The Fight Against the Lich

The party separated and each went to their designated spot for the plan. Min was the first to attack. She tackled a skeleton out of the way, allowing Peonie to climb atop a horse and use it as a platform to jump straight at Tarienne. 

"Surprise!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. Before her attack could connect, the two skeletons jumped in to protect their master like bodyguards, but Celeria´s arrows and Liana´s thunderbolts dispatched them in short order. 

Without her line of defense, Tarienne was caught in the back foot. She called on the spiders above to shoot more web between her and the swinging Peonie, stopping the attack dead on its tracks.

Min quickly scrambled to release her trapped teammate. While she did so, Celeria released a flurry of arrows directed straight at the lich´s head. Thinking fast, Tarienne mumbled a spell that turned the arrows into bubbles just before they hit her head.

However, she a new problem. The distractions provided Liana with enough time to prepare her next spell. A great fireball emerged from her staff and was directed straight at the undead monster in front of her.

Tarienne frantically redirected the bubbles to shield her from the fireball. The trick worked, and the bubbles turned to vapor with the lich remained intact. However, she began to pant her lungs, unaccustomed to the frantic exercise. The first bead of sweat she had in millennia rolled down her forehead.

"Is that…*huff* all you vagrants got?"

"Almost!" Min yelled, jumping from behind the lich grabbing her in another chokehold. "Peonie, now!"

"Uck, this again? I already told you I don´t breaht-Ah!" Tarienne could see a sturdy wooden club of approach her precious little nose in slow motion. The human barbarian was free and about to hit her head back into her neck. The lich´s eyes glowed again, conjuring a lightning bolt out of them.

Peonie was ready for this attack. She raised her shield, and the bolts bounced out of it as if it was made out of rubber. Having a flashback to her untimely demise in the bathtub, Min´s released the lich and ducked away for cover.

Tarienne didn´t have the time to try to dodge. She raised her hands to try to protect herself from her attack, but the lightning bolt hit her straight on. She cried a ghastly shriek and fell to her knees, smoke rising from the wound.

The party cheered. "Told you that shield would come in useful!" Celeria yelled.

"Haha, yes! We did it!"

"Argh!" Tarienne mumbled, struggling to her feet. "Come on, I just returned meat to these bones!" She raised her arms. They were back to being skeletons.

"We can´t celebrate yet, time for round two!" Min shouted.

"Enough! If you are going to throw tantrums like children, then you shall be treated as such."

Tarienne muttered an arcane incantation. The magic binding the skeletons under her command disappeared, and they collapsed into a pile of bones. The bones sank back into the dirt as if they were in a hurry to go back to their coffins.

However, they quickly reassembled themselves into skeletal hands that rose from the ground under the adventurer´s feet. They grabbed each woman, holding them inside hand-like skeletal cages. All four girls squirmed as they tried to get free, but that only prompted the hands to squeeze tighter to try and shut them up. 

"N-no! The lich is going to sacrifice us for their r-ritual!" Liana cried out, cold sweat rolling down her forehead.

"What, no! I´m just going to hold you in place. At worst, I´ll spank you with my broom like a child if you don´t stay silent and let me concentrate."

"We have to get out of here before she steals our sou-owww!"

"Like that, see?" 

"H-help! She is going to try and suck my soul out of my ass with her enchanted sta-ouch!"

"Oh for crying out loud, it´s just a broom!"

"I bet that´s what she wants us to think! To lower our guard and make the soul-sucking that much easier! Maybe it has a secret handle that will open the tip to allow the suckage? Kind of like the pear of anguish."

Liana looked at her companion with wide open eyes, her brain slowly processing what she said. "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" She renewed her struggle to get free, trying to tackle the skeletal hand with all of her body weight.

"Min, you are not helping."

"I´m just making an educated guess. She is an evil lich after all, and this is a medieval dungeon."

"Aren´t pears fruit? Why would they cause such a scare?" 

"Yeah, what happened to the pears of this land to cause such panic at the mere mention of them? Back in my day they were just a fruit," even Tarienne got into the conversation.

"They are a torture device that work by-"

"They are just a myth mothers tell their kids to make them afraid of being tossed in the local lord´s dungeon," Celeria interrupted Min. "They never actually existed. And you, don´t even dare to try to give our evil guest here any ideas."

"If they aren´t real, why is Liana yelling her lungs out? She hasn´t stopped screaming since I mentioned them."

"If they were real, why are you so calm about them?! You should be screaming just as loud!"

"…They can´t be that bad, could they?"

"They can´t be that-? ARE YOU SERIOUS? It´s like you are a pervert! Maybe that´s the real reason you were naked when I meet you! It´s adventuring more thrilling this way, Min?"

"You sound just like the merchants. I´m not a pervert! Trust me, I really don´t enjoy-"

"Enough! I don´t care what they are!" Tarienne hunched over next to Liana, putting her hand over her mouth to shut her up. "If you truly think I´m evil enough to do whatever that is to you, I wager you must be desperate to flee from this place, correct?"

Liana meekly bobbed her head.

"Then I´ll make you a deal. I'll let you scamper away with your souls intact if you apologize and promise to leave my castle forever. That goes for all of you as well."

"No," Celeria said.

"Never," Peonie commented.

"I'm very sorry. Please let me go." Liana pleaded, earning her the glare of the rest of her party. "I promise I'll go away."

"Seriously? You are going to leave us to the skeletal wolves?!" Min yelled. "I changed my mind. You STILL owe me one!"

Tarienne snapped her fingers, prompting the skeletal hands to release the redhead. The mage picked up her staff from the ground. "See? That wasn't so hard. Now, for the rest of you-ARGH!" 

The lich fell to her knees, having received a point-blank lightning bolt straight from Liana´s staff. 

"Woo! Yeah, go Liana!" Min cheered her on. "I knew she wasn´t going to betray us! We are still even!"

Tarienne silently rose to her feet again, turning around and grabbing Liana's staff. Her expression was as somber as her undead assistants. 

"It´s like you girls don´t understand the meaning of immortal! But if you want to play, fine, the kid gloves are officially off. I'm going to hit you with everything I got…" 

Liana's body lost all color. Her trembling fingers struggled to hold her staff. "…But, since I'm a good sport, I'll let you cast one final spell. Choose wisely. If it doesn't take me down …well, you did give me a good idea about how to take your soul." 

Tarieenne released the staff. The redhead's legs trembled as she stumbled back. She held up her staff with closed eyes. It emitted a light that engulfed its caster and made her vanish from the room in an instant.

Tarienne stared blankly at her room, tilting her head. "…huh? What happened?"

"Can´t believe she teleported away," Celeria mumbled. "That little coward!"

"Honestly, she helped us way longer than I thought she would," Min replied. "Good for her! She´s out of my blacklist."

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Liana reappeared in midair. The redhead fell atop the statue of a tall woman in such a way that she pushed it onto another statue, which then toppled onto another and another, creating a domino effect of falling sculptures.

"Huh?" Liana opened her eyes, groaning in pain. "Damnit, I wanted to teleport the Lich, not myself! W-well. No reason to go back there now. Those three are as good as dead. May their souls reach the Goddess."

The pieces of five statues now lay broken in front of her. Liana scrambled to pick up her magic staff. However, an impish-looking man in a jester suit had beat her to the punch. Behind him was a whole line of fancy men and women wearing expensive dresses and extravagant suits.

"Eeep!" Realizing that she had company, Liana squealed and crossed her arms over her petite chest. In her current lack of attire, she was only fit to visit the bath, not whatever court she was on.

"My liegeness, we have another intruder. A naked one at that. Can I take care of her?"

The king gave him a nod of approval. The jester smiled and took out a strawberry pie from his pocket.

"W-wait! This was an accident!"