The Pain You Never Know

Song recommendation: Reckless by Madison Beer

•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈•

The first time she met Mikhail was on her wedding day.

He was one of the guests and sat in a corner. She remembered clearly how he didn't sit among the Chun family. Instead, he sat alone and watched the wedding take place.

Initially, she thought that it was because he didn't like her. But as it turned out, he was excluded from the seating arrangement, giving him a reason to sit in the far corner of the wedding venue.

At times, she wondered if he was really part of the Chun family.

William also never talked about him in front of her. And if he accidentally did, he never failed to show hostility towards his older brother.

Rather than being brothers, it felt like they were enemies. Of course, it was a ridiculous idea. But the way William one-sidedly antagonized Mikhail was strange to her.

Until William finally revealed why.

Mikhail was not a true member of the Chun family.

He was an adopted child of William's uncle, Robert Qin.

However, Robert Qin passed away in the same year that Mikhail was adopted.

After Robert's death, the Chun family proposed the idea of returning Mikhail to the orphanage that Robert took him from.

But who would have thought that Robert had long prepared a will. He made Mikhail his heir and inheritor of his wealth, leaving nothing to others, including the Chun family, the family of his deceased wife.

In his will, Robert will also give a quarter of his wealth to Master Chun, the brother of his wife, under one condition:

That is to Mikhail as his son.

It was a tempting offer that Master Chun couldn't resist. After all, a quarter of Robert's fortune was not a small amount of money. In addition, if he adopted Mikhail, the rest of the money would technically be in his hands.

And thus, Master Chun agreed without hesitation.

But others weren't so happy with Master Chun's decision.

The first to oppose him was his wife, Madam Chun. But she was powerless against her stubborn husband.

In the end, Mikhail became William's older stepbrother.

Rough fingers touched her cheek, snapping Ruan Yifei from her thoughts.

She looked up to meet the most mesmerizing blue eyes she'd ever seen in her life and softly said, "Brother-in-law?"

Although she knew it was him, she still couldn't help but wonder if it was truly him.

Mikhail left the country as soon as her and William's wedding ended. And he never came back for four years!

From what she heard from William, Mikhail had no intentions to return.

Then, why? Why is he here?

"Are you hurt?"

Mikhail asked, feeling a tad bit amused by the surprised expression on Ruan Yifei. She didn't seem to realize it, but she was still in his embrace.

"No...no," Ruan Yifei said, shaking her head.

"Why did you cry then?"

Ruan Yifei finally noticed that her eyes were no longer blurred; the unshed tears from earlier had dripped down her cheeks.

She quickly came to her senses and wiped away the tears staining her face. At the same time, she naturally pulled herself away from him.

Mikhail didn't force her to stay and readily let her go after ensuring she wouldn't fall.

She regained her senses and faced him. "I'm sorry for bumping against you. I didn't see you walking in front of me." She paused for a second before adding, "And, uhm, there's no reason why I cried. Something just got in my eyes."

There was no reason to hide the fact that she had cried. The tears on her face were evidence that she did cry, anyway. But she'd like to hide the truth behind her tears.

Her eyes were red from holding back her pain and emotion. She didn't notice that the tips of her nose and ears, as well as her cheeks, were tinted pink, making her look even more innocent and alluring.

Seeing this, Mikhail's gaze softened.

Feeling ashamed of being seen crying and feeling the need to disappear, Ruan Yifei lowered her head and whispered, "Sorry, but I'll head to my room first."

Mikhail stared at her intently before sidestepping.

Murmuring her thanks, Ruan Yifei stepped forward and heard him speak from behind her.

"I'll see you later, Yifei."

She almost paused when she heard him call her name. Not 'sister-in-law'. But then, again, has she ever spoken with him alone before? 

As Ruan Yifei started to hurry her pace as she walked down the hallway, Mikhail stopped in place and continued to look.

The soft feel of her waist lingered in his hand. He couldn't help but rub his fingers together and close his eyes.

When he opened them again, his blue eyes resumed their indifference and coldness.

•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈•

Ruan Yifei closed the door behind her and leaned her head against the door.

The moment she was finally in the sanctuary of her room, where no one could intrude and see her, the tears that had been held back and emotions that were on the verge of exploding finally erupted.

They continuously trickled down as if a dam had been opened.

She didn't know where she had gone wrong. Was she not enough that her husband had to look for another woman?

Or was it that he finds her disgusting now that she can't give him a child?

Ruan Yifei continued to wallow in pain and self-blame. 

As she continued to cry, the strength she had in her body disappeared as she slid down the door and sat unceremoniously on the ground.

No… I can't do it.

I have to scream before I lose it.

Crawling on the floor before struggling to stand up, Ruan Yifei aimlessly dragged herself to the bathroom.

She filled the tub with water, and when there was enough water, she submerged her head and started screaming.

The water and the wall of the bathroom helped muffle her scream, but they didn't do anything to alleviate the pain that she was experiencing.

Rather, the more she hid, the more excruciating it became.