Dejected Souls [2]

Minami-san paused briefly after hearing the name, her pen hovering above the paper.

She gave a small smile, though there was something almost knowing in her eyes.

"Yuichi Amamiya, huh? That's a nice name," she said, jotting it down before looking back up at me.

"Alright, I'll have it ready in a couple of hours. You can come pick it up anytime before closing."

As I walked back from the cafe to wander around again inside the mall, a hint of realization just hit me.

I was standing still, among the students who were merrily enjoying their breaktime, with their friends, lovers, or clubmates.

After observing them a little, I went outside to sit on a bench, devoid of any life in the vicinity.

Then, I looked at the stars above me.

There was this old Hollywood movie, I watched with my father, when I was still in middle school.

Back then, things were definitely better in our family.

We were a well-to-do family, with my father being the chairman of a distributary company of a major brand.

My father had just installed a large T.V. in our living room.

And I was watching this movie with him, in English, with subtitles, of course.

The movie's name was "The Shawshank Redemption", about a prison break.

At that time, I couldn't understand a single shit of it.

Not because it was in English, but because of the mature themes it showed.

I never felt bored watching it, because even now, I remember every part of the movie clearly, as if I watched it yesterday.

If I am not mistaken, there was an old character named Brooks Hatlen, who was inside that prison for almost 50 years.

50 years is a very long time, considering humans barely live 80-90 years.

Brooks Hatlen had become so accustomed to life inside the prison that when he was finally released, the outside world felt alien to him.

He couldn't adjust to the freedom, the noise, the people.

It was like he had been frozen in time for fifty years while the world around him moved on without him.

Eventually, Brooks couldn't take it, and he ended his life.

At the time, I didn't understand why.

I couldn't wrap my head around the idea that someone would choose to die after finally getting what most people in that situation crave: freedom.

It seems illogical at first, but if you think deeply about it, it makes sense.

As it was quoted in the movie itself, the walls of a prison are funny.

First, you hate them.

Then, you get used to them.

And, enough time passes, you become dependent on them.

You can't function without them anymore.

The walls become your reality, your safety net, and the outside world feels too overwhelming to handle.

I feel exactly like that now.

I was imprisoned in my previous life, but as, enough time had passed since I was trapped in it, this new life of Yamauchi Haruki feels empty to me right now.

If you asked me the question, if I wanted to return to my previous life, exactly after I transmigrated, then I would have said, "Hell no."

But, now, I am not so sure.

Every time I try to do something new here, I feel a little bit happy. But, when it's over, the emptiness envelopes me again.

I guess, there has been a permanent hole in my heart.

Not physically, but metaphorically.

Maybe I miss a clear cut goal in my life, which I would pursue until death.

Or maybe I am just searching for a soul to share my worries with, a normal friend.

Buried in my thoughts, time went on quickly, as I picked up the cake I had ordered for, from the cafe.

Minami-san's shift was over, so she had left.

It was already quite late at night.

So, I decided to have the cake near the vending machine, so that I can pick up any drinks I want too.

To be honest, I didn't just want to go back to my room right now.

All sorts of thoughts about suicide might resurface, if I go back there.

Sitting by the vending machine, I unwrapped the small cake box Minami-san had prepared for me.

The cool night air felt soothing against my skin, but the sense of emptiness still lingered.

I stared at the cake. It was simple, yet beautifully made, with Yuichi Amamiya's name elegantly written across the top in delicate frosting.

A chuckle left my mouth, as I noticed a stare directed along my way.

I turned around to notice the same girl, whose shortcakes were ruined by me, with the ponytail sitting at some distance, watching me quietly. 

Her expression was unreadable.

I had seen her before, near this vending machine, and at that time, she was having the shortcakes she bought from the cafe.

But now, she sat there quietly, her eyes focused on me, not on any shortcakes this time.

"Um...Is something the matter?", I asked her, as she was staring at me.

"It's just....amusing, I guess?", she replied, her voice devoid of any emotions.

"Amusing?"

"Yes. I mean, it's not everyday, that I get to see a person planning to eat a birthday cake, he ordered for his friend, that to all by himself."

"....How did you know?"

"I was at that cafe a few hours before," she continued, her eyes unwavering. "I overheard you giving the name for the cake. Yuichi Amamiya, right?"

Her directness threw me off, and I blinked, unsure of how to respond.

She wasn't wrong.

I had ordered the cake under a false pretense—a friend's name, a name that didn't even exist in this world.

It's getting trickier.

I didn't expect her to ask in such a straight forward manner.

So, I decided to answer in a straight forward manner too, with some lies mixed, of course.

"Actually, it's my birthday, today. But, it would be too embarrassing for me to order a cake for my own birthday. So, I did it using a random name."

It's not exactly a lie, but not exactly the truth either, and it's believable.

"Oh, I see....You are just a typical loner then.", she replied.

Wow. She is really blunt.

"That would be the correct interpretation, I guess.", I tried to be evasive.

She leaned back slightly, crossing her arms as if to assess me, her gaze still unwavering.

"Well, happy birthday, Mr. Loner," she said, her voice still flat, but there was a hint of sarcasm underneath. "I suppose eating a cake alone at night near a vending machine is one way to celebrate."

I chuckled awkwardly. "Thanks, I guess."

I didn't have much of an impression of her, but this bluntness is really strange, in a good way, I mean.

After that she remained silent. 

I was cutting the vanilla sponge, when I remembered something.

She was eating all the shortcakes alone too, that day.

Doesn't that mean, she is just a loner too?

Well, I can't say it to her face, like she did, though.

After a moment of hesitation, I slid a slice of cake across the small table between us, pushing it toward her. "You know, it's not much, but if you're not in a hurry, you could at least help me finish this. It's a lot for one person."

She glanced down at the slice, her eyes narrowing slightly. "You might've added something in it."

I blinked, momentarily caught off guard by the accusation. "Added something? Like what?"

She shrugged, her expression unchanged. "I don't know. Poison, maybe? You could be one of those weirdos who lures people in with free cake."

A small, amused laugh escaped me before I could stop it. "I don't think I look the part of a criminal mastermind, do I?"

"You never know," she said, her voice still serious, though there was a flicker of something—perhaps amusement—in her eyes.

I raised both hands in mock surrender. "I promise, it's safe. I don't think poisoning random strangers is the best way to spend my birthday."

She stared at the cake for a long moment, then finally, with an almost imperceptible sigh, she reached out and took the slice.

"Fine. But if I get food poisoning, you're paying for the hospital bill. I remember your face completely, you know."

"Deal," I replied with a grin, cutting a piece for myself.

For a while, we ate in silence.

The night air grew cooler, the soft hum of the vending machines the only sound around us.

It was strange, sitting there with her.

We weren't exactly friends, and yet, there was something oddly comforting about this quiet atmosphere.

As she took a small bite of the cake, I noticed her expression soften, just a fraction.

"It's good," she said quietly.

"I know, right? I am planning on trying the other sweets of that cafe too."

A brief silence passed again.

Then, I decided to keep the conversation going.

"My name is Yamauchi Haruki. Mind telling me yours?"

"....Ichinose Kaori."

"Ichinose?"

"That's Ichinose-senpai for you."

"Huh? You are a second year?"

"That's right, first year. So, you should show some respect."

"...But how did you know that I was a first year?"

"It's simple. You are definitely not a second year, or else I would have known. And a loner can't survive in this school for 3 years, that's why you are not a third year either."

"HaHa, you might be right about that."

We remained silent for the most part after that, with some light conversation. 

Her bluntness was really refreshing for me.

And the silence was comforting.

So, I thought to myself.

'Seems like, this birthday of mine, isn't as lonely as I had thought.'

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Author's Note :

Here is our new character.

And, the next chapter would be the last one for this arc, probably - "The Rebound"

Comment down your thoughts.

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