Calamitous Charms

"Ok, now I'm convinced you have a curse…" Acacia said, putting a book on the table.

"Or maybe she is just klutzy…" Fica remarked. The other apprentice was sitting at the next table over in the small library.

"No one is that much of a klutz."

"Yeah, haha..." Min twiddled with her fingers. "…hopefully." Min was back to her usual size, wearing a dirty old robe over her body. Her face was still feeling somewhat hot after the event. But hey, at least she got a tan out of it! A small, tiny, microscopic silver lining to flashing everyone in the valley. 

"Now, according to what you told me, you have only encountered one creature old enough to give you such a powerful curse. The silver-haired spirit that transported you into our world."

"You don't sound very convinced of my story."

"I haven't found any records matching your description of the woman … but I have found some references to old trickster spirits that might fit the bill. Problem is, none of them are exact matches to what you described to me, so I don't know which one cursed you."

"I see..."

"So here is the plan!" Acacia emptied a linen bag on the table. "I brought a variety of charms and wards to protect you from the hex. When the curse strikes again, it should remove all the useless charms but leave the one that works intact. This way, we can narrow down the origin of the curse!"

"W-wait, does that mean that I have to wait until the curse strips me again?"

"Don't worry. Worst comes to worst, at least you'll be able to wear the surviving lucky charm!"

Min sighed. "Lucky me. And what do I do in the meantime?"

"You can still be my assistant!"

"…Great."

•──────✦──────•

"S-sorry, excuse me." Min stumbled her way down the narrow street, bumbling into quite a few villagers. She still hasn't gotten used to the unwieldy oak clogs she had to wear to "always be touching wood." 

Min also had a horseshoe in her left pocket, a cricket in her right one, and a rabbit's foot hanging from her belt. Acacia had enthusiastically glued some paper charms to Min's chest and she was always wearing a silver bell necklace that rang with every step she took. 

Between the charms and the ringing, it was hard to remain inconspicuous as she walked around the market. After her growth spurt, she was the talk of the town wherever she went. She could see people snickering from the corner of her eyes, pointing at her now covered behind and making not-so-subtle comparisons to its previous size. 

Min sighed. This was the worst, not only was she Acacia's errand girl, but now she was also the town's freak. She had been wrong, embarrassment was not worth breaking the monotony. It's not like being dressed gave her much modesty now that her naked body was in everyone's mind eye.

"Here are your eggs," the elderly peddler told Min as she handed her a basket of eggs.

Just as Min was grabbing them, a man came running at full speed down the market, bumping with Min and sending the eggs crashing right into her before disappearing down the street.

It took a moment for Min to process what happened. To look down at her stained robe, feel the sticky substance on her fingers. "EWWWWW!" she finally yelled, to the laughter of the other vendors in the market. "Ew, ew, ew! It's in my robe! I can feel it pooling in my underwear."

"No refunds," the old lady said with a chuckle. Min glared at her and then meekly retreated from the place. It was not worth it to keep making a scene.

If people were giving her side eyes before, now they were full-on staring. Every step Min took was a challenge, as she felt the sticky substance slosh around her privates. It clung to her skin, her fingers, like very gooey glue. Nope, she could not walk all the way home like that. It was torture! She needed to find a place to clean up… like there!

Between two stone houses, a narrow alley led to a small stable. Some pigs were roaming free, and a horse was drinking water. It was perfect! Min could clean herself there, and no one would see her.

"Ugh, what a mess. I look like a human omelet! Smell like one too." Min sat at the edge of the water tank, having removed her robe to assess the damage. Her torso was covered in egg yolk, a piece of an eggshell stuck between her cleavage. The sluice managed to dislodge the paper charms on her breasts, which were nowhere to be seen.

The yolk even reached down into her hairless crotch. After making double sure that no one could spot her from the market, Min removed her underwear as well. "Welp, let's start cleaning up. You don't mind if we share, right horsey? Ah! Cold!"

Min began cleaning herself, scrubbing down her lithe body with water from the horse's tank. Her robe and most of her good luck charms lay discarded on the ground. It wasn't long before a frog devoured the cricket, a pig munched on the rabbit's foot, and a curious horse pulled the horseshoe with its hoof to compare with its own.

"Argh, it even got into the clogs!" A slightly wet Min took off her shoes and began to polish the eggnog out of them, still oblivious to the state of her good luck charms. The only ward that remained in place was the little bell, which jingled as it swayed with the motion of Min's movements.

"Meow!" A white cat jumped at Min, his eyes set on the shiny bauble around her neck.

"Oww, don't scratch me! D-do you want the bell? Take it!" Min ripped the bell out of her neck and threw it as far as she could, the feline giving chase. 

With the interrupting cat gone, Min was now reasonably clean and free of eggs on her face! Time to get dressed…

"No! Bad pig! Clothes are not for munching!" After finishing the rabbit foot, the pig moved on to eating Min's discarded underwear. When the angry woman tried to pull it away from his mouth, the pink animal tackled Min and then made his swift retreat towards the market, her underwear still in his mouth.

"Get back here!" Min gave chase to the pig in her birthday suit. The hog ducked under stalls and between shoppers' legs to get away and finish his meal in peace. Min was laser-focused on her target, she was barely aware of the attention she was receiving, even as she pushed people aside. She forgot that her robe was still in the alleyway, being eaten by another hungry animal. 

The pig climbed a stool and majestically jumped over a fruit stall. Min put her right foot up on the same stool, intending to follow suit, but miscalculated and hit the side of the bench. "Ouch!"

Despite missing the jump, Min's momentum carried her forward, and she fell right on top of a whole stall worth of tomatoes. She rolled down to the side, crushing all the fruit on her way down like a rolling pin.

"Awwwwww…" Min whimpered as everyone around approached to take a closer look. Her head was spinning, and her body felt unbearably sticky. "S-sorry about that…" she weakly apologized to the seller.

"Don't be, those tomatoes were old. I was going to throw them away anyway."

"Great… now it's going to take forever to clean my... robe. Eeep!" Min's head stopped spinning out of pain and started spinning faster out of shame instead. She was naked! In the middle of town! Again! Worse of all, the pig got away!

A fearful Min opened her eyes and stared back at all the faces looking down at her. Everyone was laughing at her after her naked stunt. Well, except for that grandma in the corner, bless her heart. It was an all too familiar nightmare, sadly. 

Wait, there was another naked woman next to her! Maybe they could… no. It was a painting, of Min, back when she was being giant. The artist had been quite generous with her behind, she wished it was that curvy! But the look of mortification on her eyes. That was spot on. 

At least Giant Min wasn't covered in disgusting ketchup! The smell, the cold, the gumminess… it all send shivers down her spine. Not to mention that she looked like an even bigger buffoon, somehow.

"Meep! Forget you saw this!" Min was quick to get up, grabbing her privates and frowning as she did. Ugh, she was so sticky. Her little heart could not handle it much longer, she began to sprint out of the market, tripping a few times over her wet feet.

The chuckles and whistles of the amused townspeople spurred her to run faster. She did not even think to go check into the alley for her shoes and robe, instead making a beeline back to Acacia.

Min whimpered. Any chance she had of improving her reputation in the town vanished with the rest of her good luck charms. So much for good fortune.