The Weight of Choices

### Chapter 12: The Weight of Choices

The sun was setting when Lore finally made his way back to Windas, the once-familiar path through the forest now shrouded in a deepening gloom. Every step felt heavier than the last, as if the shadows themselves clung to him, whispering the names of the men he had slain. The events of the day replayed in his mind—a violent and chaotic blur, yet certain moments stood out with a painful clarity. The finality in the eyes of the two Shadowborn he had killed. The sly, knowing grin on Hamel's face as he vanished into the dark. The shock of having crossed a line he never thought he'd approach.

As he neared the city, the towering glass spires of Windas caught the last light of the day, shimmering like beacons against the encroaching night. The sight was usually a comfort to Lore, a reminder of the strength and beauty of the Magic Knights. But tonight, it only served to remind him of the distance between the man he had been and the man he was becoming.

Inside the city walls, the streets were quieter than usual. Word of the Shadowborn's increasing activities had spread quickly, and there was an underlying tension in the air. Citizens hurried to their homes, casting wary glances at the Knights who patrolled the city. Lore noticed these things with a growing sense of unease, knowing that this unease was only a fraction of what awaited him in the debriefing with Sir Gareth.

When he finally reached the Magic Knights' headquarters, the grand hall was nearly deserted. The few Knights still present moved with purpose, their faces grim as they prepared for the battles ahead. Lore's boots echoed on the marble floor as he crossed the hall, the sound unnervingly loud in the emptiness. He felt the weight of his actions settle more heavily upon his shoulders, like an invisible mantle of guilt and confusion.

He was led to a small, dimly lit chamber near Sir Gareth's quarters, a place used for private debriefings and confidential discussions. The fireplace crackled softly, casting flickering light and long shadows that danced across the stone walls. Sir Gareth was already seated at the table, a cup of steaming tea before him. The older Knight's face was set in its usual stern expression, but there was a depth to his eyes that hinted at his own internal struggles.

"Lore," Sir Gareth greeted, his voice low and controlled, betraying nothing of his thoughts. "Sit."

Lore complied, lowering himself into the chair across from Sir Gareth. He kept his eyes on the table, feeling the familiar knot of anxiety tighten in his chest. For a moment, neither of them spoke, the silence stretching out until it was almost unbearable.

"Tell me what happened out there," Sir Gareth finally said, his voice gentle but firm.

Lore hesitated, trying to find the right words to convey the turmoil inside him. "It started as a routine patrol. I was searching for magic beasts near the forest's edge, like you ordered. But then… I stumbled upon them. Three members of the Shadowborn."

Sir Gareth's eyes sharpened, though his expression remained impassive. "Go on."

"There was no time to think," Lore continued, his voice growing steadier as he recounted the events. "They attacked as soon as they saw me. I fought back—I had no choice. They were relentless, and I could see in their eyes that they wouldn't hesitate to kill me. So I… I killed them first. Two of them."

He paused, his hands clenching into fists on the table. The image of Hamel's smirk flashed in his mind, mocking and unrepentant. "The third one was different. He… he was Hamel."

Sir Gareth's brow furrowed at the mention of the name. "Hamel. I thought I recognized that name. A former recruit of the Magic Knights, wasn't he?"

Lore nodded. "Yes, sir. He was once one of us, but now… he's with them. He said things, taunted me, like he wanted me to question myself, to hesitate. I almost did. But when I realized who he was, it shook me. And that's when he escaped."

The older Knight was silent for a long moment, his eyes studying Lore with a keen intensity. "So you killed two of them, but you let the third one go?"

"I didn't let him go," Lore replied, a hint of frustration creeping into his voice. "He outmaneuvered me. I wasn't ready for someone like him, someone who knew our ways, our weaknesses."

Sir Gareth leaned back in his chair, the firelight casting deep shadows on his face. "It's not uncommon to feel conflicted after taking a life, even if it was in self-defense. But the fact that you hesitated with Hamel… that speaks to something deeper. What is it, Lore? What's really troubling you?"

Lore's gaze dropped to his hands, the memories of the battle swirling in his mind. "It's… it's different when it's not a magic beast, sir. Killing monsters feels justified—they're dangerous, they don't think or reason like we do. But humans… these men, they made choices. Wrong choices, but choices nonetheless. And I ended those choices. I ended their lives."

Sir Gareth nodded slowly, understanding dawning in his eyes. "You're wrestling with the morality of it all. The fact that these men were once like you, perhaps with dreams and goals not so different from your own. And now you've become the one to judge them, to decide if they live or die."

Lore swallowed hard, the truth of Sir Gareth's words cutting deep. "Yes, sir. It's not just the killing… it's the knowing that I had the power to end a life, and I did. I can't stop seeing their faces, hearing their final breaths. I keep asking myself if there was another way, but in the moment… there wasn't."

Sir Gareth sighed, a sound full of the weight of experience. "Lore, the life of a Magic Knight is fraught with difficult decisions, and the burden of those decisions is heavy. We fight to protect the innocent, to preserve peace, but sometimes that means making choices that haunt us. Taking a life should never be easy, but it's a reality of the path we've chosen."

Lore looked up, meeting Sir Gareth's gaze. "How do you live with it? How do you carry that weight every day?"

"There's no simple answer," Sir Gareth admitted, his voice tinged with a rare vulnerability. "Every Knight carries it differently. For me, I remind myself of the greater good, of the lives saved by the choices I've made. But even then, it's not always enough. The memories, the faces—they stay with you. But so do the reasons why you fight, why you make those choices."

The words offered some comfort, but they did little to quell the turmoil inside Lore. He had seen death before, but this felt different, more personal. The lines between right and wrong, between friend and enemy, were becoming blurred, and it scared him.

"There's something else," Lore said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Hamel… he knew things about me, about my past. He said he knew how I felt, the anger, the frustration. It's like he was trying to get inside my head, to make me doubt everything."

Sir Gareth's eyes narrowed, his expression darkening. "The Shadowborn are cunning, Lore. They'll use whatever means they can to break you down, to turn you against yourself. But you can't let them. They've chosen their path, and you've chosen yours. Remember that."

Lore nodded, though the unease still gnawed at him. "What if I see him again? What if… what if I have to face him?"

"Then you will," Sir Gareth said simply. "And when that time comes, you'll be ready. You've already proven yourself capable, Lore. Now it's about accepting that this is the life you've chosen, the path you've committed to. It won't be easy, but it's the burden we all carry."

As the conversation drew to a close, Sir Gareth stood, placing a hand on Lore's shoulder. "Take some time to reflect, to come to terms with what's happened. But don't let it consume you. You're stronger than you think, Lore. And the fact that you care, that you feel this weight, means you haven't lost your humanity. Hold onto that—it's what makes you a true Knight."

Lore rose from his seat, feeling the heavy weight of the conversation settling over him. "Thank you, sir. I'll do my best."

"I know you will," Sir Gareth replied, his voice filled with quiet conviction. "Now, get some rest. Tomorrow is another day, and there will be more battles to fight."

As Lore left the chamber, he found himself walking through the nearly empty halls of the headquarters, his thoughts a tangled web of emotions. The night air was cool as he stepped outside, the city of Windas bathed in the soft glow of moonlight. The glass spires that had once filled him with pride now seemed to reflect the complexity of his inner turmoil.

He wandered through the quiet streets, his mind drifting back to the faces of the Shadowborn he had killed. They had chosen a path that led them to their deaths, but Lore couldn't shake the feeling that, in some way, they had also chosen him as their executioner. The thought was unsettling, and it left him questioning the very nature of his role as a Magic Knight.

As he walked, Lore's steps eventually led him to a small, secluded park near the edge of the city. The trees rustled softly in the night breeze,

Lore's mind sat muddled as the weight of his choices bore down on him.