The unanswered question

Infatuation or love?

Dhiraj kept staring at the ceiling. He was back at home, but he couldn't leave Rajat's words back at the office. He tried ignoring Rajat every time he mentioned monochromes, but the dead serious look that he had in his eyes this time, is messing with my head. Fuck! I wish I could forget his words. Love or some infatuation? How can he pigeonhole my feelings like that?

But again, although his heart wanted to ignore Rajat's words so badly, his rational mind couldn't. After all, what he did say was true. I too know why Nakul dropped by the office that day. But how did he know about it? I didn't tell him.

And the next moment, Nakul came in and sat next to Dhiraj. There was an ice cream tub in one of his hands, while a spoonful of ice cream in the other.

"Dhiraj!! Say ahhhh..." Nakul wore a child-like smile on his face.

And of course, it melted Dhiraj away. He opened his mouth and Nakul fed him the ice cream.

"How's it? It's good?" He waited for Dhiraj's response.

"Um-hmm." Dhiraj replied.

"I know right? I saw this flavor in the supermarket and...." Nakul's words faded in the background as Dhiraj's mind was focused on something else.

Should I ask him? He contemplated. And before he could change his mind, he asked the impending question.

"Nakul.....Why did you come to the office that day?" Dhiraj tried to play it casually.

Almost immediately the smile and playfulness on Nakul's face vanished. The looming fear of his that Rajat might have poisoned Dhiraj's mind came back to haunt him.

He was immediately in a state of hysteria. "It's Rajat right? He must've told you something." Nakul looked away with contempt. "He never really liked me. He must've spouted some nonsense about me."

"No. Its-It's not Rajat." Dhiraj didn't understand why he lied. But all he knew was that he didn't want to drag Rajat in this conversation. "It just....felt odd that you dropped by the office on that particular day."

"Why ? Was there anything special on that day?" Nakul countered instead. Dhiraj hadn't told him about his little "date" with Anaya. Nakul just happened to listen to it and lowkey that DID make him mad.

"No.....But...." Dhiraj understood what Nakul was up to.

"I know what was scheduled on that day. Rajat told me." Nakul molded the truth according to his convenience. "But you never told me that you were going out with her?!" Now Nakul unmasked his irritation. "Rather you never tell me about any of these things that you've planned."

How can I tell you? I know you don't even like me mentioning her name. How can I hurt you by telling you that I've things scheduled with her? Dhiraj was contemplating. Should he express his worries? He had never done that before. Professing his love was the easier task. Revealing his fears? Not so much. The scenario of being with someone else even if Nakul knew about it, made him feel as if he was cheating on Nakul. On top of that, knowing Nakul's displeasure with the fake dating thingy only made him want to handle those meetings more discreetly.

"Tell me!! Why do you hide these things from me?" Nakul's eyes clinged on to Dhiraj desperately awaiting an answer.

With whatever courage Dhiraj could muster up, he replied, " Because I know you don't like this.....thing[the fake dating]. And I'm afraid that it will hurt you. And disappoint you. And that...I will hurt you. I don't want that. I would never want that. I love you too much." Dhiraj cupped Nakul's face with his hands as he placed his soft kiss on his baby's lips. His wavering eyes showcased his sincerity to Nakul. And in a split second, Nakul's irritation was replaced with a concoction of different emotions.

His heart skipped a beat when he heard those words. But what followed was a bitterness. Maybe due to the fact that despite knowing Dhiraj was going that far for them, he couldn't help but hate those efforts. The jealousy and insecurity followed as even picturing the image of his love holding hands with someone else made his guts twist. Anger swooped in next. But all he could do was watch his man from afar and that made him feel as if he was trapped in a quicksand. No matter how much he tried, he only sank into a bottomless pit. And to top it off, there was guilt. Guilt that in his impulsiveness, his actions had brought harm to Dhiraj.

It was only after Nakul saw the miserable state Dhiraj was in after their little "office session" that he realized he had ventured too far off the edge. The guilt only catapulted when Dhiraj didn't even complain about it. Everything, just everything made his blood boil, his anxiety peak and his throat choke. And now here was his man telling him how he loved him. How can I deal with all of these emotions?! That was it. Those ugly emotions he was trying to hide all along spilt.

"I hate it." Anger took the form of tears as Nakul burst out. "I absolutely hate it everytime I see you with that woman. Every part of my body BURNS when I see you with her." Those teary eyes said it all. "But-But I know why you are doing this. I know. And I want to help you in any way possible." streams of tears started rolling down his eyes as he tried explaining to Dhiraj what he felt.

"But I just...." Nakul tried to find the right word. "Just the thought of you with someone else makes me lose control."

Although Dhiraj was taken aback for a second due to the sudden outburst, he waited patiently for Nakul to let all of his feelings out.

Nakul continued, "And yes, it hurts. It hurts when I get to know that you will be with her. But I'm not angry with you." His voice suddenly softens as he looks at Dhiraj. "I know you aren't doing this out of your own free will. But still.....I...." He looks away. The guilt suddenly consumed him. He knew he MUST apologize.

"I....that day....I just....couldn't stop myself. But I never wanted to hurt you. I just..." The helplessness took over. "I just lost myself in the moment. I didn't realize that I was being too rough....I don't know what happened...but I didn't want to hurt you...." His eyes desperately seek Dhiraj, wanting him to believe them.

Nakul scooch over Dhiraj. Like a baby, he sat over Dhiraj's lap, putting his arms around his man. Dhiraj was dumbfounded. His baby had never done that.

"I know all of this sounds like excuses. But trust me I'm not trying to make any excuses."

A pause.

"I think I love you too much. I'm so so so sorry that I put you through such a hard time." He kissed Dhiraj's neck, still not ready to let go of Dhiraj. In fact his grip only grew tighter as if someone was going to tear them apart the next moment. "I promise something like this will never happen again. But please don't be mad at me. Please."

The man who was blinded by love could only hear those words as confessions of love. Fuck. How can I be mad at you when you are being so cute?! He pressed his lips together trying to hide his ever widening smile, but soon returned that embrace. "I love you too baby. I love you too!!"

The words Dhiraj heard were sweet. Maybe sickeningly sweet. But that would have been from the perspective of a third person, for example Rajat. Had Rajat witnessed that scene, he would've accurately classified that confession as early signs of a dark, creeping obsession. The obsession of a monochrome, that had no rationale. But his boss was lost in that mirage.

And maybe love does make you stupid. Because the man Dhiraj saw clinging on to him like a baby was the man he loved.

Dhiraj put his hand around Nakul's back. Moving Nakul by his waist, he placed his baby on the couch, as he leaned into Nakul. Their faces were only inches apart. Eyes staring deep into each other, Dhiraj's voice grew softer. "You don't have to apologize. Let's just...try to be more honest with each other from next time. Okay?"

Nakul's lips curled up and he answered by placing a kiss on Dhiraj's lips. "Okay."

Dhiraj's poor heart squealed. Adorable. Adorable. So adorable. He too returned the kiss, placing it on his baby's lips then cheeks then the corner of his eyes. He didn't stop there. The smooth skin he felt under his lips and fingertips made him greedy. They started exploring more. His fingers slipped under Nakul's shirt, tracing his back all the way down to his spine.

Nakul's back arched up in response. So did those muffled moans. His legs wrap around his man's waist, pulling Dhiraj closer. His fingers run through Dhiraj's hair, tugging them and guiding towards his eros spots.

Dhiraj found himself losing in that touch. How can a 27 year old man's skin be so soft and smooth? We even use the same body wash. His mouth traced Nakul's faint ab line, reaching his navel. And unexpectedly, Nakul giggled at that touch.

"Hahaha....Not there. It-haha-it tickles."

That laughter was like a melody to Dhiraj's ear. He proceeded to blow a raspberry on Nakul's flabby stomach. Nakul only laughed more.

"AH! What are you doing?!" Nakul kept looking at Dhiraj.

But the man was too lost in his own little joy ride. Dhiraj quickly removed Nakul's pants. Hmm. His hair has grown quite a bit. Maybe I should help him trim it. [A/N: of course we all know which hair is being talked abt here. I don't knw why I added this? I just feel one does think this way. At least I do😕]

Without any second thought Dhiraj's hands moved to service his baby's cock. He started off slow. Slowing building his way towards the head. His own cock was starting to swell. And Nakul's moans drenched in pleasure only aggravated his need to cum. But...he wanted something more. Maybe a reward?!

The puppy voiced his plea. "Nakul can I do something that I want?" His puppy eyes begged his master.

But of course, his master wasn't going to let go of a chance to tease him. "Okay. But only if you beg for it." Nakul wore that sadistic smile.

"Please please please Nakul. Let me. Would you let me do it if I licked your feet?"

"Ew, No!" Nakul was merely trying to tease his honey. But when he saw those puppy eyes once again, he gave in. "Fine. Have your way." And Dhiraj took that very moment to do something he and his dick had been aching to do for a while.

"You promise right? You can't go back on your words." Dhiraj said as he threw away his own trousers.

Those words made Nakul a bit uncertain. What had he unknowingly signed up for? It only took a second for Dhiraj to notice that arch in Nakul's eyebrows. He immediately bent down to console his baby.

Placing a kiss on Nakul's lips, Dhiraj assured him. "Don't worry. It's nothing difficult."

Saying that Dhiraj positioned himself. Bringing Nakul's legs together, he raises them, supporting them with his chest and shoulder. He wrapped his arms around Nakul's legs. And in a split second Nakul knew what Dhiraj was up to. He suddenly turned red.

"Are you going to....." Nakul meekly asked when the sensations finally hit him. Dhiraj slipped his throbbing dick inside the gap of Nakul's thighs. It was the first time when Nakul experienced something like that.

"I've wanted to do-mphf- this for quite some time now." Dhiraj grunted in his excitement. I hope we can do more than this soon. The sight in front of him was glorious. With Nakul's body all red, he had covered his mouth with the back of his hand. His face wore this...divided expression. Because what he was experiencing was something totally new to him. And those embarrassed expressions only turned on Dhiraj more. He's conflicted. Whether he should enjoy this or not. The puppy wanted to taste his master for once. So he didn't stop thrusting. Instead, he held Nakul's by his wrist and pinned him down.

"Aww.....Let me at least enjoy my treat to the fullest." He let go of his cum dripping cock and instructed Nakul. "Roll over." Involuntarily, Nakul obliged. He rolled over and laid on his stomach. Dhiraj then pulled him by his hips. His plum like ass was up and Dhiraj couldn't resist the urge to spank him.

*Spank

"Ah-ugh-ha...."Nakul really nearly screamed. He had never received that sort of treatment.

Dhiraj bent over. "This is how I feel every time you spank me. It feels good right?"

Nakul didn't want to admit that fact so he deflected. "No. I don't do it so hard."

"Oh really? I beg to differ but the one thing I do know is that your cock does like it." He bit Nakul's ear as he massaged Nakul's twitching dick that was lathered up in pre cum.

Dhiraj didn't want to waste any more time. He once again brought Nakul's thighs together. He slipped his inside that hollow space.

"Argh.....I wish I could do more of this." Dhiraj muttered. I really want to know what being inside of you will feel like. Nakul didn't know how to respond to that. A part of him was still not ready to take the next step.

"I....."

"Don't worry babe. Don't mind me. I'll wait for you. You don't have to push yourself." Dhiraj immediately came to the rescue of his baby.

He got back to the task in hand, focusing on feeling those thighs. But his words didn't leave Nakul's mind. How can he be so nice? Even though I was so rough with him, he's so kind to me. I'm lucky to have him with me. With one hand supporting his body, he put the other around Dhiraj. Sharing a deep kiss with him, Nakul whispered, "I love you~"

And that response contented something deep inside Dhiraj's heart. "I love you too~"

I do love him. I do. 

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