CHAPTER 17

"Seriously, why am I doing this?" I couldn't help but ask myself this question repeatedly. It was a Saturday, a day meant for relaxation and sleeping in, yet here I was, stuck by the lakeside, fishing with none other than Derek Shepherd. He had barged into my room before the sun came out, insisting we go fishing. Before I could even protest, Meredith had already agreed on my behalf.

Look, some guys might like the outdoors but not me. I'm already struggling not being able to watch and read all the shows and stories in my past life, since it was still 2008. Now I have to spend one of my weekends in the bank of a fly infested water source. This was just too much.

"It ain't that bad," Derek remarked, a hint of amusement in his voice as he observed me swiftly eliminate a pesky fly with a casual swat of my hand.

"Did Meredith put you up to this?" I inquired, settling into the camping chair that Derek had thoughtfully provided for our fishing excursion. With the fishing rod still grasped in my hand, I couldn't help but wonder if Meredith had orchestrated this impromptu outing.

***FLASHBACK*****

"This is the best breakup ever," Meredith chuckled, lying naked beside Derek in her bed, the thin sheets providing the only cover for both of their bodies.

"I don't know why we didn't break up a long time ago," Derek replied jokingly, his arm wrapped around Meredith's naked form, her radiant smile filling the room.

Unable to fall back asleep, Derek had made his way to Meredith's house at 2:00 AM in the morning. Though they were no longer a couple, their deep emotions for each other still lingered.

It was quite ironic that Meredith, who had just discussed the topic of having sex in the house with Izzie and Alex, ended up being the first one to engage in such an act. She had thought that as long as she and Derek were discreet and quiet, it wouldn't be an issue. Moreover, it was still early enough in the morning, and she assumed no one would be awake to hear them. Plus, she also intended to kick Derek out before anyone could wake up. At this point, she didn't want people to know that they were still sleeping with each other despite no longer being a couple.

As Derek gently caressed Meredith's arm, he asked, "Where does Lucas sleep?"

"At first, he slept in my room, but he didn't like that arrangement. Now he's made the attic his room," Meredith responded.

"Look, about Lucas... I would like to apologize," Derek stated, his eyes fixed on Meredith.

Meredith let out a sigh. "What's done is done. Besides, he's a good kid."

"Is he okay? Is he having any nightmares?" Derek inquired, curiosity filling his voice. The past events in Lucas's life must have left deep emotional scars, and Derek wondered if the kid was plagued by nightmares as a result.

With a thoughtful look on her face, Meredith replied, "I don't think he's having nightmares. I come home pretty late most times, and he's already in bed. I check up on him, and he always seems to be sleeping soundly."

"Is he fine being alone?"

"Yeah, I worried about that too during the first two nights of him being alone, but he seems okay with it. I sometimes think he even prefers it," Meredith added.

Suddenly struck by an idea, Derek exclaimed, "I'll take him fishing today."

Confused, Meredith asked, "Why?"

"I still want to talk to the kid, see if he needs therapy," Derek replied.

****END OF FLASHBACK*****

As the cool breeze caressed his face, Derek responded, "Not really. It was my idea to take a day off today and spend time with you."

I teased him with a smile, causing Derek to raise an eyebrow in confusion. "Are you just trying to score points with my sister?" I playfully replied.

Taken aback by my words, Derek vehemently denied it, saying, "It's not like that!"

I laughed at his denial, which led Derek to touch the bridge of his nose in frustration and sigh.

"Look, I understand the impact of trauma, especially at a young age," Derek stated, attempting to steer the conversation into a more serious tone.

I understand that the original Lucas went through a lot of trauma, and I truly empathize with his experiences. However, in most cases, his trauma doesn't actually affect me. That one time I sang in the hospital pediatric play lounge was simply an isolated incident.

In the past few days, I haven't experienced such intense emotions. I genuinely feel normal. But it seems that the people around me don't fully grasp that. Even when I sang at my new school, I merely chose a song that would sound good with a guitar. I didn't delve too deep into the meaning behind it.

Derek's gaze remained fixed on the water ahead as he shared a deeply personal story with me, "You know, my father died when I was young. He owned a shop, and one day, robbers entered and demanded that he give them the watch he was wearing. When my father refused, they killed him." Derek paused, his eyes filled with memories, "I was a wreck for a while after that. So, in a way, I understand what you're going through."

A silence enveloped us as I tried to absorb Derek's story. Despite already knowing about his past, witnessing his vulnerability and openness left me feeling overwhelmed.

"I'm fine, truly," I reassured him. I didn't want to needlessly worry others about my well-being. It looks like something I genuinely need to work on in this new world I'm in.

"Are you sure?" Derek inquired once more; his concern evident.

With a sigh, I acknowledged his persistence in the matter. "I genuinely appreciate your worry, but deep down, I'm genuinely okay. If I ever find myself mentally struggling, I promise I'll confide in you, alright?" I concluded, recognizing that leaving the conversation open-ended was the best way to prevent continuous probing and maintain my own peace of mind, which is a funny contradiction in itself.

The serious conversation concluded, and Derek and I settled into a comfortable silence. No words were exchanged; instead, our focus shifted to the fishing rods in our hands, patiently awaiting a bite.

EXTRA SCENES:

"Why is Derek's name not on the board?" Dr. Webber inquired, his gaze scanning the surgery board and noticing the absence of his Chief of Neurosurgery.

Meredith, who was assisting Dr. Webber for the day, responded, "Weren't you informed, sir? Derek took a day off today."

Dr. Webber's curiosity piqued as he questioned, "A Day off? What's he up to?"

"He's out fishing with Lucas," Meredith replied, revealing Derek's plan for the day.

Dr. Webber's expression changed, as if a thought had suddenly struck him. "Oh, now that you mention it, I received a message from my friend, Principal Franklin. He informed me that Lucas sang a song at his school. Franklin only heard the song once, but he believes that Lucas was portraying nostalgia, perhaps sadness in his song," Dr. Webber revealed, recalling Principal Franklin's message. "He thought it would be important for me to let you know."

Meredith took in the new information and replied, "I see. Thank you for sharing that with me." In the back of her mind, she held a hope that Derek's conversation with Lucas during their fishing trip could shed light on Lucas's emotional well-being.