The Spectrum

So I knew now that time went faster on earth than in the realm. I didn't think however, that I would get caught up in it so much that I would be forced into an unwanted union with a complete stranger, just to escape it. Would Space tie me down and never let me see the light of joy again? A child? I wasn't ready for a child.

And what would happen to my beautiful immortal dame? Was I to give up on her and never see her again? I would have betrayed my whole purpose. What would walking down the Forever staircase do for me now after I'd have lost any chance at a life with her?

Like I said, I still had so many questions and felt like I had no time for mopping floors anymore, but Nan was unwavering.

"It's just something you have to do. When you do meet this mystery woman, she will understand," Nan reasoned days later.

I was not comforted. Outwardly, I believe my panic did not show but my mind was meanwhile flooded with angst.

Missy did nothing to make it better. Just her presence spiked my anxiety. As I worked, she hung around me filling my head with possible ways it could all go wrong. Her talk was endless. When I'd finally completed all my tasks for the day, I was sure I was going to be rid of her. To my horror, it would take a whole new turn. Nan came in.

"When and if you decide to go... I won't stop you. I just ask that you don't choose to do it alone. I've instructed Missy to go with you. You will need her..."

What?! Take this iffy little thing with me? But Nan was right.

I hated that she was right. I did need her. That had been the whole premise for me following her home. Now though, I didn't know if I could tolerate her enough to let her stay with me all that time, however long it was going to take. It was going to be a long way to Space. Literally...

Where would I even start? I continued thinking. Why would I even start? If Mr Fluff knew his mother would help me, wouldn't he just wait to take it all away from me again? I was greatly disturbed by this fact.

"Missy won't be able to keep up with me," I tried to reason with Nan.

"I highly doubt it, seeing as you don't know where you're going," Nan said. Missy smugly nodded in agreement.

I sighed heavily.

"Alright, so... how long do I have then, a year, two?"

"Two at the most."

"That doesn't leave me with a lot of time," I said.

Nan came closer. She held her gaze at me.

"I wish I would have gotten a second chance to do it all over. For my son, I could've found a way; I could've tried. Be that as it may, I wouldn't take back all these years I've lived here for anything," she said, now smiling and looking at Missy, "But for you, I truly ask you to follow your heart. Regret can be avoided, but only on your own terms."

Yes, for sure on my terms. I wasn't going to let my ignorance of earth's inferior terrain be cause for such reaching conclusions. Like taking Missy with me. Ugh...

"Can I think about it first?"

My inner strife had picked the worst time imaginable; I needed to make up my mind.

Nan thankfully stopped nagging me about the chores and this gave me time to think. When after a few days, I felt like I could hold back the lingering thoughts of facing my own betrayal, I knew I had to suck it up and go find Space.

Nan packed for us small little sacks which we threw across our backs as we got ready to depart days later. Missy was jaunty. The excitement was not contagious however, because I held my gloom firm. I was still not for the idea that she would be joining me. I feared I would not get used to it.

..... .....

Missy had a map with her that she'd take out every day or so to see how far gone we were. My head ached almost constantly. She wouldn't stop talking...

"So, are you controlling the time as we speak?"

I didn't want to talk, but then it didn't really matter. She'd keep on anyway. I sighed.

"That's how it works, yes," I said.

"Is it like, something you feel? Do you feel yourself, losing yourself?" she chuckled.

"I don't really feel anything, no."

"Huh," she said. I could see how the revelation of my timely nature seemed anticlimactic. Pure disappointment she didn't bother to hide, was scarred all over her face.

She went silent fortunately after that, and we didn't say much else to each other for the days that followed. It was only as we approached another village when she turned to me and began talking again. I guess she'd forgiven my blunt honesty.

"So what are you gonna say to Space once we're there?" Her eyes were lit up like a fire torch held up to my face.

"I'm not discussing this with you... Besides, I don't know. I'll see when I get there," I said, trying to stomp out her fiery expectations.

I wanted to tell her to stop taking chances on me, to stop asking questions I was never going to answer. But like all little sixteen year old girls, she was insatiable. She was an intrusive little creature who thought we were friends now. But weren't all humans a bit too intrusive? I wasn't going to have it, though I didn't blame her. I remembered myself at sixteen. I wasn't far off from what I was then but wow, I wouldn't want to meet him again. Despite my deep-seated vile nature, I had in fact come a long way. This me, was an improvement.

Still, we were roaming on very different ends. Missy was a saint when put next to me. How I ended up with her, well, for sure it couldn't have just been the will of Nan and Mr Fluff. Something greater out there thought to put me in my own misery. Karma, maybe. If only I could get back at the universe, I would remove all this payback nonsense for good!