13

"Ceasaria was always obsessed with the way she looked. Kalypso never understood why Ceasaria never ate such delicious-looking cakes. As she picked up the whisk to create some whipped cream, Kalypso wondered why Ceasaria acted so." — Chapter Four, The Lovable Villainess.

...

The food in front of me was lavish enough to have probably bought a small house for myself. There was an extensive breadth of things, but I knew that my stomach couldn't take it. After eating moldy bread and wine, I couldn't eat anything too greasy. My fingers touched the fork, grazing over it. I wondered if my fingers had enough dexterity to even hold it.

"What do you want to eat?" Cain asked. He paused, "Do you know what these dishes are called?"

I shouldn't have known. But I did, I wondered if that was because of my knowledge. My knowledge of what? I blinked. There it was. The absence of memories other than the Lovable Villainess. I didn't know anything but the words written on the page. Yet, this wasn't a book. This wasn't a novel. This was real life.

"I shouldn't eat anything too heavy," I answered, "Bread is alright."

Cain frowned, but nodded, ripping some bread and putting it on my plate. I wondered if I should stab it with a fork or if I should use my hands to eat it. I glanced down at my hands, they were clean of grime. The blood and dirt underneath my fingernails had been cleaned. They were bony as I was—my wrists looked as though they would collapse.

"You should have some fruits too," Cain said, "They're good for vitamins." He started to awkwardly cut an apple, attempting to slice it before one of the maids quickly interjected. It would be a shame if he cut himself trying to help me.

"You didn't need to do that," Mina answered, exhaling as the door opened. Aramus had opened the door for her. Their relationship was interesting. Mina worked underneath Aramus as his secretarial figure but Aramus opened doors for her and always wanted her around him. It seemed as though the Duke liked her. My eyes wandered to them as Mina smiled, "Are you eating?"

"She's eating bread and fruit," Cain said as sliced apples and oranges were placed in front of me. I wasn't very hungry. Despite not eating, I grew used to the gnawing sensation that cloyed at my stomach.

"When will I start learning magic?" I asked, deciding now was a good enough time.

Aramus sat down at the head, Mina standing behind him. He beckoned Mina to sit down but she didn't, "Once you get healthier," he answered calmly, "Don't rush your body. You can't fool Esme."

I flinched slightly as Cain gently placed his fork on my plate grabbing the apple and putting it near my mouth, "Do you want me to feed you? Try it. It's very sweet. It's called an apple."

I nodded, opening my mouth and letting Cain feed me. He looked delighted, a smile curving on his face. I noticed that he seemed to enjoy my presence. Reading books about how to take care of children and trying to bond with me when he didn't need to do so. There was nothing about me staying here.

"Cain, she can eat by herself."

"I asked for her permission," Cain interjected, "I did."

He was more looking at Mina, who gave a slight chuckle. She walked over patting him on the head, "You did well." She complimented him and he also lit up.

"We should also get you an etiquette teacher."

"There's no need for that," I interjected after swallowing another piece of an apple. "I'm only here to learn how to harness my magic and then I will leave. There's no other reason for me to stay here."

My words made Cain stiffen. His eyes turned somewhat sad. Though melancholy, I didn't wish to stay here if it meant my death. But, what about Cain and Mina? What about the original plot of the novel had to do with me? I didn't understand why the only thing inside of my mind was the Lovable Villainess. How much could I believe in it?

"Is that what you wish?" Aramus asked.

I didn't say anything in return.

"I won't keep you here," Aramus said, sighing. He picked up his glass.

"Father—" Cain frowned as I picked up the bread, starting to nibble on it.

"But, if you are going to stay here in my household. I cannot leave you uneducated. It would be cruel," Aramus said, "So while you regain your strength, I will find tutors to help educate you."

I frowned as Cain looked at me, "Do you hate it that much?" He seemed somewhat hurt.

"I don't hate it," I paused, unsure. Why was I trying not to hurt his feelings? Why was I being cognizant of the fact that Cain was already treating me with kindness, "I'll learn from the teachers."

Aramus smiled, "Ceasaria, no one should have gone through what you went through." He paused as Mina walked behind him, "Let me at least try and right the wrongs that happened. This happened under my purview. I am responsible."

That was new information.

There was nothing in the Lovable Villainess about my parents. The book wasn't about me. It was about Kalypso Valentine. It was about a young girl who changed her ways because she had come from another world and her peculiar mannerisms attracted the attention of everyone around her. I knew about her father and her mother, how her single father had spoiled her rotten due to the fact that Kalypso's mother had died, and then, the carriage accident in which her father passed away.

Yet, nothing was mentioned about my past. The only line was that I had grown up in a turbulent household. I looked at my hands; all that trauma, all that hurt, all for a single line.

"Ceasaria?" Cain asked, quietly.

"Can I ask a question?" I questioned.

Aramus nodded, "I'll answer with honesty."

"Who were they? My parents."

The table was quiet.

"The woman who birthed you was Belladonna Levitius and her husband was Draco Kisro," Aramus said, "They were vassals to me. They were barons after Draco helped me in the war. Belladonna was of higher ranking than her husband, but, hardship fell before them as Belladonna was unable to sing after she had you."

Those were their names.

"Is that why she hated me?"

That wasn't what I wanted to ask, but the questions fell past my lips without thinking. I was so curious. Why had I gone through this?

"Yes," Aramus said softly. His eyes were bleeding sympathy. Everyone was silent because they were guilty. Yet, their guilt didn't satiate my curiosity. This was the only time I would be able to ask these types of questions. I wanted to continue. "Though, I didn't ask her."

"They're both dead right?"

"Yes," Aramus said.

I paused, "It isn't your fault."

"No," Aramus said, "It wasn't your fault, Ceasaria." He stood up and kneeled before me. I was surprised. The cold duke, the man that bled ice, was kneeling in front of me. He reached out to stroke my cheek, slow enough that I knew what he was doing: he was almost asking me for consent without asking. His fingers stroked my cheek. It was weird. It felt warm.

I didn't know what to say. It sounded foolish to say it was my fault. My acumen knew better but my bones, battered and broken, couldn't accept that. If I had been better if I had been more lovable, would I have been able to escape the animalistic maw of my mother??

"For singing," I asked again.

Aramus nodded, "I'm sorry, Ceasaria."

Mina looked away from the scene, her eyes glazing over. I could tell that she was trying not to cry as were the maids in the room. I must have been pitiful, a young girl that had been abused so much that love didn't fit me with me.

Then again, these same people would drag me to my death.