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I Own a Funeral Home: Live Stream Following Other Streamers and Shock the Entire Internet!

Li Yidao transmigrated into a parallel world and became the owner of a funeral home. While browsing videos, he accidentally came across a seductive woman in yoga pants. Suddenly, a system prompt appeared in his mind. [Due to long-term fasting, the probability of sudden cardiac arrest and death is 99%!] Yang Lin quickly gave her a like and followed her and then advertised his funeral home. [No worries after death. Yidao will escort you all the way. We provide all-in-one services to ensure that your affairs are taken care of. Pre-booking can enjoy a 50% discount!] Netizens laughed and praised him for being good at doing business, but they didn't expect Li Yidao's prediction to come true. The next day, the seductive woman died of sudden cardiac arrest. People were all dumbfounded. After a few more such incidents, Li Yidao became famous on the Internet. Netizens begged him to spare their lives. One day, Li Yidao entered Zhou Shuyi's live room. While she was happily demonstrating how to swallow a goose egg, a notification appeared. "Li Yidao's Funeral Home just followed you!" Zhou Shuyi exclaimed, "Hey, dude, your ID is interesting!" "Shuyi, run! Li Yidao is coming!" "You are going to be killed by Li Yidao, Shuyi... no one can escape once he follows you." "Oh no, big mouth, I'm gonna miss you..." "Rest in peace, Shuyi..." From then on, everyone was terrified of Li Yidao. Anyone who was followed by him quietly wrote their wills...

Gemini Sheep · สมัยใหม่
เรตติ้งไม่พอ
273 Chs

I'm Really Doing Business. Why Does Nobody Believe Me?

นักแปล: Nyoi-Bo Studio บรรณาธิการ: Nyoi-Bo Studio

The dazed Li Yidao was brought back to reality by a cold voice.

"What are you thinking? It's time to eat!"

Li Yinuo placed a plate of fried rice on the table, though it looked slightly burnt. Or maybe it had too much soy sauce.

There were no eggs.

There was also a small portion of tomato and egg stir fry.

There weren't many eggs, but it was still tomato and egg stir fry.

Seeing the food on the table, Li Yidao quickly snapped back to reality, with a content expression on his face.

The previous fear of death dissipated instantly.

He picked up the rice bowl from the table, ready to serve himself some food.

However, Li Yinuo slapped his hand.

She frowned and said, "Go take a shower and change your clothes before eating."

"Can't you smell how rotten you are? How can you still eat?"

"And aren't you afraid of suffocating yourself?"

Li Yidao was taken aback for a moment and instinctively sniffed his nose.

It seemed like...

It smelt really bad.

Most likely it was due to the cold sweat from being scared earlier.

Three minutes later...

Li Yidao, with a blissful expression, put the rice mixed with tomato and egg stir fry into his mouth.

This was the taste!

"We're out of rice at home. There is no soy sauce left at home. The electricity bill is overdue for a week, and the water bill will be overdue soon."

"If we don't open the shop tomorrow, we'll have to consider getting hungry and sleeping outside. We will either die from the heat or be bitten to death by mosquitoes."

Li Yinuo spoke without lifting her head while eating.

Li Yidao, who was enjoying the delicious food with a blissful expression, involuntarily stopped chewing.

Life was so hard.

It was even harder to raise a girl!

...

Just as Li Yidao was enjoying the delicious food, in an upscale apartment in the city nearby, a flamboyant and glamorous gay man looked at the pop-up notification on his phone with a happy expression.

This person was exactly the Enchanting Little Witch, whom Li Yidao had just followed.

He was the high-quality customer with a 99% probability of dying.

"Hehe! My fanbase has grown by over 2,000 again."

"These men are attracted to my figure but are too afraid to admit it."

"A bunch of cowards. Even that top-ranked guy from last time backed out at the last minute."

"Otherwise, I would have squeezed tens of thousands of yuan out of him."

Without the voice changer, his voice was always difficult to accept.

Fortunately, his appearance and figure were still acceptable.

However, the other "assistant" by his side had an indulgent smile on his face.

"Don't worry. They don't know how good you are. Rest assured. I'll take care of you." As he spoke, he placed his hand on the Enchanting Little Witch's shoulder.

"Yes. Only Brother An treats me the best."

"When we earn enough money, we'll go to Thailand. No one will look at us with strange eyes there."

"Okay. I'll follow your lead. Don't worry, I'll always be with you." However, the Enchanting Little Witch didn't notice the hint of concealed disgust in Brother An's eyes.

...

"Eh? Brother An, look, this person is really annoying. He actually left a message to curse me to death."

Enchanting Little Witch suddenly sat up straight, raising the phone in his hand.

His tone carried a hint of anger.

When he saw the promotional message left by Li Yidao on his video, his expression became furious.

Brother An frowned. "Let me see."

His brows furrowed even more as he saw the message that had already received numerous likes on the video. "D*mn. This is really annoying."

However, soon his tightly furrowed brows relaxed, and a meaningful smile appeared on his lips.

"Don't worry about it. Besides, don't you think this message will attract some fans' curiosity?"

"Come on. Let's pin him at the top."

Brother An picked up the phone, pinned the message at the top, and highlighted it.

Watching Brother An's actions, Enchanting Little Witch looked at him with admiration, saying, "Brother An, you're so smart. If this works well, we might gain tens of thousands of more fans."

"Haha, of course. Just take a look at what I do for a living?"

"Yes, yes. My Brother An is the best."

If this scene were captured on camera, it would appear so heartwarming.

However, without the beauty filters, effects, and altered voice, the live scene was not entirely friendly to the eyes.

...

"Brother An, I'm hungry. Can you let me eat something nice?" After expressing admiration, Enchanting Little Witch looked at Brother An with a pitiful face.

However, after a barely perceptible trace of disdain flashed in Brother An's eyes, he kindly said, "Be good. You've already eaten two apples today."

"You still need to lose another five kilograms. Only then you can perform some challenging moves."

"Keep going. You're almost there. I promise you that once you reach your target weight, I'll let you eat more every day."

"But... But I'm really hungry. I feel a little dizzy."

"It's okay. It's okay. I've prepared some glucose for you. If you feel too uncomfortable, you can have some. You've already held on for so long, are you going to give up now?"

"Be good. Once you master that move, you can have a rest. And then I promise to let you eat one more banana every day, alright?"

"Okay... fine." Enchanting Little Witch eventually agreed in a low voice.

He picked up a cup of water and took two big gulps.

However, he didn't notice the faint pain in his heart.

It was overshadowed by the immense feeling of emptiness in his stomach.

...

On the other side, Li Yidao finished his lunch in satisfaction and took a nap.

After the lunch break, he made himself a cup of tea and leisurely lay on the recliner to play his phone.

He had just opened the platform.

He realized that there were many notifications in it.

After opening it, he took a look.

He was overjoyed.

Good heavens, this Enchanting Little Witch really knew marketing.

He actually pinned his comment to the top?

At this moment, the comments below were already occupied by netizens from all over the world.

"D*mn! I gotta hand it to you, bro. Your business promotion skills are impressive!"

"Is the funeral industry becoming so desperate these days? They're actively seeking customers now?"

"Seeking customers is one thing, but I advise the shop owners not to create customers themselves!"

"What kind of nonsense are you spouting, the guy upstairs? Can customers in the funeral industry be manufactured?"

"Well, customers can indeed be manufactured, but then one might end up becoming one's customer."

"..."

"Haha, this cracks me up. A 50% discount for booking in advance? Bro, just tell me how I'll know what is the date. I'll book one day in advance."

"Hey, bro, you're a bit late. My dog passed away last month. I'll take care of your business next time."

"Grinning~ This generation of bosses really has some ideas. You do know marketing."

Looking at the comments below, Li Yidao himself was amused.

But thinking about it, they were actually right with their jests.

A funeral director left promotional comments under someone's video.

It was a bit too much.

But...

He was really trying to attract business. Why didn't anyone believe him?

He could only shout crazily in his heart!

"I'm really doing business..."