8| Unworthy of Her Affection

Celestia had spent the entire night wrestling with thoughts about her family, struggling to decide what to do. It wasn't an easy decision. In fact, it was one of the most difficult she'd ever faced. But after hours of pacing, sighing, and mulling over every possibility, she finally reached a single, inescapable conclusion:

'I can't cut ties with them.'

She wanted to leave. She really did. She wanted to pack her things, walk out of the mansion, and carve out a life for herself far away from her suffocating family. But how could she leave this place? Every corner, every room, was steeped in memories of her mother.

The thought of abandoning it all hurt more than she cared to admit.

For one fleeting moment, she entertained the idea of kicking everyone else out instead.

But the idea was thrown out as quickly as it had come.

It was her against three swordmasters of the empire.

…That would obviously not end in her favour.

'No,' she thought grimly. 'That's a battle I'm bound to lose.'

So, Celestia did what she always did- she adapted.

Instead of fleeing or fighting, she decided to take on a role that might actually benefit her in the long run. It wouldn't be easy, but it was the only option she had.

'I'll be the link between Mother and the rest of the family.'

The thought solidified in her mind as she glanced at the modified projector artifact on her desk. It was already linked to her mana, which meant no one else could activate it.

Well, technically, her little brother could- his mana was identical to their mother's- but that wasn't common knowledge. She planned to keep it that way.

The reason she chose this role was, currently, excluding her seven year old brother, she was the least insane one in the family when it comes to her mom. If she didn't control them, a fight was bound to break out between her father, Devon and Jeremiah.

And when three of the strongest in the continent fought…Let's just say that the result wouldn't be pleasant, and as the shrimp caught between whales, she'd be nothing more than collateral damage.

She sighed heavily, the weight of her responsibilities settling on her shoulders. Somewhere deep inside, she felt a flicker of resentment toward her mother. It wasn't fair. None of this was fair.

'Why did you leave me behind, Mother? Why did you leave me alone in this cruel world?'

The thought echoed in her mind, but she quickly pushed it away. There was no use dwelling on it. She had work to do.

Celestia squared her shoulders and took a deep breath.

Her first step was to confront her father. The prospect made her stomach churn- she wasn't exactly eager to see his cold, expressionless face first thing in the morning.

But as she steeled herself, she thought of it as meeting with a boss at work.

'It's not personal. It's just business.'

That made it a little easier to bear.

With her mother's artifacts in hand and her confidence hanging by a thread, she made her way to her father's office.

----------

She had underestimated how scary it would be.

Standing under her father's intense gaze, Celestia felt the little confidence she'd mustered melt away. This wasn't like meeting a boss at work. It was a hundred times worse.

Her mind raced as she struggled to maintain her composure. If only she could disappear on the spot! But she knew better than to show weakness.

The trouble started the moment she mentioned her request.

"I'd like to attend the academy while living at home," she said carefully. "I don't want to stay in the dorms anymore."

Her father's eyes narrowed.

"Celestia," he said, his voice low and sharp, "don't lie to me. Were you bullied at the academy?"

She blinked in surprise. "What? No-"

"Don't lie." His tone left no room for argument.

Celestia winced. She wasn't lying, but her father clearly didn't believe her. His suspicion cut deeper than she expected.

The Duke frowned as he thought about his delicate daughter.

Although she lived extravagantly, Celestia had a very meek personality before she went to the academy dorms. He even had to go out of his way to ensure that his own sons did not bully her, and even that could not prevent it completely because of her love for her brothers.

He highly suspected her sudden change may have happened due to some bad experiences in the academy.

Or was it because of that Draken boy…

Her father's hand suddenly clenched, and the armrest of his chair splintered beneath his grip.

Celestia flinched at the sound.

"Father?"

He glanced down at the broken wood and sighed. "The furniture is old. It needs replacing."

'Scary…'

She nodded quickly, not knowing what pissed him off. Was it possibly because he didn't want her to stay at home?

The thought stung unexpectedly.

She'd visited him almost every day when she lived at home, despite his indifferent demeanor. He never seemed pleased to see her, but he never sent her away either.

Had she been bothering him all those years? Now that it had been a year, did he not want his peace disturbed anymore?

"I won't disturb you every day," she said hastily. "I just want to stay here to take extra lessons with the tutors."

Her excuse sounded plausible, but her father's expression only darkened.

"Disturb…" he murmured, almost to himself so Celestia couldn't catch it.

The word hit him like a dagger. Was that how she saw it? Had he really made her feel like a nuisance all these years?

He wanted to tell her she was wrong. He wanted to tell her he cherished every moment they'd spent together, that he'd missed her terribly while she was at the academy.

But the words got caught in his throat.

Reflecting on the past, he realized he had never once sought her out himself. If he voiced his feelings now, how would she respond?

He had always taken her presence for granted, and never expressed how he felt. Now that was coming back to bite him.

"This is your home," he said finally, his voice steadier than he felt. "You don't need my permission to stay."

The words 'he was always free to spend time with her' remained unspoken as he looked into her pale blue eyes clouded with visible nervousness.

He couldn't bring himself to ask for affection he felt he didn't deserve.

Celestia hesitated, then gave a slight bow. "Thank you, Father. I won't take up any more of your time."

She turned to leave, but something made her glance back.

Her father was staring at her, his expression unreadable. For a moment, she thought she saw a flicker of something- regret? Sadness?- but she quickly looked away.

Her steps quickened.

'Why did he look so forlorn?'

The question lingered in her mind. She'd seen that expression before- usually at her mother's memorial.

Was he thinking about her again?

Celestia shook her head. She had more pressing concerns.

"Positive thoughts," she muttered to herself. "Positive thoughts! Everything is going to be fine."

She now had to get ready and head to the academy. The year end holidays were over, and senior year was starting.

It was time to start college all over again.