Chapter 116

Ratri-kar nodded, his face had a hint of a smile on it. But his eyes were sad.

"Though that man was not worthy of your forgiveness, I'm sure that you will find it in your heart to forgive this man." He gestured to the unconscious Sovereign. She glanced there and saw that he was squirming, as though in pain.

She ran to him and crouched inside the tent. She placed her hand on his forehead, he had no fever but he was sweating. He was panting and clenching his teeth.

She looked back and saw that Ratri-kar was gone. Her mouth gaped open and she called, "Ratri-kar! Help me! I don't know how to help him."

"The sun burns hotter than the moon." His voice whispered in her head.

I mumbled the words to myself. My eyes were suddenly drawn to the dagger at the Sovereign's side. Then they moved to the fire. I had a feeling I knew what he meant.

One time in Crescent Port, a man at the docks had fallen from a high height and torn a piece of his leg. She'd followed at a distance, worried for the man. The healer had used a red hot metal poker to seal the wound.

Something in her told her that this was exactly what Ratri-kar meant.

She bit her lower lip as she stared at the Sovereign worriedly. This was going to be excruciatingly painful.

She removed his shirt, his entire right side was slick with blood. She tossed the shirt in the fire and placed his two cloaks on the side, they were mostly clean.

She swallowed at seeing his bare torso that shook with his every breath.

She shook her head to wake it from her distracted thoughts. Placing her hand on his forehead she was shocked by how cold it was; it was colder than the temperature surrounding her.

She felt his chest forgetting her previous hesitancy and gasped at how cold his entire body was. The coldest part was near the three jagged claw marks.

"The only way to heal a snow jaguar's touch is with fire." Ratri-Karl's voice appeared in her head, and just as quickly as it had came, it vanished.

This was from the creature.

"Hydrangea…?" He mumbled through gritted teeth. He was shivering like a madman. His cold hands were clenched so tightly his knuckles were near the same colour of her skin.

"I'm here." She answered, it was the only phrase that came to mind. He seemed to relax somewhat.

Her mind and body were both working on different levels; her mind was constantly trying to figure out what was happening, while also trying to comprehend why she so desperately wanted to help the Sovereign. And her body was moving almost as though she had no control over it.

She swallowed nervously and placed the dagger into the coals that skirted the edge of the fire. With surprisingly steady hands she dabbed at the cold blood that had stained his right side.

He had not stopped gritting his teeth in pain and was now hissing, spraying frothing saliva as he tried to breath through the pain.

His entire body shook and she bit her lip as she thought of how much worse the pain would get with the heated metal.

She looked at the dagger and somehow registered that it was ready. Again, her body moved as though she was not in control, and she grabbed a piece of leather to wrap around the dagger's hilt.

Taking a deep breath she gave the Sovereign an apologetic look. Then, placing her hand in the centre of his trembling chest she pressed the blade into the first open wound.

A horrible shout exited the Sovereign's mouth and he thrashed, trying to escape the burning pain. She fought back the horrible pit in her stomach and pain in her chest and pressed him down.

His cries echoed throughout the day as Hydrangea cauterized the entirety of his wounds. After she'd finished with the second claw scratch he'd passed out. The only sounds that he uttered then were groans and a heart wrenching whimpering. His fists were clenched so tightly they'd cracked on multiple occasions.

It was evening when she'd finally finished the horrible task. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and dropped the dagger in the snow outside. Testing his skin once more she was relieved to find that it was at a normal temperature.

She looked to his fists that looked so painfully clenched. With slow and gentle hands she stretched his long brown fingers. His hands had grown rougher than when she'd first felt them.

She remembered when she'd first held his hand.

It was before that insufferable dinner where she'd first met Dimitri and Ariston. The doors were closed before them, his hand had reached to hers and she'd very reluctantly accepted it.

She laid down next to him in the small tent and thought back to that night. He'd changed so much since then. He'd laughed at her each time she'd made a mistake. She sniggered a little when she recalled that that was the first time he'd called her flower.

Despite herself her eyes grew tired and she wished to sleep. She hadn't eaten anything and although she was hungry she was exhausted from the mental, emotional and physical pressures of the day.

Without her consent her body fell into sleep and her feet began to walk in her dreams. They walked across sand. To her tight her ears picked up the sounds of waves against the shore. The sky above her was an orange and red hue, making the water next to her tint yellow to reflect the setting sun.

Looking at the far end of the beach she could see a struggle. Her feet abruptly landed there and her eyes widened as she beheld a scene from her past.

The Sovereign was fighting off three Mathubans, everything was slowed down and she could make out each individual movement. Brigitte sat on the coach, her hands on the reins as her brown eyes looked around nervously.

Hydrangea's heart fell when she looked to where she knew Hadok lay. With slow steps she approached the memory of the dying man. Her throat began to close up and her eyes watered at seeing herself kneeling by him. Her black hair blew in the wind that was warm but sent a chill through her.

She stopped just behind her old self, a tear streaming down her cheek as she watched the sad scene unfold. She could still hear a dull sound of swords ringing but the world was muffled.

She found herself on her knees next to Hadok, his black eyes searching to meet hers.

"My Queen…" He said and she watched in sadness and in pain, this man had not deserved death, "You must… sa…ve… him…"

The entire world surrounding her disappeared and she was left in the dark. "Save him?" She asked herself. But… Hadok had said to save Cadarama, to save the country.

She blinked and images of the Sovereign came to mind, each one showing acts of his kindness.

A new one that she'd never thought of before appeared before her and her heart twisted in a confusing amount of emotions.

It was after Hadok had died and the Sovereign had put an arm around her. She looked at his eyes and saw tears in them. He had cared? He had cried?

She shook her head. There were too many realizations. Too many.