Dinner Time

Jonathan Crane:

"What in the world," I scream, jumping back when I see Ms. Harleen dropping in through a portal! Rushing to help her up, I again jump back when Ms. Selina Kyle drops in, falling on top of Harleen! Wanting to help the two of them up, I jump back for the third time when 'The' drops in, covered in robotic cats for some reason.

"Hey doc," he says, shooting a wave at me. "How's life?"

"Not too bad right now I guess," I reply, waving back at him. "Did you complete the mission?"

"I think so," 'The' replies, looking at Selina and Harleen as the two help themselves up. "Selina, do you have the stuff?"

Nodding, she pulls from her pocket the hard drive.

"Sweet. Now, who wants a bowl of hot soup?"

Chef 'The':

"Here," I say, handing Kara a bowl of steaming stew. "Careful. It's piping hot and mildly spicy."

Nodding as she walks away, I hang the ladle on the rim of the giant pot and cross my arms as I lean back. To my 'semi'-surprise, no one had touched their stew yet. Well, no one except the doc.

Taking a spoonful of the stew, he stops sipping for only a second to grab some garlic bread. Tearing off a piece, he dips it in the rich pork stew with root vegetables.

"Do you really expect us to eat this," Barry asks after a while, pushing his bowl further onto the table. "For all we know, this is poison."

"Oh yeah," I reply, adjusting my sunglasses. "This is poison alright. There are little bits of peanuts in the stew so, you know, if you have a nut allergy, you'll most certainly be seeing the Grim Reaper in a few seconds."

Thinking about what I just said, I check my pockets for EpiPens.

"Awesome," I thought, finding a bunch of Epipens tied together with rubber bands. Putting them away, I turn my head when I hear something hit the floor.

Shaking his head, Barry apparently slapped his bowl off the table and bright-orange stew is spilling everywhere on the ground. Trying my darndest not to explode, I inhale before exhale. Very calmly and gently walking over to the spilled foods, I kneel down to pick up the bowl. Leveling it, I waterbend the stew, the stew levitating into the air and flowing like a stream back into the bowl.

"You can hate me all you want," I say, standing back up with the bowl in my hands, "But please, don't hate the food. It's organic."

Putting it back on the table, I walk away, the stew pot floating behind as I pass.

Barry:

"Why are we still here," I ask, pushing the bowl away. "Seriously? Why in the living hell are we still here? I mean, come on! I don't know about you, but I think it's high time we leave! Who's with me?"

"I am," Jason says, slamming his hands against the table as he gets up. "I've been ready to ditch that son of a bitch since we first met him! He's crazy I tell you! Fucking crazy! I mean, think of this. A random guy in a pair of sunglasses just showed up out of nowhere, and all of a sudden, he forced, literally forced us to do these missions for him! And he won't even tell us what the hell his name is! We don't know what to call him!"

"What does it matter what his name is," Captain Cold says, getting up too. "The fucker can more than put up a fight against Superman and his bunch of goonies! Hell, when was it the last time any of you did anything useful?"

"At least we're trying," I say, lending toward the damn thief. "And at least none of us were trying to drink ourselves to death, you drunken pig!"

"I may be a drunken pig," Cold repeats, pointing a finger at me, "But at least I'm not a deadbeat husband!"

Grabbing the first thing I can, I toss a bowl of soup at Cold!

The:

Walking through the simple, metal door into the small interrogation room, I step back in time to dodge Revere-Flash's straight as he runs past me. Sticking out my foot, he trips and falls to the ground. Before he can get up, I grab him via his heels and spin around, slamming him into the one-way mirror.

Again, grabbing him before he can get up, I pin him against the mirror and hit him hard in a pressure point. Screaming as his limbs turn into stone, I turn around and pull out the small metal chair. Tossing his paralyze butt onto the chair, I walk past the table and drop onto the chair opposite of him.

"What," Reverse-Flash moans, trying to raise his head but failing. "What did you do to me? I can't move."

"I struck a pressure point in your chest that temporarily paralyzes your whole body," I reply. "It'll wear off after a few hours. Don't worry."

Nudging my head toward the flying pot of soup beside me, I flick my hand and pull from thin air a glass bowl.

"Would you like some soup," I ask, the ladle pouring a serving into a bowl and a bowl dropping in between us. "It's pork stew with vegetables."

Flicking my hand again, I pull a spoon from thin air this time and place it in the pork stew.

"How are you doing that," Backward asks, "Who are you?"

"Not important. What is important is whether or not you'll be joining us."

A weak chuckle, Backward tries to look at me but gives up after a while.

"Join you," he says to the floor. "What? Become a member of the Insurgent? Oh, that is funny. That is hilarious."

"So is talking to the floor," I add, looking at the floor myself. "Truly, a beautiful blue-green color but I don't think it can really hear you."

Getting up, I walk up to Backward and hit him on the neck. Screaming again, Backward's arms, and only his arms, come back to life!

"Think about it while you eat," I say, walking out. "I know you speedster burns through a lot of fuels. Important to refuel when you get the chance."

Closing the door just as Backward tries to move but instead falls to the ground, I move onto the next potential member; Poison Ivy.

Surprisingly, I found Treehugger sitting in the chair when I entered.

"Hello," she says, her head resting on the back of her hands. "And who are you?"

"Well right now I'm somehow an interrogator," I answer, "But about seven minutes, I was a chef."

Pointing at the floating pot, I prepare a quick bowl and offer it to Treehugger.

"Sorry," she says, "But I'm a vegetarian."

"Everyone had a problem with my stew," I thought, shaking my head. "Man, and here I thought I was done cooking for babies."

Reaching for my hands when I sit down, Ivy lends closer toward me.

"Here's what you're going to do," Ivy starts, whispering at first. "You are going to let me out of here. You will guide me right out of here, and then you will go back and kill Oliver Queen. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I reply, also whispering. "Yes, I do understand you, but I don't think I will be doing any of that stuff."

Ivy's eyes going wide, and her mouth dropping open, she jumps back into her seats.

"What," she stutters, "What! What! Impossible!"

"Something you should know about me. I'm immune to your pheromone dust."

Somehow her eyes go even wider, she stares right at me, as if she's trying to look directly into my soul. Waiting a few minutes, just to see what would happen, I notice bits of sparkling, pink pheromone dust floating in the air. Shooting out my palm, I airbend a little and blow all the dust away.

Reaching into my pocket and pulling out my cell phone, I tap the gallery icon.

"I'm about to ask you to join the Insurgency, but before you, I don't know, chuckle, laugh, or just straight up say no, there's something you should see. Here."

Handing TH my phone, her eyes actually going wider, look back at me.

"Where did you get these," she demands, slamming her closed fist onto the table. "What's going on?"

"Project Bountiful. You see, Superman is planning something big, and I guess he needs minerals. A lot of them."

Grabbing my phone, I swipe through the pictures myself. Entire sections of forests, everything from trees to grass, all gone, replaced with cranes, drills, and One Earth soldiers.

"This bugs you. This really bugs you. You want to stop this, but you know you can't. At least, not alone. That's where we come in. I'll be back soon with a vegetarian stew. Until there."

Offering a small Japanese bonsai tree and placing it down, I left.