He’s Worse Than Dead

(A/N: This chapter is dedicated to the Followers of Dobby.)

While still absolutely thrilled by Fleur's offer, Magnus knew he was an exceptionally clueless boy when it came to relationships. He knew not whether it was because he spent most of his late adolescence in a hospital bed, or the many rather deep rooted issues he developed before the good old cancerous cells saw his body and thought it was free real estate.

'Wait, is it even a relationship? She did ask me to be her date, but it could be just as friends, Champions are obliged to go to the ball after all. In the books, she went with Davies and…' He paused at that.

"Davies." He growled, making a fourth year Ravenclaw yelp in fright. Magnus shot her a look, which was meant to be apologetic, but it seemed to have other effects since Su Li just blushed and ran away

Meh, not his problem.

What was very much his problem was the fool who dared take his Fleur anywhere in another reality, oh yes, and unlike his more flowery issues, this was something he could very easily take care of.

"You know I'm always ready to kick some nargles, but is there any reason for your newfound hatred of our chaser?" Luna asked with an uncharacteristic sneer.

Davis had been one of her biggest bullies, after all.

'All the more reason to get rid of him.'

"Nothing concrete, beyond remembering that he is nothing more than a conniving, contemptible, calamitous, complicit carp of a soon-to-be castrated cur." Magnus said each word with as much contempt as humanly possible, and then some.

Luna looked at Padma, who was torn between glaring at her plate of broccoli or partaking in some sweet Hogwarts drama; she eventually decided on the latter.

"I want a Magnus." The chipmunk said.

"We have a Magnus at home." Padma shook her head.

"Nah, Frenchie stole him, I want one for my own nefarious purposes." She gave the puppy eyes, much to his and Padma's amusement.

Well, mostly Padma's, she had a knowing grin while he was still seething with barely repressed righteous anger.

"Sorry Luna, guess we missed our chance." Padma bowed her head dramatically, before quickly shooting him a look. "Please tell me you're going to kill him."

Wait what?

"Well I'll be damned." Magnus said under his breath, reevaluating his lady friend. "I thought you were against righteous murder?"

"There's nothing righteous about the murders you plan." She said, before adding once he raised a brow. "Malfoy doesn't count."

He still looked at her.

"Nor does Lockhart."

"To be fair, that one was a team effort with Professor Snape." I said, but still looked at her with a raised brow.

"Oh come on." She rolled her eyes, looking over at Luna for help. "Pettigrew got the Potters killed and your father in prison, he doesn't count either."

Both Magnus and Luna raised a brow.

"Alright, you got three justified murders, but it doesn't make the rest any more righteous." Padma admitted, crossing her arms.

"Well once is an accident." He said.

"Twice a coincidence." Luna added, grinning.

"Thrice is a pattern." Magnus finished with a smirk, they got her.

The two of them enjoyed the way their Indian friend struggled to form another argument, before she noticed that the murders he planned were largely justified, which was so utterly and completely unreasonable it fried her mind.

"Padma.exe stopped working" The boy chuckled, fist bumping a victorious looking Luna under the table.

She had no idea what he was saying, but she was happy to be involved.

Eventually, Padma's brain restarted and she recovered enough of her mental facilities to drop the towel. With the needed amount of huffing and complaining, of course.

"You're cruel." She glared holes at him.

"I know." Magnus smiled. "But we can't change who we are."

The girl just rolled her eyes, something he and his blonde chipmunk friend made her do so many times they often worried that her eyes might fall off.

"You still didn't tell me why you're okay with me killing him." He asked her, not saying the name of his prey.

She looked at him for a while, before shooting Luna who just shook her head with a grin.

"Well, I was worried you'd try to do something more…drastic." Padma seemed to struggle with choosing her words.

'Drastic?' He thought, and tried to come with something. It's not like he had a mental library full of fates worse than death he could unleash on his enemies if they somehow threatened his and his family's freedom and safety.

That would be too crazy, wouldn't it?

"Like orchestrating his descent into a madness so deep and twisted he will seek out Filch and a couple trolls to set up an orgy so evil and obscene it would make Slaanesh herself look away in disgust?" Magnus said sternly.

The two girls looked very disturbed.

"Who's Slaanesh?" Luna ended up asking.

"You don't want to know." He chided her, holding eye contact to make his point.

The best defense against chaos is ignorance, after all.

"Okay." She nodded, and he gave her a chocolate, pulling a trick out of her playbook.

If she could try to condition him, he could do the same.

"Now why would I inflict this kind of trauma on that wretch, Padma." He asked, amber eyes gleaming with a predatory look.

"Well, the thing is…" She drawled on, looking everywhere and nowhere for support. But found none, Luna was her best bet, but she was busy unwrapping some delicious milk chocolate candy.

"Spill it." Magnus ordered.

"Because he was making eyes at Fleur…" Padma squiked, reminding him of a little fact about his dear flower.

She was so lovely people couldn't help but look at her, and want her. And that last fact did not sit well with him, not one bit.

"He's dead." He said plainly, "No, he's worse than dead."

Padma blanched, Magnus's eyes transformed into those of a bird of prey, Davies felt a chin run up his spine while Luna moaned in delight while she enjoyed the taste of the chocolaty delight melting in her mouth.

Slaanesh approves…somewhat.

As for a certain flower, who unknowingly caused a lot of suffering for one Roger Davies, she was busy writing many letters to her family and swooning over her new robes.

She was certainly looking forward to the ball.

________________Author Note__________________

Hey guys! It's Uncle Sheo!

Here's another sweet little chapter for you cheesemongers to enjoy, it was extremely fun to make believe me. Davies isn't of the same opinion obviously, or at least he won't be.

Mwahahaha!

Magnus is gonna use that very special set of skills he acquired through a year of tormenting Lockhart to exact some not so reasonable revenge on that worthless wretch.

He absolutely isn't doing this to escape the emotional wreck he becomes each time the world Yule or Flower are mentioned, no sir, not his style.

Anyway, have a nice day and tune in next time for another chapter of Eagle Soars, thanks for those who came to the Isles and supported the writing effort, it means a lot to me.

Peace and Cheese!