45

Jessica had woken up after a day spent waiting around for her, so I found myself settling into the comfortable chair and speaking to her through the mike, "Hello Jessica. If you're feeling up to it, I'd like to start our first session. You know that you're mentally ill and I'm sure you want to get better as fast as possible."

I receive a nod in response as Jessica sits up on her bed and swallows thickly, "I want to get better as fast as possible."

"That's good, I'm proud of you Jessica." I watch as she straightens up visibly at the praise, and I know how good it's making her feel.

"Now then Jessica, you understand that Kilgrave is a delusion you've made up to cope with the trauma you've experienced, don't you?"

She actually seems to struggle for a moment, a frown crossing her face and her eyes flicking before she responds, "I… yes… I understand."

"It's okay, I know that you believe you have months of memories that speak against the idea. But that's why I'm here Jessica. You know you need my help."

This time she nods more confidently, "I know I need your help. I trust you implicitly."

I can't help smiling at that, "Good, very good. Listen very carefully Jessica. First, I want you to forget everything you think you know and remember about Kilgrave. Everything you believe he did, everything to do with him, I want you to forget it all. I'm going to tell you what really happened, and you're going to believe it because like you said, you trust me. Not only that, you're going to remember everything I tell you as if it really happened, alright?"

She nods again, now in a bit of a daze as she's missing so many memories causing her to answer simply, "Alright."

"The first thing you need to remember Jessica is a while back. You need to remember what you and Trish discovered about yourselves together. The truth of the matter is that you both need to give up control to someone else to feel safe and secure. You are submissive in nature, and without someone to tell you what to do, you become depressed, unmotivated, and anxious."

I watch Jessica's face for a moment before continuing, "Only, the person you give up control to needs to have your best interests at heart. You've had issues with abusers and users in the past, Trish especially and that's why you forced her mother to leave her alone. The two of you have grown up much closer than just friends or even just sisters, protecting one another from users and experimenting with giving up control to one another. But the fact of the matter is you're both submissive and you still needed someone willing to take responsibility for the two of you full time."

I take a breath and then move on, "And that's where the man comes in. You prefer not to think about him in detail as it still hurts too much. You thought he was exactly what you were looking for, with his charm and charisma, his domineering personality and the way that he saw right through you and took control just like you wanted deep down. Do you understand Jessica? It wasn't mind control, you chose to give up control and let him direct your actions."

Jessica nods slowly on the monitor, "I understand. It wasn't mind control, I chose to give up control and let him direct me."

Smiling a bit, I get to the next bit, "Only, in the end he turned out to be just like Trish's mother. An abuser, a user. He proved to be cruel and sadistic with his control over you. He hurt you, made you hurt yourself… and you let him. You'd already fallen into the wonderful ecstasy of giving up responsibility. You knew that allowing him to control you was wrong, but you allowed it anyways. Until he finally crossed a line."