I jumped off the table just as Riri covered the legs in darkness. "-talk this out!?"

"Of course!"

"Really?" I kicked the table out underneath me, not that it slowed the shadow down. I wasn't sure how Riri perceived the world, but the changing topology didn't seem particularly bothersome to it.

"NO!" She screeched out as Riri continued to herd me towards a corner.

I wasn't actually sure that Fay was going to kill me. I mean, I was actually quite certain she wouldn't. An ancient vampire-creature with an unimaginably powerful Spark was using it to…play Tag with me. She was obviously toying with me, which meant that while Fay may have been upset, she likely wasn't going to actually kill me.

Probably just maim me?

It wasn't a theory I wanted to test. After all, the System had made survival a priority, and given that it had a limited form of omniscience, I didn't want to try and second-guess it. I didn't really have a choice, unfortunately. It's not really possible to outrun a two-dimensional shadow that can't particularly be blocked or contained, and Riri had managed to drive me to a corner, with nothing but a plain white wall behind me. I'd need to do some research into Sparks of Light later, if I survived this ordeal, and see if it would be possible to beat it or otherwise to counter it. It seemed ridiculously overpowered as things stood.

I deactivated Self-Composed as well, since I'd clearly been beaten. The timer was one minute under the hour, which was a blessing. At least I wouldn't have any future backlash. Although the day was quite young, so perhaps I'd get into even more trouble before I could actually get some rest in.

Odd thought to have given the extremely high odds of my imminent demise, but I guess it's good to be optimistic?

Riri was pooling at my feet, keeping a small gap from me, as Fay began to walk up.

"Uh…Parlay?" I didn't know if that would work, but hey, maybe Drakul had some sort of vampire code regarding negotiation?

"No." Tight-lipped, hard eyed and completely tense; Fay's voice was clipped. "Explain yourself."

" Ummm—well, you said that Kel could maybe mind control people."

"Yes, and you thought I was a guinea pig for that?"

"No but you just seemed really…frazzled?"

"Frazzled? I seemed frazzled?" Fay shook her head in disbelief. "And you thought, what? Oh, let me invade her mind to help with that?"

Ah, okay, well, when you put it like that, it sounds pretty bad.

"I…wanted to help?" It wasn't a lie, even if it wasn't the whole truth. "I also wanted to-"

"See if I could beat you. Well, I can."

"I see that now." I grimaced a little and stepped up on one foot as Riri began to pull closer. "Sorry. But that wasn't why." I smiled sheepishly, hoping to alleviate some of Fay's anger.

"Well, then what?"

"I thought it would be a good idea to test Kel and see if she really was, you know, controlling minds or something."

"She is."

"Oh. Well…." Riri was edging closer and closer. I could see the braziers on the wall reflecting in the smooth, glossy puddle, which only made it somehow creepier, like a pool of tar that was consciously moving towards me. "…I guess we confirmed that?"

"Let us also confirm a few other things, shall we?"

I nodded dumbly. I didn't really have an option, but hey, it was nice to be asked.

"First: never, ever, ever, use magic on me again. I mean it."

"Seems reasonable!" An odd sense of…loquaciousness overtakes me when I'm in trouble. I think it's just that I've always imagined that heroes stay cool and make quips and say interesting things right when things are really bad. I've always wanted to be like that, but typically, in the middle of a fight, controlling your breathing is far, far more important than making jokes. You want to time your strokes, and save your thoughts for reaction and not for jibes. However, up against a wall, with no physical component to react to? My tongue runs a bit faster than my mind. "Great negotiating with you, now if you can call of Riri, I do have dinner to attend to."

"Second: You'll be sparring with me. Everyday, one hour." Fay's pale skin had a slight sheen of sweat around it, probably from the intensity of keeping Riri in position without having him attack me. I figured either attacking or retreating would be less energy intensive than just…menacingly moving about at my feet. "Your fighting is atrocious and disgraceful."

"You wish to…teach me to fight?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because your fighting is-"

"No I mean, I just tried to mind control you. So…"

At this, Riri did finally retreat, jetting across the floor until it crawled up Fay's ankles and back onto her arm. She had quite the preference for keeping Riri there, and it was admittedly an extremely viable position for the mini-superweapon she was carrying. Hidden in plain sight if she wanted, but also easy enough to direct towards someone with no pesky barriers or clothing or anything in the way.

"So? You failed, and you're weak."

I…really needed to get used to the fact that I was actually weak again. It was annoying, and frustrating, but I clearly didn't have the skills I used to have. My combat instincts had been dulled since the reset, and while I remembered how to swing a sword and how to fight, I remembered everything in the same way one remembers the contents of a story book. It was all theoretical, as though I'd seen it play out in front of my eyes, but hadn't been party to my own life.

"Yes, but this is a bit of a reward isn't it? Why help me get stronger?"

"Reward?" Oh. Oh dear. Not a reward. Definitely, definitely not a reward. "I'm glad you think so, Blanc. It'll make the next few sessions very…fruitful."

"But why would you want me to…not be terrible at fighting?" I don't know why I was arguing against my own good, but I felt compelled to point it out. It seemed like such a massive mistake, to help someone who clearly had no control of their magic and had just tried to invade your mind!

"Hmmph. You're dumb, and reckless." She snorted. "But in the last couple hours, I haven't sensed you as fake, or evil."

"Bit of a snap judgment, isn't it? What if I'm really good at pretending?"

Fay leaned in close, closer than she'd ever been before. Her midnight black hair obscured my vision for a second, as she whispered.

"Then, Riri will invade your body through your skin. He'll rupture you from the inside out, as though bursting through from your bloodstream." She paused, letting the words sink in. "Any questions?"

I shook my head, and she retreated, a sneer on her face.

"Umm…thank you? And sorry?"

Without a word, Fay walked away, whipping her hair behind her and tracking grain throughout the house!

As I sighed, and slumped against the wall, I closed my eyes. Goddamit. I still needed to clean, and serve dinner, and greet guests and-

Hey, she'd said not to use magic on her. But…surely I could still ask Kel for help with the other members the understaff right? Moreover, it was quite literally part of my job to assign tasks to all of them! Good job me: you've successfully convinced me!