Observing Me

Someday, I'll forget you from my heart, but I'll keep living my life waiting for that day... ― Kreung Cheewit (Tung Jit Jai) [Half My Life (All My Heart)], New Jiew

xxxxxx

[Rinako]

"Oh? Where's your cellphone? Didn't you just bring it with you this morning?" That was Mayu's immediate question to me after the class and while we were walking the path towards the canteen.

I got inwardly startled because of that. But I just smiled at Mayu and tried my best not to show my discomfort because of her question.

"I threw it away," I replied casually. I just hoped she would notice that I don't want to talk about that topic for now

But in all fairness, after I threw that phone away, it was as if a thorn was removed from my chest. Or at least it felt that way. I calmed down even if it was just for a bit.

But then, it still felt like it wasn't enough. It was as if my mind remained in pieces until this moment.

"I thought it would take you a year before you even decide to do that."

I suddenly stopped walking and soon faced Mayu. "What do you mean?"

Mayu sighed before facing me with another of her rare serious expression on her face. "That cellphone held a great deal of sentimental value to you because of him. And the reason why you're having a hard time moving on at the moment was that you still can't let go of the very thing that reminds you of him." Mayu smiled understandingly after that before sighing again.

Wow... I thought I was the only one who had the habit of sighing because of all that commotion. But I didn't comment that out loud. Mayu would only hit me if I did that.

The others didn't know, but Mayu's hitting habits were stronger than mine. Wait, does Seiho even know that?

"My chest felt lighter somehow after doing that. But I think it's still not enough. Something was still wrong. It was as if..."

"As if it wasn't considered as the closure you needed, am I right?"

I nodded because she was on point. That was why it felt as if there was still something wrong even after doing that.

"Ah, who cares? Let's just go. We better have lunch so that we could go to our dance class early. Tachibana-sensei is one strict lady when it comes to attendance. And as far as I knew, she would announce the pairings for our dance practicum today, right?"

"Wow! You memorized that, huh? But I'm sure you're also aware of the fact that Setsuji-kun's also our classmate in that particular class."

Was it me or there was a hint of teasing in Mayu's tone with the way she said the last sentence? I only raised an eyebrow because of that.

"I don't care about anything with regards to that jerk."

I just saw my cousin shaking her head. "Let's go before you end up bursting there. I still don't want to lose my ever dearest cousin-slash-sister figure from the face of the earth because of hypertension."

And my witch of a cousin, she still had the guts to copy my lines. But it was okay. They still made me smile.

So the drama with my cousin and I, we were smiling while traversing the path going to the canteen.

But then I couldn't deny that I felt something was different. It was as if... someone was looking at me intently.

Was there someone observing me?

"Hey, now you can't calm yourself down. I thought you're somehow okay?"

I shook my head and smiled. Mayu's worries for that day because of me were already enough. "It's nothing."

And we just went on ahead, ignoring the feeling that someone was watching me intently.