CHAPTER 3

We are going to give you a battery of tests, Mrs. Pazzi. Do not worry.

My bed moves and I immediately feel nauseous. The medical profession makes me pass a whole bunch of examinations which tire me a little more than each other, but I use all my strength to remain attentive to what surrounds me.

After a very long time, a sweet and smiling nurse takes me back to my room. She quickly checks all the infusions that are administered to me then she slips away. My brain runs at the speed of light to try to put together all the pieces of the puzzle that is my life and I refuse to let myself be overwhelmed by this feeling of depression that is reaching out to me. I'm strong damn it, I won't let it go!

The more the minutes pass, the more the silence which surrounds me becomes suffocating. My eyes frantically scan the sanitized walls of the room and I simply feel like I'm stuck in a bad science fiction movie. My only satisfaction lies in the fact that they finally remove this horrible pipe from my throat. But machines are making a bunch of weird sounds, my body is hooked up to a multitude of wires, and I'm still unable to move my legs.

The worst part of it all is the loneliness. I have absolutely no idea what nailed me to this fucking bed and the absence of my loved ones is simply inexplicable! I constantly think of my parents who have always been by my side, my little brother who annoys me as much as I love him and my best friend. I naively believed that by opening my eyes, my gaze would finally find its blue pupils, but I am definitely alone.

A heavy footstep tears me from my depressing thoughts. The doctor I saw when I woke up positioned himself at the foot of my bed and briefly consulted my medical file.

-How do you feel Mrs. Pazzi?

-In fine fettle ! Alright, let me know what's going on? I manage to answer him with a cough.

The 50-year-old raises an eyebrow, surely surprised by my repartee but I really don't care. I have no desire to beat around the bush even though every word I say tears my throat.

-You have been hospitalized in emergency following a road accident and you have just woken up after eight days of coma. Do you remember the accident?

An accident ? Eight days in a coma? No but what is this joke?! I'm about to open my mouth to mock him when I notice the seriousness in his face. He's not kidding. Whore ! He's not kidding!

- I... I don't... remember anything... But how is it possible? I asked him in a trembling voice.

All the strength I've shown up to now vanishes in a cloud of dust the very moment I realize that my nightmare is actually my future.

-Tell me your last memory. Think quietly, take your time.

-The... the prom. The night at school with all my friends. It was Saturday. We left after an hour because... the atmosphere was rotten. We... we went to settle in the little park at the corner of rue Colbert. And we have... well, yeah, we've had a lot of drinks and smokes.

I finish my tirade totally out of breath. Even though the doctor tries to keep a straight face, I notice the flash of surprise that crosses his tired gaze. It may only last half a second but it's enough to freak me out.

-Wh...what? Did something happen to my friends? And why am I all alone?

- What year are we, Mrs. Pazzi? he continues, ignoring my question.

- Well... in 2010, why?

He doesn't answer but I watch him frown as he scribbles notes on what I assume is my medical records. There follows an uninterrupted stream of questions about my life, my parents, my friends... His questions are so obvious that I have to refrain from answering completely off the mark just to piss him off. ! But the seriousness that I read on his face dissuades me very quickly. The moment he fixes his gaze on mine, I realize that I'm not going to like what's next.

-Madame Pazzi, you are going to have an in-depth brain scan. Following the violent shock you received, it seems that you are suffering from partial amnesia. You have forgotten the last seven years of your life. We... it's 2017, you're 23, not 16 as you seem to think.

You want me to tell you how I feel right now? Absolutely nothing. I don't feel anything because I don't understand anything. No, but what the fuck is this madness? Why does he think I'm 23 when just yesterday I was wandering the halls of my high school?

-I understand that this situation surely seems absurd to you, but we are going to help you see more clearly.

- "Wacky"? No but are you kidding me? I wake up from a horrible nightmare and I plunge back into another! No but shit, get me out of here!

The pain tugs at my insides when I start screaming. The doctor does not seem to take offense since he does not bat an eyelid. He remains stupidly planted at the foot of my bed spouting a bunch of bullshit.

-You were admitted in emergency in my service following a violent shock that you would have received. A passerby found you in the middle of the night inanimate on the public highway and called the emergency services. If you want my opinion, this person saved your life. You suffer from serious bodily injuries and partial amnesia. At present, I cannot yet tell you if this absence of memory is irreversible or not. The next few hours will be decisive for your recovery, be sure that we will not let you go. I will come back to see you in the afternoon. Rest while you wait.

As he is about to leave my room, I give him a desperate plea. I try in vain to straighten up but no more strength lives in my body.

"Why... why... can't I feel... my legs anymore?"

My eyes beg him to tell me it's just a misunderstanding but he doesn't hear my prayer.

- We will do our best to help you manage what is happening to you. Rest now.