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"I think it might be better if I do go home. Give us some time to think about why we are reacting the way we are..." I'm still upset, hot tears roll down my face that I am quick to wipe off with my hand.

This escalated so quickly....

Surprised and wary, Lance holds his hands out in front of him, "Lirael, I said I'm sorry. I know why I reacted the way I did. Like I said earlier though, you are not the only one who has emotions in this relationship. I reacted badly, I get that, but so did you, just now." Lance points out.

I shake my head at him, "Exactly why I want to go home. So I can clear my head and think straight." I grab my purse and head to the door.

"Lirael...." Lance says quietly, shaking his head, as I close the door behind me and go to my car.

I take off home, crying and fuming the whole way. I climb into my cold empty bed and cuddle my pillows as I try to figure out what happened tonight.

What the fuck was he thinking reacting like that?! Did he want me to say I love him? I do, but I don't know if it's the way he wants me to love him yet. I mean, come on, you tell me I'm safe but then throw a fit when I don't answer you the way you want me to. I don't know, means I don't know! I haven't figured it out yet!

Then that was probably just a mishap in the heat of the moment, and I just love the way he was fucking me. Right?

Uggghhh....!!!

I mentally face palm myself, still not sure why that slipped out. Frustrated, I throw the pillows away from me and sit up.

I need to get some sleep! I'll be able to think more clearly tomorrow after some sleep, because I'll remember what was the most important to me. Right?

I toss and turn the rest of the night, groggily opening my eyes to the sun coming in through the windows. Groaning, I get up and go wash my puffy, swollen face, before heading down to go make coffee. I walk out onto my back porch and sip my coffee, taking a seat on my porch swing.

I care about Lance, I really do. I have been enjoying our arrangement that we're together, our sexual lifestyle doesn't cause problems or issues. It brings us closer together because of our willingness to talk and cover our bases before we do anything.

I sigh and take another sip of my coffee, letting myself put together the important details of yesterday.

I did not appreciate his reaction when I said I don't know, though... But, I guess he is right, he has his own emotions that he's allowed to feel and work through on his own too.

I'm given that time to seclude myself emotionally to readjust, he should be given his too. I know I owe him an apology for that...

He didn't deserve being compared to a child.

The early morning call of birds flittering around for food and whatever else makes them sing, fills the cool, damp morning. The weather was changing into fall, even though it had yet to arrive in full. It was a calming environment and it felt like a balm on my emotions.

I finished my coffee, feeling calmer and more in tune with my emotions. Knowing I needed to give Lance a call, I head inside and grab my phone from my purse.

Turning it on, I let it boot up and go to start some toast and grab a yogurt and some fruit. I get my toast started and take my first bite when my phone begins dinging with missed call alerts and text messages.

I grab my phone and check them. I have three missed calls, two from Lance and one from Brian. The text messages are from both as well.

I open up the messages, and the first one from Lance is asking to let him know I am home safe, the next one has my eyes widening in irritation.

-Please don't tell me you ran to Brian again and you both are lying to me.-

I quickly go check Brian's message that just says to call him when I get his message.

I listen to my voice messages and the first from Lance mimics the text, the next message from Brian has him sounding irritated.

-Lirael, it's Brian. Did you and Lance have an argument or something? He called asking for you, but I told him you were not here, but he didn't seem to believe me. Give me a call so I know what's going on please.-

The next voicemail is just Lance talking to himself more than me, -Phones off....-

I jump at the sound of my toast popping up, then mentally scold my self for being stupid and not letting him know I was home okay.

He was probably just worried. Accusing me and Brian of lying to him may be going a step too far though. Oh wait. No, I guess we did lie to him that one time.... but how did he figure that out?

"I'm an idiot...." I mutter out loud, determined to finish my breakfast in peace, before I start making some phone calls.

I just finished when my phone starts ringing.

It's Brian..

"Hey,.. I was just about to call you. I just turned on my phone. Sorry if Lance bothered you all night." I quickly tell him.

It's quiet on his side for a moment but he releases a deep breath, before responding, "It's fine, but what the hell happened? He called me twice last night, the first time checking to see if you were here with me, which I told him no. Then an hour and half later he showed up to make sure I was not lying to him. I mean, he was concerned, I get it, but at the same time, did you not go home last night or something?"

I pause, "I've been at home all night. I came straight home, so I don't know why he didn't just come here?"

Brian scoffs, "Then that makes two of us. So tell me what the hell happened because he just said you had a misunderstanding. That he was worried because you left visibly upset."

I roll my eyes and let out an audible breath as I chew on my bottom lip, "Well...." I drawled out, "He was vague about it, but that does cover what happened. However, I told him I was going home to give us some space to clear our heads and not argue anymore."

I rub my forehead, a little annoyed that Lance went so far as to show up at Brian's house, instead of coming here.

"You want to tell me what the misunderstanding was about?" Brian asked me, sounding interested and concerned.

I shake my head, "Maybe later, Brian. I need to give Lance a call, put his mind at ease first. I'm sure we can work this out."