Chapter 48

I know I have strong feelings towards both Jimin and Namjoon, but are they feelings of love or lust? Honestly I think a little of it is infatuation. If I really think about it, I like both of them a lot. There are things that I could possibly fall in love with given more time. But that is something we don't have. At the rate that they are getting though the album now after the initial slow start Jimin had alone they will be ready to leave in a week or so rather than the 2 months that was originally proposed.

Do I see myself packing up my life and leaving to live in Korea with Namjoon, no, I don't. Do I see myself with Jimin long distance, no, I don't. Would I like to be in love with a good man, yes, most definitely but can happiness stem from this situation? I really don't know.

Ok, let's get serious for a minute. I need to ask myself some questions.

Who do you think you have more in common with? I would say Namjoon.

Who do you find more physically attractive? That's a tough one because they are both beautiful but his height and broadness swings it. Namjoon.

Who made you feel most excited sexually? I can't answer that because I have only been with Namjoon once and that was as part of a threesome. I would need to be with him on his own to be able to answer fairly.

When it comes to personality it's more difficult. They are both fun, sweet, driven and sometimes can be dominant, both have shown me things I like, neither have shown me a side I didn't like. Now not everything is about sex, and based on the other questions Namjoon is winning. I just can't break up their friendship and possibly ruin the biggest boy band in the world. I'm still so confused and tired.

I slip out of the fluffy pink towel and use it to try and get the excess water out of my hair. I check in my bag and find a hair band and pull it up into a messy bun and put the nightie of Sylvia's on. It is a little big but it's soft. I climb into the bed and snuggle down, pulling the covers to my chin.

It feels weird being in a bed alone again, it's surprising how quickly you adapt to having 2 other bodies with you. It feels empty. I turn on to my side and close my eyes. I can't stop thinking about Namjoon's face as I left. Maybe leaving wasn't a good idea Aimee. You might have just cemented your fate. He might not want you now you have run away. He could see you in a different light.