Chapter 21: Please, Stay

They are taking a break for few days after submitting the T-rex eggs. This time they just do nothing and do their own thing in Angis. Even the Capital is boring after going there a lot of times.With free time, Wain wants to visit Akasha and apologise to her properly. She deserves an apology after all this time. He wants to clear his guilt and, move forward as a better person."Wain, where are you going?", Fay asked. Usually Wain would hang out with Elvis and Trevor."I am visiting a friend".'Ouh? I see'.Fay turned around and read few novels he had bought from the Capital. It's a novel series of harem smut focusing on daughter of a maid, and the knight, the prince, the mage tower lord, and even the demon lord. Fay keeps giggling and twirling his toes reading the exciting stories. Wain just smiled seeing him having fun by himself. He had read a page from one of the book and he wanted to cry knowing Fay is reading such things but it's alright.Wain went out and steeled himself. He walked quite far, at the other end of the town. He reached a residential area. A lot of humble houses seen around. He finally reached a small white house with red roof. He took a deep breath and went to knock on her door.*Knock3*He waited for awhile before knocking again. Only silence replied...."Akasha, are you home?".He thought she's not home. He would come back at other day. Just as he was about to turn around and leave, he heard the door clacking.*clack*.The door is opened.A half elf stood at the door, hiding half of her body. Her hair is a mess. She still look somewhat pretty. She heard the familiar voice and opened her door. Seeing who it is, she bit her lips. She don't even want to see him right now.She quickly slam the door shut. She stood in front of the door. Tears are pooling in her eyes.Why is he visiting her now? After hurting her so much? Why?Wain went to knock on the door again."Akasha. I want to talk to you. I know, I did you wrong. Can you please open the door?".Akasha bit her lips again. She took a deep breath and held her tears back. She opened the door and look at Wain with fierce eyes."What do you want?". She glared at him with hatred.Wain remember those eyes. When she threw his sword at him almost killing him. Thankfully it missed an inch from his skin. There's a reason he called her crazy."Akasha. I just, want to apologise".Akasha felt his heart and body trembling. Why now? Why now? Why is he apologising after all this time...? She can't hold her tears and broke down. Her broken heart bleeds at this moment."Why... why are you apologising now.... you left me, just like that... You lied to me many times... You hurt me so much... I don't understand why... why you keep calling me crazy... why I trusted you... why you did that... I...". She broke down and sat on the ground.Few onlookers looking at them. Wain noticed and let himself inside. He pulled Akasha up. He felt bad seeing her like this.He closed the door and turned on the light. He is shocked. Seeing how much of a dump this place is. Cloths scattered everywhere. Some trashes around here and there. The sink is filled with unwashed dishes. The last time he visit, everything is clean and kept well. He looked at Akasha, now with lights showing herself. She's still sobbing uncontrollably. Her hair is a mess. Her clothes too.He realised she looks so thin... too thin. He can even see her collarbones and cheekbones.What happened to her...?"Akasha... Are you alright?".She remain quiet.She kept sobbing uncontrollably, visibly shaking.Wain is not sure what to do with her. Her sleeves fell down a bit as Wain held her hand, revealing some straight scars. Trevor gulped, and is shocked.He quickly grabbed Akasha's wrist closer to see it...."Why are you like this...?", Wain asked because of his own conscience."It hurts... It hurts so much... I can't...". She kept crying non-stop.Wain felt he's the worst scumbag in the entire of Elysia. He never check up on her. He never realised she had been hurt to this extent. He hugged her, feeling really sorry."I am sorry Akasha. I am really sorry"...."I cheated on you. I admit it. I did you wrong. I am sorry".Akasha trembled with anger hearing his statement. All those times, he only calls her crazy over and over again. She had believed it and apologised to him over and over again. But then she realised he was blatantly lying and he calls her crazy again. She believed she was crazy and she apologised again. And the cycle keeps repeating until she went truly crazy.She felt so angry at him. She keeps beating his chest to express her rage."I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! Why! Why you did that to me... Liar! You liar! You stupid dog! Why are you sorry now... why are you admitting now... It hurts so much for me..."."You never cared for me... I loved you so much, I trusted you so much... but you... you never cared...".Wain don't know how to respond really. He can only hug her tighter and pat her back. What had he done? He never thought, she would be hurt this much.Why she didn't just move on and be happy with someone else. Why she had to, be like this? He knew he hurt her, so can't she just move forward? He doesn't understand genuinely. Why she had to indulge herself in pain of his wrongdoings? Why is she torturing herself like this?Akasha went to hug Wain, crying into his chest. Wain cant help it but had to comfort her. He only realised seeing her with his own eyes, how much he had hurt her.She looks up to see Wain. This handsome face. This person she had given her heart to. Someone she had trusted to a point of believing his blatant lies. Why is he apologising now? She wanted to move on really. Why he dares to show up in front of her...?Wain too look at her. He remembers the cheerful Akasha once were when they met. He's a scum, to turn her into this. And he never bothered to take responsibility and accountability.Akasha went to hug him. She leaned and tip toed a bit, giving him a kiss. She missed him. She hates him. She loves him. And she felt glad and happy he apologised to her, and admitted his wrongdoings. And she hates him for being too late. She had a lot of conflicting emotions inside her.Wain replied to kiss back. His hands can't hold back to caress her and give her comfort she deserved. He felt sorry, and guilty.She drags him to her room. Cloths are scattered everywhere from how messy it is. But neither cared. No words were spoken, but they speak with bodies....Did Wain had a sleepover a his friend's house? Fay wondered.It's a bit lonely when Wain not by his side. He had always been with him, every single day, so it felt a bit empty when there's no one is next to him on the bed. Well, he still can have his own fun. Fay keep on reading the smuts he had with his legs kicking in the air."Hihi. The demon lord so naughty...". Fay had a grin on his face. ...Wain covers his eyes with his hand as sunlight hit him.He looked to the side, feeling the warmth from the hand embracing him.Is this a mistake?Wain had his mind stopped for a moment. He can't refuse her. He can't refuse her after seeing how much he had hurt her.He held the hand touching his bare chest. He touches the scar on her wrist. Why did she hurt herself? She was a kind and cheerful person before. Can't she just go out and find someone better? He truly doesn't understand, why she is like this. He knows that its because she is hurt from his actions and lies - but why she had to choose this path of self-destruction when she didn't deserve to be punished for his wrongdoings?"I am sorry, Akasha".She opened her eyes. She shed another tear hearing the apology she had wanted to hear most all this time. She went to hug him tighter."I love you... I still love you...".Wain can only bite his lips. He did like her once. But he was really just playing around. Only when he met Fay did he truly become committed. Wain is not sure how to tell her.What is the right thing to do now?They break up only because he cheated on her with some prostitute just because he felt bored of her. There's really no deep reason behind the cheating. They weren't meant to break up. Akasha had never done him anything wrong, and had always give him her whole attention time and heart to him until he committed the mistake. And he never had realised or think too deeply about what his actions entailed.He remembers the person she was before when they were dating. But he still needs to leave...Wain wake up from the bed, reaching out for his pants on the floor."Can you please stay... I need you... I really... need you..".Akasha went to hug him tight, tears are still visible on her eyes.Wain cant do this... It's so difficult. His heart is breaking and hurt seeing her."Alright...".Wain lay down back and hug her back. He has to, take responsibility for his mistake.Fay... I am sorry. ...Fay and others went to have dinner at the most expensive restaurant in town. It still can't be compared to the one in the Capital though."Fay, where did Wain go?", asked Elvis.'Not sure. He said he's visiting a friend yesterday. He stayed over at their house, I think. He didn't come back till now'. Fay explained.Elvis spins his head. Wain had other friends? Since they were together in the party for years, while he had other acquaintances, but there's no one that he's close enough to had a stay over at their house.He shrugs it off, maybe it's a new friend of his....Wain bought porridge from a nearby stall and bought groceries for her. She looks so weak, and so thin, lying down on her bed all day. As if she had lost her own will to live.He looked at her storeroom. It's empty. Did she quit her job? What did she eat all this time? Wain placed all the groceries he bought for her.The more Wain explores her house, the more he feels his heart wrenched. He tidied up the house a little bit, and helped clean up the unwashed dishes stacked in the sink, and throw up the trashes. He went to see her, still lying on her bed."Akasha. Here's some money for you. You should buy yourself some food".Wain gave her 10 gold coins. It value is a lot for normal people but not much for Wain who had slayed so much gold ranked beasts."Please... stay...".She can only hold onto his clothes. Wain can't even look into her eyes. He's afraid....Wain is contemplating. It's only right that he had to do something to pay for his wrongdoings. But Fay...He cheated on her with a nobody. And now he cheated on Fay with his ex. He's such a scum of a man, he cursed himself.... But he can't leave Akasha like this. At times he regrets visiting her. If he had just go about his day and just forget about her he wouldn't have known this. But what if, she would just die alone in her own room with no one noticing?...'I will come back later, I promise alright? You should take of yourself better. Sorry Akasha'.He caresses Akasha's messy hair. He combed it with his hand while at it.This woman always had a smile whenever they met back then. Now he can't see that person anymore ever since he made that mistake. She's still beautiful, even though she is messy and unkept. ...Days goes by as usual. Taking small quests and subjugation of beasts. Wain and Trevor have signs of reconciling. Although, Fay feels like Wain is a bit distant from him.He's not sure why. And it felt scary to him."Wain... did I, do something wrong?", Fay held Wain's hand, looking at him as they lay on their bed. He has some sense of anxiety afraid that there is a problem. Fay can sense something is off. He felt like Wain had been avoiding his eyes at times.Wain had his heart stopped for a moment. That question, is an omen. Akasha had asked him this question when he was ghosting her after she apologised for 'misunderstanding' him. It brought a sense of dejavu to him.'What do you mean? Why?'. Wain went to kiss Fay's forehead."I don't know... its just... at times it felt like you are, distancing yourself"."Is there anything troubling you? Please tell me. I will listen". Fay leaned closer to him.Wain take a gulp of his own saliva. His guilt surfaced again.'No. It's just that I have a lot on my mind. You know, we are close to getting enough funds and set for our mithril rank quest. It just, felt like its dangerous, and I am afraid any of us could get hurt'.Fay wondered. He didn't know Wain care about the party safety to this extent."Wain. It's alright. Worst comes to worst, I will send everyone back to safety. And you know... I haven't show my new power fully yet. I am really strong okay!".Wain knows Fay is strong, strong enough that he felt reassured and safety is the least of his concern. He really is just making an excuse. But seeing Fay like this, he wants to cry really. Wain hug him tight."I love you okay. If anything troubles you, you can tell me". Fay went bury himself into his body, sniffing them at the same time. He likes his smell a lot. Wain had his heart eaten away from the inside. He really is a scum.'I love you too'. He almost choked on his own words. He felt Fay's hand sliding under his cloths. Fay really never gets tired of him... ...Wain went out to visit Akasha after few weeks. He wonders if he left her for too long. Fay didn't ask anything this time when he went out. A Kyubey clone who's free secretly follows him, because he's curious.Upon reaching her house, he knocked on her door.Akasha open the door to see Wain, with some food on his hands."Come in".Wain let himself in. He looked at the house. It seems that, she had cleaned up everything properly. He looked at her. She's still thin, but she looks better now and look neat.'I got you some food'.She immediately jumped into his embrace. Wain felt a bit startled."Thank you for coming...".Wain look at her, with pain in his heart. He had wanted to end things properly, but he doesn't have the courage for that yet.She looked at him with a small smile. She feels happy, and glad, that Wain had apologised to her, and came back to check her out.Wain felt surprised at the smile she gave. He remembered how she was back then. He really had done her so wrong. Why is she still smiling at him? His own heart bleeds seeing her like this. Why can't she just hates him and dump him away? She's making it difficult for Wain. He doesn't have a heart to end things after seeing how hurt she was.They both sat together on the table.Akasha felt surprised seeing the food that Wain brought. Aside from some stir fried meats and vegetables, there's an apple pie from a very specific bakery that she loved most.She shed some tears, feeling really happy."You still remember I like this...".Wain got her that because he knew she liked it most, and maybe, he wants to make it up to her."Thank you... thank you so much...", Akasha broke down again. Wain doesn't understand, why is she like this. Why is she thanking him. She should have just, kicked him out of the house already.They ate in silence.But suddenly she stood up and ran to the bathroom and puked some food out.Wain went to follow her, to see if she's fine."Hey.. are you alright? Is the food bad?".'No... I just... feel nauseous. It's nothing'. She gave a little smile of assurance to Wain. Wain pat her back, making sure she's fine.Akasha thought for a moment. No way... right? She felt conflicted, and frowned her brows. She had thought about things on the few weeks. She remembers Wain had a new person, Ray or Fay or something. She really don't want to hurt anyone else. She knew herself how she was hurt and won't wish for it to an innocent person. But she can't afford to let go of him. She loves him too much...They went to finish their food properly after.Wain look at her back while she's washing the dishes. He really don't know what are they now. Seeing she had finished cleaning, Wain stood up from his seat."I will take my leave. Take care". Wain turned and took 2 steps towards the door.'Wain...'.He turned back to see her. She went to hug him firm. Wain can't push her away."I love you... I still love you...".Wain can only bite his lip. He really can't tell her 'no'. His own conscience won't let him.She dragged him to her room, caressing his body. She sat up from the bed, and reached out for her drawer. Taking out a packed powder in paper. There's a lot of such packed papers in there. It's a contraceptive made from a specific plant. She bought these when she was active with Wain. Wain also knows this. And he remembers that she didn't use this when he visited last time. But he didn't think much of it, because its difficult for mixed races to get pregnant in the first place. He frowned a little, remembering she threw up before. Is she...?She still took it and drink some water to swallow it. She don't know how it works, but hopefully, even if she's pregnant it would abort the new life in her.His brain stop thinking for a moment. He really don't want to think about the possibility. He shut off his brain and let everything plays out on its own. He don't want to think about it. He's afraid. He immersed himself in her touches. He remembers how much he had loved doing this with her. Even he can't help it anymore, and held her with his arms kissing her....Wain wore his cloths back, ready to leave.'Please come back...'. Wain can't look at her eyes. He wanted to say no. He can't do this to Fay. But...'I am sorry for asking you like this... I know, you already had someone else...'.'But...please... come back... I need you...'. She had tears in her eyes again.Wain gave up his intention to refuse her, seeing her like this."Alright. I will come back later okay?". Wain caresses her now soft and straight hair.'Thank you...'. She gave him a long hug, before letting him leave. She watched the broad back of the person she had and still loved. She wonders if he still cares for her, or its just out of pity, or is it out of conscience?She don't know. And she's afraid to ask. Regardless, she wanted to make sure of something.After Wain went out, she too took her leave to the nearby physician clinic. After some inquiry, she got into a room with a large device and a platform for her to stand.The physician channeled his mana to a crystal embedded on a device, and the scanning of 'mana signature' is done throughout her whole body and projected as images onto a paper.Dark dots forms on the paper to represent mana concentration throughout different parts of the body. And there's a lot of small dots clustered together in her abdomen, although its really a small cluster.The physician smiled seeing this."Congratulations miss. It should only be about a few weeks since you conceived. You should take care of your health so it grows healthy".Akasha bit her lips. She don't know what she should do, confirming it. She had planned to abort it if that's the case. But now... seeing it on a paper, she's afraid and feels guilty.It's their child....Right... if... she keeps it... Wain would stay with her.She bit her lips. She's not sure, if this is right or wrong. She loves him a lot and already forgave him when he apologised to her. Wain himself never denied her, nor pushed her away. Maybe, Wain too had wanted to stay with her now that they reconciled. She spun her head, thinking things through.She decides to keep it. They can stay together from now on, as a family. She caresses her stomach, thinking about what the child would look like. She still think about a scenario where, Wain would still leave her, or ask her to abort it....She wants to keep the child regardless. At least, she really had loved Wain. And this child, is out of love. She made a promise to herself, and the unborn baby she would take care of them. If Wain leaves her, she wanted the child to fill in the gap that Wain left. She smiled a little, feeling elated at the idea of being a mother, and playing with a baby that would probably look like Wain. She had a fire started in her heart that had long gone before.At least, for her child, she should move forward. She thanked the physician and paid for her service. She had worked as a staff at a bank nearby a month before. She stopped going there at some point, feeling too tired to even move out of her bed after everything. She hesitantly walked in, to see her ex-coworker."Akasha! Where have you been? Why did you stop coming to work so suddenly? What happened? Are you sick?".'It's just... its been difficult for me...is Boss here?'.Thankfully her manager is kind and understanding. He saw how thin she looked, as if she hadn't eaten for days. He accept her back as a staff. Akasha wanted to cry seeing her workmates so kind to her. She feels thankful for giving her a chance to work there still. She caresses her stomach, with a hint of smile carved on her face....In the evening, someone opened the door to Fay's room.It's Wain. He had left this morning to do his own business."Wain, you are back". Fay looked at him with a smile as usual. Fay is writing a fanfiction smut because he got inspired by the novel series 'Pure Maid and the 4 Standing Pillars'. It's really for his own entertainment.Wain can't even look at Fay. He is overwhelmed by so much guilt. Guilt to Akasha, and now guilt towards Fay. This is consequences to his own actions. He put up a fake smile, pretending everything is fine.'Yeah. I went to hang out with a friend'."I see...".'Wain, want to, have a walk outside?'.He smiled and agreed. They walked around the street holding hands. There are some stalls here and there. The flower shop is still open for sale. Fay remembers Wain bought him a flower from this shop on lovers day.His mouth carved upward, remembering the day they became official. Wain noticed he's looking at the flower shop.Wain went to buy a white bouquet of flowers and give it to Fay."Thank you". Fay sniffed them. It smells fresh and nice. He can't help but smiled remembering back then."You got me the same ones as back then!". Fay chuckled a little bit."Same one?".'You know... On lovers day, when we start to date properly". Fay went to cling onto his arm."Thank you". Fay felt really happy, receiving the flower that marks them as a couple.'...'. Wain can only stay silent.Wain don't even remember the specifics. But when he recalled, he remembered he bought him a flower, and confessed that day. But the details is still blurry. For Fay to remember what kind of flower he even bought for him...He had thought about breaking up with Fay, temporarily, because it's wrong to have Akasha behind him. At least he wanted to settle things properly with her first and give her time to heal. And then, get back with Fay.But now... He can't do it. He will hurt Fay too much.And he himself loves Fay too much. He don't want to see Fay get hurt.Wain had tears pooling in his eyes, having his heart hurt from everything.Fay looked at Wain, confused and concerned.'Wain, what's wrong?'."Oh nothing. Maybe the pollen got into my eyes". Wain wiped his wet eyes.'ohh... Let me blow them for you'.Fay tiptoed and gently blow on Wain's face.'Is it okay now?'. Fay look at him with innocent eyes. He felt his own guts hurting from this. Wain really want to cry right now.What had he done?He can't back down on either of them.He just, hopes Fay will never find out. ...