Chapter 11.7| Then We Hug

Meng Yin and Xu Zhiyi sat cross-legged on the ground, facing the audience. Their gazes fixed on a specific point, where a certain memory was being reenacted, unsure if the past could be reconciled. 

The two years at the Third High School for Yin were not easily summarised with a single word or sentence, but overall, it was far from a typical experience. 

"Despite failing the entrance exam, I entered the Third High School with hope," Yin spoke as if traversing through a tunnel of time. "Shortly after, I noticed a peculiar culture within the school. Any slight deviation in behaviour or language became gossip among different cliques, leading to ridicule and bullying. Some teachers would offer token reprimands upon witnessing this, while others, driven by college acceptance rate, enforced a form of verbal abuse under the guise of 'it's for your own good'." 

"In our class, three individuals were identified as targets of explicit or implicit bullying - Ma Yang, Lu Zi, and…" Yin paused before exhaling, finally saying, "me." 

Zhiyi was aware of these circumstances, but hearing Yin express the emotional impact firsthand evoked a different response - anger and pity from the former, and a sense of helplessness from the latter. 

Without interrupting her, Zhiyi's gaze followed her profile, settling on where her eyes focused. 

"Ma Yang was teased and bullied for his effeminate appearance, Lu Zi faced scrutiny for gaining weight due to medication, and I... perhaps for not conforming to their cliques, I was ostracised. It could also be due to my adherence to basic etiquette, perceived as aloof by some, hence becoming a target." The reasons behind her victimization were deduced from fragmented conversations and her own reflection on her actions. 

"The first instance of bullying I encountered was during a meal in the cafeteria before the end-of-term exams in my first year of high school..."

During a meal with her roommates, Yin was suddenly approached by three senior high school girls. The lead girl asked, "Are you Meng Yin?" 

Upon receiving confirmation, she grabbed the seaweed soup on the table and splashed it on her.

"Meng Yin, I warn you, don't act so bitch."

It was the first time in her life that he had been unreasonably targeted by strangers in public. Anger and indignation swept over her in an instant, and the next moment, Yin splashed another bowl of seaweed soup towards the three, glaring at them with red eyes, and asked hoarsely, "Are you out of your mind?"

Though Yin had always given off a cheerful and slightly delicate impression, she was never what one would call a soft girl.

Later, Yin found out that the girl who led the group was Xie Ruo, known as one of the troubled students in the sophomore class. She had come to pick a fight with Yin simply because the day before, Yin had found a student ID at the cafeteria entrance and returned it to the owner based on the name on it.

In reality, she hadn't personally returned the ID to the owner but had arrived at the door of Class 6 of the sophomore year, asking students sitting there to pass it on.

Just a few steps away, Yin was called back by the person who had lost the ID, Meng Fan.

He came out holding the ID to thank her.

This scene was caught by Xie Ruo, and judged on Yin a son of bitch.

"That was the first time I realized that a person could be so extreme and possessive without reason."

Apart from being regular classmates, Xie Ruo and Meng Fan had another layer of relationship where Ruo was into Meng Fan, but he rejected her. Just like a plot from a drama where a domineering CEO forcefully pursues someone, Ruo has an incredible possessiveness towards Fan, not considering whether her actions would trouble him, but irrationally not allowing any other girl near Meng Fan.

After the incident during the winter break, rumours about Yin began circulating in the group chats and forums of the Third High School. Upon returning to school, no one sought to uncover the truth behind these baseless rumours; instead, she faced isolation within her class and gossip from those who recognized her in the school. 

Yin was aware of all this, even traced the origins of the rumours, but chose not to investigate further. Her lack of pursuit only fueled Ruo's emotions, leading to incidents where she played pranks on Yin in the toilet, pulled her ponytail in the hallway, had someone mess up her desk, and poured milk tea on it. 

Yin nearly fell in the female toilet due to vegetable oil on the floor, got into fights in the school alley after repeated hair-pulling incidents, and stopped eating in the cafeteria after her notes were ruined by milk tea.

"My academic performance is decent, and I haven't had trouble with teachers," Yin's voice remained calm yet intense, "However, rumours about me kept escalating, and those causing me trouble were not limited to those three."

There were whispers of her being the other girl meddling in a senior student couple's relationship, rumours suggesting she had no parents and was financially supported by underage escort work, portraying her as unclean. Some even alluded to her family background involving delinquency, explaining her fighting ability, but insinuating her family's disapproval because she was a girl. 

Yin shifted her gaze from the audience, focusing on her feet, and responded to Xu Zhiyi's question about the happiest and saddest moments at the Third High School

"So, Xu Zhiyi," Yin never looked at him, "My unhappiest moment isn't becoming a victim of bullying, but realizing how difficult it is to turn back time. My happiest moment is not becoming like them."

In regular high schools in A City, the Third High School is well-known for its teaching staff that can rival that of key schools. Occasionally, its admission rate can compete with those of top-tier schools. Consequently, many parents spare no effort to secure a spot for their children, often investing their entire savings. Unbeknownst to many, within the closed management system of the Third High School, teachers engage in competitive and preferential treatment based on students' backgrounds, leading to a subtle division between conforming to the "hardcore group" and making "personalized choices." The latter's individuality is based on seeking attention, which in turn forces conformity to be seen as a way of self-preservation.

The most unhappy thing is not being able to return to the past, and the happiest thing is not becoming the person you despise the most.

This response was unexpected and very Meng Yin.

Xu Zhiyi's jawline gradually tightened, showing signs of collapse.

The things that Yin revealed seemed trivial compared to the details Zhiyi knew, with each piece of gossip that harmed her being meticulously archived.

He had seen Yin's arms and face marked with scratches and scars after confronting bullies in the alleys behind the Third High School, her eyes always bright and determined. He had seen pictures of someone attempting to cut off her long hair as a prank, and witnessed her helping other bullied students at the THS...

However, in the past two years, their infrequent meetings and conversations revealed that Yin remained the same in her presence, to the point where he realized that this girl, who always smiled generously and interacted with others appropriately, had travelled a long and burdensome road in the hourglass of time. She had not been crushed, nor had she been tainted, always holding her head high, walking under a temporarily clouded sun.

"So you always avoided discussing school experiences."

 The question Zhiyi truly wanted to ask was, how did you manage to get through it?

Yin crossed her legs, hugged her knees, and gazed at her toes, unsure of how to express herself. Finally, she confessed to him, "I was very unhappy at the Third High School." 

This admission had been typed out many times but never sent to him. 

Yin remembered how even in casual conversations, Zhiyi could understand her thoughts with just a few words. She recalled how he would wish her a happy birthday at midnight every year, how he recorded a ukulele version of "Young Battlefield" for her, and how he shared every moment surrounded by flowers in the past two years. 

The days at the THS reminded her of the precious friendship between her and Xu Zhiyi, a source of strength that allowed her to move forward but also made her afraid to confide in him. 

"Are you worried I'll believe those rumours?" a sense of relief when she finally admitted, "In that situation, I truly lacked confidence." Her voice carried a hint of resignation. Despite knowing Zhiyi's character, Yin had never verbalized her fears, feeling insecure and prone to overthinking. She feared how she would cope if Zhiyi ever believed one of those rumours. However, during her brief month at FHS, a more supportive Xu Zhiyi revealed himself, instilling greater confidence in her. 

"It's the reason you learned judo?"Zhiyi asked.

Yin admitted, "I had a premonition that something bad might happen, so I needed to be able to protect myself." She paused before adding, "It was also then that I set my goal to transfer to FHS." 

With her parents in Australia and few close relatives in A City, Meng Yin's only option was to become stronger to protect herself. Learning judo and studying science were both challenging. Whenever she felt exhausted after judo classes or struggled with solving problems, she would listen to "Dream It Possible" on repeat. In the past two years, she only dared to listen to "Young Battlefield" after talking and meeting with Xu Zhiyi. 

Looking at Zhiyi with a smile and tears in her eyes, Yin said, "The conditions for transferring to FHS were quite difficult, but I made it."

Zhiyi suddenly shifted position, crossing his legs and sitting in front of Yin.

"Have you experienced any psychological issues?" 

Yin was momentarily stunned, reminded of the story of "Queer Eye," a question that Xu Zhiyi, who was known for his comprehensive and meticulous thinking, would naturally consider.

"Xu Zhiyi, are you concerned that I lack a venting outlet, and I'm shouldering these matters alone, which might be causing psychological strain?" 

Xu Zhiyi furrowed his brow and nodded.

"I realized my mental state wasn't great towards the end of my sophomore year. After exams ended, I sought help from a psychotherapist."

Starting from the mid-term exams of sophomore year, Yin began to have frequent dreams, ranging from all sorts, but most commonly dreaming of Xu Zhiyi and their days at middle school. She would often cry in her dreams, the suffocating feeling in her chest waking her up. Unable to fall back asleep every time she woke up, she would struggle through the day. As the dreams became more frequent, she became afraid to sleep, fearing the beautiful first half of the dreams, only to wake up to emptiness and a sense of loss.

"My psychological condition wasn't too severe. I followed medical advice, took medication, and had regular check-ups. I'm fine now." Yin looked at Zhiyi's tensed face, gently patting the back of the hand resting on his knee, and said solemnly, "Xu Zhiyi, THS and FHS represent two sides of education. In THS, I felt like you were the sun as our relationship was good, I could run towards the light with your support. You, as the sun, always cheered for me. But after transferring to FHS, I no longer see you as the sun. You, are my dearest comrade."

In those years, he was the one who firmly held a place in her heart, becoming the strength that helped her overcome obstacles, leading her to the realization that they were comrades, and she was proud to have Xu Zhiyi as a comrade.

This time, it was Zhiyi who was stunned, finally understanding the reason why Yin transferred to Yizhong in her senior year — because of him.

Before he could gather his thoughts, Yin got up from the floor, pulled him up, and said, "Xu Zhiyi, I've finished telling my story. Let's focus on rehearsing now."

Zhiyi remained motionless, a hint of mist in his clear eyes, yet his gaze was sharp, "Crybaby, I want to give you a hug."

Rest against my shoulder and let it all out.

With that, he stood up and embraced Meng Yin.

It was a very gentlemanly hug, light yet profound.