INFINITY STONES IN MHA

Okay so I have just finished reading 4th chapter. And, well, I can say that at least the idea of the ff is intriguing. Grammar is decent. Sometimes I feel like there are too many repetetive words in neighboring sentences. Definitely need to check conditionals’ rules and, at least, just look through English punctuation. Speech is a bit “sturdy” and way too “official”. You should add more conversational words, more phrasal verbs, more synonyms so to avoid repetitions, and maybe consider adding some literary receptions( like comparison, metaphor, exaggeration, and etc). Overall, I would say nice ff but there is still room for improvement.

I would say the story has a very interesting premise and has a lot of potential but you only lack when it comes to the structure of sentences and conveying what exactly is going on, so I would suggest hiring a good editor and rewriting the story, not a full blown rewrite but adjusting the chapters but I won’t lie if you were to explain things more and were able to give us a better picture of the events going on, this could be a toptier fanfiction, like for example how he looks, skin tone, hair color, parents looks, add pov for certain characters, an explanation for why he’s doing things, an explanation for who exactly certain characters are rather than noting them in passing

The idea is good but the writing is very bad. Sometimes i feel like i am reading all emotionless character. The depiction of Momo in this fic is so bad and inaccurate. Also there is nothing interesting going on. Suddenly they started their school at USA which feels like pointless and boring. The paraphrasing is also bad.

เผยเนื้อหาสำคัญ

shameless author here 😂. it was really hard for me to write this novel as the story is a mix of everything that comes to my mind. ask any questions about the novel here, i read all the comments. keep showering me with power stones. Just got a handle on what a power stone is so please show that power stone.

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I've been reading for a long time and for me, when the words between 'example' mean it's a thought, it's strange for me to read, especially conversations that don't seem to have much feeling

It's doing alright and has great potential . just keep posting and take my power stones.😁