Chapter 76: Boner hahaha!
Hey guys if u like the fanfic and want to read 35+ chapters ahead or just want to support take a visit on my patreon.
(P).(A).(T).(R).(E).(O).(N)
http://patreon.com/Marin_kitawaga
~~~~~~~~
Iris just shook her head in amusement, not knowing how to react to that. Before they could continue their conversation, an old man entered the room and sat on a high chair in front of them. He stared at Iris dumbly before looking at Harry and then back at Iris.
[Name: Lowng Boner
Race: Human
Lvl: 36
HP: 360
Affection: 100
Obedience: 30
Thoughts about you: Confusion, Relief, Love]
Harry was obviously very confused after seeing the stats of the man.
First of all, who the fuck names their kid 'Lowng' when their surname unfortunately happened to be Boner. That was just asking for becoming a joke and the clown of the school. Secondly, why the hell his affection points were maxed. He hadn't ever met him. It didn't make a lick of sense.
"I think you need to see her." The man stood up just a second after he sat. "Come, follow me."
Harry and Iris shared a strange look, but did as they were told. They tailed behind the ancient looking man and walked down a hallway before climbing to the second floor.
There they stepped into a room to their left. What or exactly who they found in the room left them speechless.
Lying on a large bed was Lily Potter. Their mother. She was wearing a light white dress and her white skin shone from within.
"This is Lily Elven Boner. Known around here as the Sleeping Beauty. She is also your mother. And I am your grandfather."
[Name: Lily Elven Boner
Race: Demi-Human
Class: Mage
Lvl: 30
HP: 3000
MP: 6000
Affection: 100
Obedience: 10
Thoughts about you: None]
…Well, they hadn't expected that.
-----------
Sometimes Harry had to ask himself if the gamer system was a curse or a boon. He really had underestimated this quest. He hadn't given much thought to the 'world's reality has been warped for his amusement' part, but now he understood the meaning behind that.
He also realised how monstrously powerful the Creator must be to just change the reality of this world whimsically for the sake of his entertainment.
He and Iris sat by their mother's side as their grandfather told them about their history. Harry was also sure that their grandfather was dead in reality. He didn't even know if this one was real or just some stranger given the script of being their mother's father. He also didn't know whether to laugh or despair as their 'grandfather' narrated their absurd history.
The story goes this way.
'The night Lily Boner was born, a small celestial star fell on their house. Rose Boner, Lily's mother, and Petunia Boner, Lily's elder sister, were the casualties of that celestial incident. But miraculously, Lily and Lowng survived.
And the magical energy of the stardust transferred into the infant. From then on Lily Boner was named Lily Elven Boner since her skin divinely glowed from within like those of ancient Elves.
'Then she grew up to become the most beautiful woman of the village. Many men vied for her hand, but Lily Elven Boner spurned away all of them. At last James Eunuk, a traveller from further lands won her heart and they married with pomp. Alas, tragedy struck when her childhood friend, Severus Oleways, who was smitten with her beauty couldn't contain his jealousy anymore and killed James Eunuk while he was drunk and asleep.
'He would have also killed the newborn twin children if Lowng Boner hadn't stumbled in and drove him away. But he didn't go away without doing further damage, he put Lily into an enchanted sleep.
And proclaimed that only his kiss can pull her out from the throngs of sleep or the Lemon Drop from the garden of evil dragon, Dumbodoor.
'Severus Oleways comes in Teatanpole every year, offering his service, but Lowng Boner always declines it, knowing that his daughter would never forgive him for that. Fearing for the safety of the children, Lowng Boner sent them far away in the western lands to be brought up by Alice Longbottom and Frankly Longbottom, who were family friends of James Eunuk.'
As Lowng Boner finished his tale, Harry looked at Iris who was red in face, not in anger or shame, but because she was trying her best to hold her laughter.
She was unsuccessful.
"Pfft! Hahaha– Elven Boner– Long Boner– Eunuch– Hahaha!" Iris laughed, clutching her stomach as if she had heard the best joke. This was better than even Sirius' jokes. Harry's own lips twitched in amusement, but he was able to keep his mirth within.
Lowng Boner shot Iris an affronted look for laughing at such tragedy. He was getting angrier by each passing second as Iris didn't seem to be able to stop her laughter.
"Don't take it wrong, Mr. Boner. Iris is not making fun of you. It's her own way of showing grief. Since she too has some of the star blood in her, so she has some quirks. That's why she laughs when she feels sorrow and cries when she experiences joy." Harry explained hastily. At once all the stiff anger fled Lowng Boner and he became flaccid.
"I see." said Mr Boner in understanding. Iris at last stopped giggling and discreetly gave a thumbs up to Harry for the nice save.
"What is the way to cure our mother? We will do our best and make her heal and be healthy again." Harry prompted, wanting to finish the quest and escape this crazy village. This whole quest was a big sexual innuendo prank and he wished that he didn't understand some of the hidden and some not hidden hints. But unfortunately, he grew up with a shameless Sirius Black.
"As I said earlier, either a kiss from Severus Oleways or a lemon drop from the garden of the evil dragon Dumbodoor. In that garden, there is a Largebone tree on which the lemon drops grow.
It is said that the fruit has the power to cure any disease, magical or mundane. You just have to swallow it. But the problem is that Dumbodoor is very possessive of his Largebone and won't give a single lemon drop to anyone.
~~~~~~~~
Hey guys if u like the fanfic and want to read 35+ chapters ahead or just want to support take a visit on my patreon.
(P).(A).(T).(R).(E).(O).(N)
http://patreon.com/Marin_kitawaga