THE START AND THE END

All of a sudden i had this feeling of 'insecurity'.

I am Summer Elaine Irish. A nobody, a trash, a nerd, alone, and a friend that you will never wished to have.

As what I've said earlier I had this feeling of 'insecurity'. Blaming myself for not having a good looking appearance are one of them.

Being an highschool student i think it's just normal on having a feeling of foolish or obsessively strong love, admiration, or interest in someone which is called infatuation and commonly called as 'crush'.

I met a boy named Jhian Kyle Guerrero. I admit that he's cute, handsome, friendly, and he's also a topnotcher of our class that thing are the things that i admire him the most. And that was the boy who caught my attention and the boy that i considered as my crush.

Usap-usapan rin sa aming campus that he likes that girl named Kieth Angelica Bonifacio who has everything. Aside from being beautiful and smart she has a money to buy her own needs. Yeah you're right she is the girl that makes me insecure.

Kasalukuyan akong nasa library ngayong breaktime, i considered it as my daily routine in school na laging mag stay sa Lib

I prefer to be on library than canteen. Dito sa library tahimik at walang masyadong tao unlike sa canteen maingay, magulo, at maraming tao. Aside from that I dont like to expose myself on crowded people.

I glared at my watch and it makes me happy to see that may one hour pa akong natitira para makapagbasa, I decided to watch every sections of books and there i saw the 'literature'. Tamang tama i had to take an advance study.

I was about to take the book na napili ko nang may nahulog na isang book "Astral Projection" i mouthed as i read the title of it. "Mmm, interesting" nasabi ko sa utak ko.

At ayun pabalik nako sa upuan ko habang hawak-hawak ang dalawang librong napili ko which is 'Literature' and that ano nga yon? Astro blahblahblah grr, ah tama 'Astral Projection'.

I decided to read the literature first so that i could proceed to the next book wherein interesado ako hehehe.

I finished reading my literature book na, i was about to go na sana when i glared at the second book na kinuha ko kanina.

'Tss nawala sa isip ko' nasabi ko nalang at bumalik sa pagkakaupo at binasa ang unang pahina nang libro.

"Astral projection is the ability to separate your astral or spirit body from your physical body, allowing you to explore the astral realm. You're still connected to your body with a silver cord and can return at any time."

'Whoaa' I mouthed as i read the first page. I lick my thumb as i turn it to the next page. I was about to flip it so i could read the second page when the bell rang.

'Time to enter the class'. Because of rattling I left the book without even put it inorder. I ran as fast as i could, 'first time ko na ma late gheez!'

I was about to have a step on the door of our room when " Why are you late Ms. Summer Elaine Irish?!"

my terror Proffesor said with his eyebrows meeting each other (-,-).

"I'm very sorry for being late sir, I'm in the library and I don't have any idea if what time is it" i formally said while I was catching my breath for running fast earlier.

"Fine, sitdown!. Isa pang late at drop-out kana! You know what I hated the most class! BEING LATE".

Napahiya akong tumungo sa kaniyang sinabi lalo na nung diniinan niya ang word na LATE tsk! at ayon na nga bumalik nako sa aking upuan gaya nang sabi niya.

After nung discussions. I was about to packed up my things nung narinig ko ang pag-uusap nang aking mga kaklase.

"Yes Winter Hanz you're right! I tried the Astral projection and it's really amazing! I tried to go everywhere I also tried stalking Jhian at the same time." ani Kieth Angelica na ipinagyayabang ang kaniyang karanasan.

"Woah! for real Angelica so cool?!" ani naman ni Hanz na manghang mangha sa sinabi ni Angelica. Tumango lamang ito at naagaw ni James ang atensiyon nang lahat nang mag salita ito.

"Hahahaha you think it's cool?" sarkastikong sabi niya "Y'all think it's cool?, you were taking risks of your life maaring hindi ka na makakabalik sa iyong katawan. Merong ligaw na kaluluwa ang pwedeng angkinin ang iyong katawan Angelica. You better stop it, you're not look cool for me." mahabang dagdag at banta ni James bago isabit ang kaniyang bag tsaka umalis na.

"Whatever James!" sigaw ni Angelica bago pa maka alis si James. Lumingon lamang ito at umalis na.

Naunang umalis si Jhian kasama yung mga barkada niya, nilingon ako ni Angelica then she started at rolling her shimering and blinkering eyes at me. Di ko nalang ito pinansin, nasanay nako sa lagi niyang ginagawa.

'I also tried stalking Jhian at the same time'

Nag pa ulit-ulit lamang yung sinabi ni Kieth Angelica sa utak ko. I grinned as i think the brilliant idea that flew from my head hahaha.

Bago yung uwian pumunta muna ako sa Library para basahin na yung second page nung Astral projection, besides I also want to try it tonight hehe.

"Tsk!" I sighed grr di ko mahanap yung book, baka kasi niligpit na nung librarian. Kamalas-malasang walang librarian ngayon kasi nga uwian na.

I was walking and reading the section by section of the books when "Aww!" I shouted with pain nung may isang librong nahulog mula sa ulo ko. Padabog ko itong kinuha at

WAAAAAAH i jumped with joy as i saw the book that I was finding a minute ago.

"Astral projection" I smiled as I read the title.

I immediately turn the page at the page that I had been earlier, which is the page two wherein nandon yung process on how to do the Astral projection.

• Step 1: Focus on your breathing. Control it, deep breaths, in and out until you start to feel like your mind is emptying.

• Step 2: The vibrational stage.

• Step 3: Visualize yourself moving WITHOUT moving.

• Step 4: Rise from your body.

"Wow" too much of excitement spotted unto my face. Kinuha ko ang aking kuwaderno at ballpen sa aking bag para ilista ang mga steps nito.

Matapos ko itong ilista ngumiti muna ako bago isabit ang aking bag sa aking balikat at tuluyan nang nilisan ang library.

Nakangiti akong pumasok sa bahay nang sinalubong ako ni Papa "Anong oras na, bat ngayon ka lang." malumanay niyang sabi na siyang nakapag kaba sakin. Si papa nalang ang natitirang kasama ko at ang kaniyang bagong asawa simula nung maghiwalay sila ni mama.

Sasabihin ko ba ang totoo?

Sasabihin ko bang kaya ako na late na umuwi dahil sa Astral projection na yan?

Tapos pag tinanong niya ako kung bakit ko gagawin ang Astral irarason ko 'dahil po sa crush ko papa' tss tama, wag ko nalang sabihin.

"Ahh nanggaling po ako sa library nang school papa, nag advance study lang po ako sa mga subjects na nahihirapan ko." pormal kong sabi at umakyat sa aking silid, masiyado akong excited sa Astral na yan e.

Time check 5:00 PM and I'm ready na to start the Astral projection pinatay ko ang lahat nang ilaw tinakpan ko rin ang ilaw na nanggagaling sa labas nang aking kwarto before i go to sleep pinakiusapan ko sina papa na wag akong istorbohin kasi pagod ako.

I decided to do the Astral Projection nang maaga para malaman ko kung anong ginagawa ni Jhian ngayon. Di naman pwedeng I stalk ko siya nang natutulog no.

So yeah i follow all the steps na.

Now, I'm on step three already as of now, I'm visualizing myself moving without moving and BINGO! Step 4 is ready.

I rise myself from my body, and I'm so amazed that it worked! I can't believe it! I can fly! What i can say now is AMAZING! I'm so amazed! 'This is the time' i mouthed as I'm heading myself unto my crush's house. Here I come Jhian...

I visualized myself that I'm on Jhian's house and for the second time, I am amazed again.

I just found myself on Jhian's house he's with his family eating dinner together.

They were so happy together , laughter fills their house. Di ko na namalayan na may mainit na likidong tumutulo sa aking mata, ang pinangarap kong pamilya na nasira nang dahil sa away nang aking magulang tsk.

A delight smile formed unto myself seeing my crush's smile, because of his dad whose teasing him.

It takes an hour bago ko naisipang bumalik na sa aking katawan, I'm found myself smiling while I'm going back to my body at nakangiti rin ako nung pagmulat ko nang aking mata umaga na.

Dali dali akong naghanda para makapasok na sa school, maya maya lang ay natagpuan ko na ang aking sarili na nasa gate nang aming school. Maglalakad na sana ako papasok sa aming classroom nang..

"Guys do you here the news?" ani nang isang estudyanteng hindi pamilyar saakin.

"What was it?" sagot nang mga kasamahan niya. "Gosh! Jhian Kyle and Kieth Angelica are now official" unti unting gumuho ang aking mundo sa aking narinig parang pinipiga ang aking puso sa aking nalamang dahilan.

"At hindi lang yan, Sir Guerrero and Sir Bonifacio arranged their marriage at the same time" nanlumo ako sa aking narinig ang ama nilang dalawa ay magkakaibigan nga pala.

Tumakbo ako papunta sa aming silid paaralan nang biglang "Aray!" nadulas ako sa sahig nang ako ay bumaba nang tingin nakita ko ang maraming pulbo na nagkalat sa sahig yumuko ako para pahiran ang luhang namumuo saking mga mata

Mag aangat na sana ako nang paningin 'aaaaah!' mayroong malagkit na likido ang ibinuhos saking mukha, malagkit na malagkit. Nung aking mapagtanto ito ay Apple Syrup (-,-)

Inangat ko ang aking paningin at nakita ko kung papaanong magsitawanan ang aking mga kaklase sa ginawa nang grupo nila Angelica.

"Yan, ang napapala ng pakielamera. You thought I won't see you?! I was there Summer, I WAS THERE!"nagulat ako sa kaniyang sinabi "Di ko alam ang sinasabi mo" inosenteng tugon ko, magsasalita pa sana ako ng sampalin niya ako " Akala mo di ko nahahalata? you better stay away from Kyle, Summer. Di lang yan ang kaya kong gawin."

"Hey!" suway ng isang lalaking pamilyar saakin, "Why'd you do that? Go to the Dean's office now Angelica I won't tolerate this action" sigaw ni Jhian kay Angelica "But I'm your girlfriend Kyle, you must be on my side!" sigaw rin ni Angelica na halatang galit na galit na " I'm not pertaining about your relationship with me , I said go to Dean's office now. malumanay na sabi ni Jhian at bumaling sakin. "Hey, you okay?"

Tumango lamang ako at ngumiti bilang tugon. Tumayo ako at kinuha na lamang ang extrang blouse mula sa aking bag at nagpalit na sa restroom.

'That girl is so mean' i said at my mind as i washing my face with running water tsk! bullies everywhere pero naalala ko ang sinabi sakin ni Angelica kanina. Ibig niyang sabihin nakita niya ako kagabi? Eh ano naman sakaniya? Argh!

Lumipas ang ilang araw at inggit lamang ang aking nararamdaman lalo na nung nalaman kong sila na at hindi lang yon ikakasal pa. Matapos ang pangyayaring iyon di ko na tinuloy ang pag a Astral projection.

Kasalukuyan akong nasa kama ko nang lumitaw sa aking isipan ang sinabi ni James nung nakaraan 'Merong ligaw na kaluluwa ang pwedeng angkinin ang iyong katawan Angelica' ibig-sabihin pwede kong pasukan ang katawan ni Angelica? Di ko napigilang hindi tumawa sa aking naisip.

Bumaling ako sa wall clock na nakasabit sa aking silid '4:00 PM' eksaktong eksakto magagawa ko ang Astral, sa ganitong oras wala siguro si Angelica sa kaniyang katawan kaya sinimulan ko na ang proseso pero bago yun sinabihan ko ulit sina papa na wag akong istorbohin kasi pagod ako.

Nasa ika apat na akong proseso at tuluyan ko nang nilisan ang aking katawan. I visualized myself on Angelica's room and I grinned as I found myself standing at her room. Her room amazes me, the color of the wall are all pink and white and has a theme of unicorn, again jelousy and insecurity kills me.

Imagine this room will serves as my room fo a lifetime! I can't explain how happy I am, aside from the fact that this will serves as my room I saw the body of Angelica 'empty' HAHAHAHAHA, she might stalking his boyfriend again tsk.

There's no such reason on wasting time. Napagdesisyonan kong humiga sa katawan ni Angelica para nakawin ito. Iminulat ko ang aking mata at pumunta sa kaniyang salamin napangiti ako nang napakalawak sa aking nasaksihan.

Tuluyan ko na ngang nanakaw ang kaniyang katawan. Ang saya-saya ko! Kasalukuyan akong nakaupo sa kama ni Angelica nang may pumasok sa kaniyang silid. Isang magandang babae na may edad na pero di parin ma ipagkakailang ang ganda niya.

"Honey, you're awake. Bumaba kana dinner is ready." ani niya at hinalikan ako sa pisngi. Yon siguro ang ina ni Angelica. Maliban sa magandang pamumuhay natupad narin ang aking hiling na magkaroon nang masayang pamilya.

Tumango lamang ako at ngumiti bilang tugon. Tuluyan narin akong bumaba ang ganda ganda talaga nang bahay nila.

Natapos ang kainan nang masaya ang sasarap nang pagkain at madami silang kinukwento at ngumingiti lamang ako bilang tugon.

Pabalik nako sa room nang makita ko ang kaluluwa ni Angelica na galit na galit habang umiiyak "Bring back my body trash!" she said with a bristle in her words.

I grinned and said "Why would I?".

Instead of being mad she smiled at me. A scary smile that you will never wished to be seen. "Okay, the wages of body is body." She said with an evil grinned formed from her face. Nagsimula na rin akong maguluhan..

Bakit okay lang sakanya?

Bakit ganon nalang siya kasaya para magpalit kami?

Di kona pinansin ang dalawang tanong na sumasagi sa isip ko. Natulog nalang ako sa malambot na kama ni Angelica at ninamnam ang lamig at ang masarap na halimuyak na lumalabas mula sa kaniyang airconditoner.

Kinabukasan masaya akong pumunta sa paaralan suot-suot ang uniporme at ang mabangong pabango ni Angelica. Papasok na sana ako nang

"Seems like you're enjoying my body trash" lumingon ako sa pinanggalingan non at gulat ako nang makita ko ang aking katawan na batid kong si Angelica na ang nagmamay ari ngayon. "Yes I do" pataray ko ring sabi. "You'll regret this, I do sure you'll regret this." madiin niyang sabi at naiwan lamang akong tulala dahil sa sinabi niya.

Bakit ko pagsisisihan?

Bakit parang di tama ang ginawa ko?

Bakit ganon nalang siya kung umasta?

Nasa ganong sitwasyon na lamang ako nang "Angelica!" napangiti ako dahil alam ko kung kaninong boses iyon nanggaling. Lumingon ako at ngumiti "Kyle! Goodmorning" sagot ko na ikinangiti niya.

"Goodmorning too, I want to talk to you later about the marriage proposal that our parents arranged. " malumanay niyang sabi, at na excite rin ako dahil don. "Sure"

nasabi ko nalang "Hatid na kita" sabi niya na ikinasaya ko. Tumango lamang ako at ngumiti bilang tugon.

It's been an hour when our class already dismissed and I'm here at the park. Our meeting place. Ilang minuto lamang ay nahagilap ko na ang sasakyan ni Jhian. Bumaba siya rito at dali daling pumunta sa kinaroroonan ko.

"Sorry I'm late" he formally said. "It's okay sitdown." I said as i offer the vacant seat na nasa tabi ko he smiled bago umupo. "So what was it?" pagbabasag ko nang katahimikan.

He released a heavy sighed before he started the conversation.

"I'm sorry Angelica, I don't want to marry you." panimula niya na ikinagulat ko.

"All my life I do always follow the order of my father. Studying hard, pursuing his dreams for me, preparing myself for the company are some of them. Di ko iyon sinuway, pero ayoko kong umabot sa punto na pati sa pag-ibig ko siya parin ang mamahala-

"Go straight to the point." naiusal ko nalang matapos magulat sa kaniyang mga sinabi.

"You have the looks, the fame, the money, and the everything. Everything about you makes you beautiful but you know what makes you ugly? It's your attitude Angelica

Funny but i fell inlove with that girl that you were commonly called as nobody, trash, nerd, and alone. That words makes her ugly but you know what? Her kind and tender heart makes her beautiful,

Palagi ko siyang sinusundan pag pumupunta siya sa Library. She never failed to make me smile kahit wala siyang ginagawa,

Seeing her reading her book ang seeing her being alone makes me feel happy.

She may be ugly outside but she's the most beautiful girl inside. I'd rather spend my whole life with that trash than to spend my whole life with you who had nothing but cash.

That girl is worth to fight for, that girl is the girl that I want to spend my whole life with, that girl is the girl that I love the most, that girl named Summer Elaine Irish." mas lalo akong nanlumo sa aking narinig dumaloy ang luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan. Iyon ang huling linya na gusto ko at ayaw kong marinig.

Ilang taon narin ang nakalipas, kinasal na ang taong mahal ko at ang katawan na dapat pagmamay ari ko.

"Kaya pala ganon nalang kadali para kay Angelica na pakawalan ang kaniyang katawan."

"Parehos kaming desperada kaso sumobra siya."

"*You'll regret this* ang katagang sana pinaniwalaan ko"

"I tried to beg Angelica na isauli na ang katawan ko pero wala siyang ginawa kung hindi tawanan lamang ako."

"That should be me pero dahil sa pagiging desperada naging mag isa ako."

"Maybe, the word happily ever after doesn't suits me"

"Maybe there's no us existing in this world"

"Maybe I'm born to be alone."

Because, I'd never thought it was me.

-THE END-